If true love is not possible, would you settle for companionship

[Tuesday Afternoon]

and choose to be happy and secure with money and the chance to travel the world?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Hell, yes.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. thanks

validation :D

[Ptah]

3. Well go through tucson up to santa fe

And Barbara in Nashville says were welcome to stay


http://youtube.com/watch?v=QYxlMrp91yA

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. ~

:cry:

[Ptah]

10. Yes, there is that

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. you always have been able to make me smile.

Even through the tears. Is that your dog? I want a dog. I have 2 cats. Its not the same.

[Ptah]

17. My daughter took that picture. The dog owns her SO.

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. He is a nice looking dog. Very soulful eyes.

:hug:

:hi:

thanks for being you:loveya:

[Ptah]

21. I can do that

[crim son]

4. Yes, but I don't know if I'd ever be able to convince myself that

true love is not possible. Not until I'm eighty and still on the shelf, that is.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. I give up. It is not in the cards for me and I have been alone now

since my divorce, 4 years now. I am tired and bone weary. This is a nice man with a good sense of humor. I have never had security in my life. I would like to know what that feels like.

[crim son]

12. I hope I didn't sound critical.

There's a lot to be said for a solid, secure relationship based on friendship, as long as you both know what you're doing. :hug: I hope it works for you.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. No, I didn't take it that way at all.

It is just that I really think I had true love at 16. Long story, bottom line=it didn't work out. Anyway, I have known love that is why I can't see waiting on it til I am 80. Your story is different is all. No offense was taken.

[Truthiness Inspector]

24. Are you still in contact with him?

If he is married, you need to let it go. If he isn't, find a way to find out.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

26. I am confused --

do you mean to ask if I am still in contact with the boy I loved at age 16? The answer to that is, NO. I have no idea what is going on in his life. I could find out with some effort...is this what you are asking?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear Tuesday Afternoon!

You know, it often happens, esp. when folks have mutual respect, that living together brings love into the bargain eventually...

So I would say....go for it...

Because you just might find true love in there one sweet day...

And even if you don't find love, you will have companionship and caring...And those matter a lot.

:pals:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. I think I will.

Thanks for helping me put this in perspective.

[Critters2]

7. Absolutely. I completely hate living alone.

I'd do almost anything not to be alone the rest of my life.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. I know what you mean. I have been alone 4 years since my

divorce. I broke my arm 2 weeks ago and I needed help. I am tired of making decisions all by myself. Thanks.

[noamnety]

15. I think that sort of thing works best

if you are both on the same sheet of music, rather than one being head over heels in love and the other thinking eh, this is okay.

If you are both good with it, then yes, it'd be like having a roommate that you get on with really well.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. At our age, I think we both know the score.

He is a widower and seems to be practical. I need that in my life. I am such a dreamer that I will float away on the first cloud that passes by. I need some stability in my life. Besides that which I have created for myself, if you know what I mean.

[alarimer]

16. Sure why not?

As long as we got along fine, that is. Otherwise it would suck.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. So far, so good.

Most of my arguments with the ex were over money, specifically the lack of it, due to his spending it on his various "habits".

I don't want this to sound like I am looking for money. I'm not. What I am lookng for is a man that knows how to handle his money responsibly. Does this make sense?

[alarimer]

52. Of course it makes sense

Money is one of the biggest reasons for divorce (so I have heard) and I'd guess if one party is not handling it responsibly, it makes it even worse.

[madeline_con]

22. It sounds like you're marrying someone you don't really love

but that's just what it sounds like to me. You msy regret it later.


Do you have 2 weeks to live, and have to hitch up for some reason?

:shrug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. No. I don't have to do anything. Except live alone --

which is fine, for a time. There are many kinds of love. I always thought I would be with my twin soul. I don't think this man is my twin soul. Perhaps it is not meant to be that I am with my twin soul this time around. Meanwhile, this man is good and we have fun...why not have fun? As for marriage, do I have to get married?

[Connonym]

58. shacking up in sin?!

:thumbsup: I'd go for it.

[Bennyboy]

25. You bet.....

True love is only fleeting anyway.... I would much rather be with someone that got me than was all about the passion at my age. twenty years ago i would not think tht but now...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

27. Exactly. I understand my own mortality. Time is wasting away or

as they say around here -- "Daylight's burning" :D

[Bennyboy]

28. Time waits for no one.....

and it won't wait for me....

[Tuesday Afternoon]

29. Thing is --

I would have waited, but not so they could continue to live a lie. I just could not wrap my head around that.

[some guy]

30. I've read throuh to here.

Yes a companion is an acceptable substitute for true love. No, you don't have to get married. Pity about the cats thing in post 13, though. :)

For me, I'm content to live the rest of my life alone, though I do like having my 2 cats. I keep having friends come into and go out of my life. I've learned to appreciate and enjoy them while they're there, and not regret if/when life takes them (or me) on a different path, so that the friendship ends.

I'm finally (maybe) figuring out "Follow your Bliss." It seems to me to be living life, as much as posible, the way you want to live it, and if you change your mind about something, it's jut a different fork in the path you were already following. People come and go, and we learn from them what we choose to learn, enjoy the time with them we choose to enjoy.

Try to give as good as you get. It's easier, if you look for the best in any given situation or relationship.

We're all going to die, so nothing is really permanent. Try to find joy in each day, and to not mourn what may be lost. :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

34. thanks and don't get me wrong...I adore my cats.

I am one of those weird cat people that likes dogs, too. My lifestyle is not conducive to owning a dog. They require more attention and I am a traveler.
I have been content and I have found peace, these last four years, but I don't think I can "handle" living the rest of my life alone.
Bliss is a good word. Ringing a bell of a song...headed to google to see if I can find it :D

That last sentence of yours is wonderful advice. :hug:

eta: lyrics to the song with the word "bliss"

Monday, hard to wake up
Fill my coffee cup, I'm out the door
Yeah, the freeway's standing still today
It's gonna make me late, and thats for sure
I'm running out of gas and out of time
Never gonna make it there by nine

There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more "BLISS"
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

Five years and there's no doubt
That I'm burnt out, I've had enough
So now boss man, here's my two weeks
I'll make it short and sweet, so listen up
I could work my life away, but why?
I got things to do before die

Some believe in destiny, and some believe in fate
I believe that happiness is something we create
You best belive that I'm not gonna wait
'Cause there's gotta be something more

I get home 7:30 the house is dirty, but it can wait
Yeah, 'cause right now I need some downtime
To drink some red wine and celebrate
Armageddon could be knocking at my door
but I ain't gonna answer thats for sure.
There's gotta be something more!

[some guy]

41. I like dogs too.

I'm like you in that cats are a better fit in my life than dogs are, so I understand that. I have friends who have dogs, so I get to enjoy part-time dog companionship as well as that of my cats.

:pals:

[Writer]

31. TA, NO! NEVER NEVER NEVER!

I simply would settle for whatever status that relationship may be in: friendship, friendship with benefits, dating, serious dating, or more... I would never simply settle for cohabiting for the sake of companionship. That would be a step away from hell for me.

~Writer~

[Tuesday Afternoon]

36. I understand what you are saying. As time passes who knows

where this relationship will lead? I think I owe it to myself to give it a chance...It could grow into something. At this point, I am thinking friends with benefits is not such a bad thing, is it?

[Wapsie B]

32. The way you've described it yes.

But if true love is not a possibility for me to do that there'd have to be at least a strong physical attraction to the other person.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

38. well. let me put this way -- He is not an ugly man by any means.

And anyway, I have never been one for "looks". I have a type that I am attracted to, it really is not based on looks as much as "a look". Is this making sense?

[Deep13]

33. Sounds like true love to me. n/t

[Tuesday Afternoon]

39. It is true, in that I love to travel --

who knows...

[Deep13]

42. I don't know what you mean by "true love."

I never waited for for any kind of this-is-it feeling. I always considered it to be a decision and a commitment to stick with that decision. My marriage is built on compatible interests, goals, values and personalities and I have never had cause to regret it.

Also, don't hate yourself for considering economic matters. Marriage is and has always been primarily an economic arrangement.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

44. Thank you.

"true love"...perhaps it is just a will-o-the-wisp :shrug:

[SeattleGirl]

35. No.

At this time, I've "settled", (minus money and chance to travel), but even with those things, I'd say no. I can make my own money, I have friends, but love, in the way I desire it, is not something I want to give up on.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

40. I didn't think I would either, SeattleGirl ---

but, what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Maybe this is love that just needs a chance to grow.

[qwertyMike]

37. True Love Hurts

Been there, still am, but I wouln't give it up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAbnUGjs718

[Tuesday Afternoon]

46. I knew the song...curious to which version you would post

excellent rendition, thanks :loveya:

and with Buddy Miller, no less :thumbsup:

[Hoof Hearted]

43. Absolutely. You might find out later it was true love after all.

Companionship makes up the greater portion of what I feel as true love anyway.

And I didn't get money or travel out of the deal! That would be icing on the proverbial cake.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

45. icing -- me likey

:9

I will invite you over for cake :D

[libodem]

47. Nah,

If it's not true love then just be friends. Marriage changes things and makes the expectations different. True love is the glue, that holds a couple together, through the really rough spots. It's unfair especially if one of the people is really in love with the other. They will never really be loved back with same adoration, and the person not in love will feel guilty. They are also potentially out there waiting to find the 'one', when 'they', finally happen along. Just be friends, you don't fuck your friends, and that's what a marriage is all about. A contract to fuck. You are setting yourself up for resentment, if you have the convience and the tribulations of marriage, and no one to fuck. One or the other will be looking. And if it's for the money, go ahead. You'll be getting what you deserve. :)

[Lady President]

48. Sure

Sharing my life with someone who is kind, secure, and shares my interests is pretty much my idea of love. Maybe I'm cynical, but the passionates loves in my life have always been sprinkled with more turmoil than I would want now. Give me nice and dependable!

Enjoy your travels. :)

[Deja Q]

49. You bet your sweet bippy I would!

[rug]

50. It depends on how much you have to put out.

[Deja Q]

55. I think the OP meant spiritually...

[woo me with science]

51. As long as you welcome what you are getting into

and don't resent him or her for not having true love for you.

[SPKrazy]

53. I don't know

I just don't know

[SKKY]

54. I don't know. I think I would probably rather be alone...

...and just have cheap, random one-night stands. But hey, that's just me.

[MissMillie]

56. well, how do you know true love is not possible?

are you sure?

[BarenakedLady]

57. I did that

I regret it. Well sort of. I have three beautiful children, so I can't really say that.

It is a hard thing for me to be objective about, I guess.

Hell, what do I know.

:shrug:

[Bucky]

59. Are you making me an offer?

Shouldn't you meet my parents first?

[LaurenG]

60. You just never know how happy you could be. A "friend"

or companion can turn into the greatest love of all. :hug:

[Maccagirl]

61. At this point, I'll take either one.

sigh.

[lost-in-nj]

62. This is a tough one.....

I am in love with love...
I think its a wonderful feeling to give it and receive it..
I know it hurts like hell when it goes bad, but to have a friend with benefits...
I would have to think about this..... Maybe if I was up front with him about it and there were no delusions... but let him know ...maybe... it might grow.....

I hope you find your answer...
Does he love you??? or are you a companion to??
:hug:

lost