Short rant on quirks of British English which piss me off

[wuushew]

Addition of non-existent R to the end of the word "idea".

Referring to places as though they were activities. Examples include going to university or going to hospital. All the sentence requires is addition of an "a" or "the".

Pronouncing schedule with the "sh" sound instead of the "sk" sound. I think the consonant additions that Scandinavians introduced to English are quite pleasing.

[JCMach1]

1. I see you have 'learnt' it well...

God I hate that one!!!

[Richardo]

2. We Americans say 'going to church' and 'going to school'

Plus we say the definite phrase 'the hospital' even though we probably are referencing an indefinite hospital. It's always "They took him to the hospital"' never "They took him to a hospital." :shrug:




I guess I've given this some thought too.


On edit: What's your opinion of the collective plural? "The crowd have taken their seats" or "Coventry City have never won the FA Cup"?

[JCMach1]

4. Absolutely, the British teachers complete screw-up

students with their articles here...

They come to me completely screwed up!

[Bunny]

39. Richardo you magnificent bastard! Guys who know their grammar are HAWT!!!

:loveya:
:hi: hon!

[Richardo]

42. Bunny!

:blush: + :loveya: + :pals:

I just sent you a PM. How's that for synchronicity? :hi:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

3. It's easy to solve

We'll just have to go over and kick their asses again. That'll teach 'em to mess with the English language!

Ta. :evilgrin: (I lived 50 miles from London for two years and enjoyed every minute of my stay.)

[Jamastiene]

5. Really?

I like the way they say things and the way they add the u in words like favourite and colour. It's all good. Chill. Seriously.

[IronLionZion]

6. Pronouncing Thames as "tems", Leicester as "lester", Edinburgh as "Edinboro"

and many more. Why put the e on the end in centre, metre, etc? Why put a u in favourite?

As for the 'r', they put that on the end of anything that ends in "a", not just idea but people's names too like Gina or Reba.

What the hell is a lavatory or water closet? Why would I go to a "pub" (public house) instead of a bar?

Bloody Brits changed the name of Mumbai to Bombay and Thiruvananthapuram to Trivandrum. Bloody hell!

Why would I call my Mom "Mum"? Silliness. Baseball is way better than cricket.

[wuushew]

7. Don't forget the alternate spellings of metals

Aluminum is much easier on the tongue than aluminium.

[GirlinContempt]

12. Damn them for putting letters in there that Americans had to take out!

Oh the humanity!!!!!!!!

[IronLionZion]

18. Oh Bloody Hell! Bugger off, you're the dog's bollocks, quite the nutter you are

don't smoke so many fags. fancy a shag?

[geardaddy]

28. Good show, old bean.

I say.

[Jamastiene]

13. I dunno. Mum doesn't sound so bad at all to me.

I am an American and I put a u in favourite. :D

[IronLionZion]

17. I got in trouble in school for spelling "axe" and "favourite".

My mom went and complained to the teacher since I had learned the British spellings at home. It was so silly. Oh well, this is America so we speak American English. Many of the spelling difference are because of Noah Webster himself when he wrote his dictionary.

[Writer]

22. I had that same problem in Second Grade after I wrote "theatre" in an essay.

I learnt it from Tolkien. :P

[IronLionZion]

47. I'm sure you "learnt" it

when you should have learned it! :p

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

16. Why put a "u" in favourite?

Hell, why put an "o" in favrit?

Why not spell it centr or metr?

I don't know why they call it a lavatory, but at least they didn't add a "u" in there. Aka "loo" for some reason.

Two peoples separated by a common language, I don't remember who said that.

[GirlinContempt]

43. Why? Cause that's how it's spelled.

[Bucky]

53. heathen

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

55. Grrrr, I been tol' off by a Spelling Nazi

Nice reply, Hitler.

:rofl:
:hi:

[GirlinContempt]

58. Any time, Pol Pot

[pink-o]

44. Two peoples separated by a common language...

...oh, said by Oscar Wilde, of course! Who else is so erudite and wittily sophisticated???

Anyway, living in London in the 70s, when I was young and impressionable and in love with Brit music, I figured they were superior in all ways to my Yankee self.

Until I heard them speak. How can anyone torture their own language piece by piece until it's well-murdered and maimed?

"We was goin' dere" (in a broad west end/cockney dialect.) Many "ain'ts" and bad verb agreements, and regional pronunciations that were nails-on-a-chalkboard on roids.

And yet, they still had the temerity to correct me when I mis-pronounced Leicester Square, Worcester Sauce, Berkeley Square and describing someone who's a Bank Clerk. Pshaw! Indeed, I say

;)

(not to worry, I still love me my Brit friends, despite their linguistic challenges. And now I can get my own back, when they come to San Francisco Airport and check into a flight to Puerto Vallarta. Invariably pronouncing the double "l" as l and not "y". I only correct them for their own good, wouldn't want them to be embarrassed in Mexico or anything!:evilgrin:

[muriel_volestrangler]

48. 'lavatory' comes directly from Latin; 'colour', 'centre' etc. via French

If in doubt, blame the French. There, that proves I'm English.

[Orsino]

25. The British are profligate consumers of extra consonants.

SUVs comparatively economical.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. This pisses you off?

Wow.

:shrug:

[NewJeffCT]

9. When are those damn Brits going to learn proper English?

How dare they!

[Dr. Strange]

11. If they can't speak the Queen's English, then they shouldn't have a queen!

I, for one, shan't be speaking like any damn Brit!

[LisaM]

10. I enjoy the quirks of the English language

It's fun. I watch a lot of Canadian TV, and they pronounce "offense" (in hockey, which they spell offence) as "Oh-fence", along with a slew of other things. What, do you want to live in Esperanto World?

[wuushew]

15. I am not out to destroy local dialects.

Canada has supplied a vast list of plain spoken musicians, actors and news anchors to the United States.

Peter Jennings who I consider the gold standard in pleasing spoken delivery didn't go around dropping ah-butes and ehhs. Lorne Greene, William Shatner, Dan Ankryod all Canadian.

[CGowen]

14. Lieutenant pronounced as "Leftennent" or so n/t

[Karenina]

19. In future

could you find something more substantial about which to get your knickers in a twist?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

24. I do hope that the OP is just

taking the piss. :evilgrin:

[Richardo]

45. I love 'knickers in a twist"

The phrase, not the actual twisted knickers themselves.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

20. I say, you are a cheeky bugger

If you don't quit whinging about this, I'll have to ring Super Nanny to come look after you lot. She won't let you have any bickies with your tea.

[geardaddy]

29. Ooo-err missus

You're a bit stroppy. ;)

[GoneOffShore]

21. Oy, chav, you're a real J Arthur, you are

Did you actually go to university or are you just a grammar school skivver?

We started the bloody language, you buggers bollixed it up.

Mind you how you go on, or I'll get in my jam jar, come over and chuck you down the apples.

[Writer]

23. Actually I think what happened is that we sort of "fell off the language tree" when the English...

settled here. The newly budded English, sprung from the Seventeenth Century, grew into modern day 'Murkin.

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. STFU, n00b

ZOMG!!!11 Pwnage is teh r0XXor!!!!!111



B-)

[Writer]

30. STFU, u sUXXor!!!!!!1111

:P

[TZ]

27. Oh stop your grizzling....:)

(whining). I have to laugh when I see posts like this. I had an Aussie boss who was always talking about how funny us 'Muricans speak.....yet at the same time, I had to work hard not to laugh at some of the ways he prounounced things.yeah, British/Aussie English is a bit bizarre sounding at times, imo.

[mwooldri]

31. Well then you might enjoy this.

Plan to European-ise the English language.

Credit: http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~choh/german.htm

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

[Writer]

40. LOL. Vunderful!

Vedy vedy gut.

[muriel_volestrangler]

49. As any fule kno.

[harmonicon]

67. damn, that's funny

[Hand]

32. "an hotel" bugs me tremendously...

although really the only place I've seen it used insistently is in Evelyn Waugh's novels, and he was a cranky old reactionary papist... :hi:

[tjwmason]

34. I use it

It all depends on where one places the stress in the word. If one says hOtel then it needs to be "a", but if one says hotEl the pronunciation of the 'h' changes and "an" becomes more natural and leads to more flowing speech.

[Hand]

35. Obviously you hate America.

Off to Gitmo you go! :rofl:

[tjwmason]

36. Never been there

So I can't comment.

[tjwmason]

33. Which "r" in idea?

Having lived here for the whole of my life, I'm utterly mystified by this suggestion - idea ends with an "a", if anything our pronunciation is aking to "ideah".

Why should we stick a pointless article in front of such places? if I'm going to university it's quite clear that this will be "a university".

The American pronunciation of schedule is one of the most grating sounds the world has experienced - and due to popular culture it is infecting these islands too. Fingernails down a blackboard are often preferable to skedule.

[midlife_mo_Jo]

37. The team were late.

Instead of "The team was late."

We use a singular verb with a group, a team, a staff of office workers. The Brits use a plural. I hate the way that sounds.

On the other hand, I like the way the Brits say "been." as b "long E n" instead of "b short i n" sounds cool. Actually, I love British accents. All of them!

When we lived in England my kids picked up accents. It was so cute. :)

And I've never said "idea" with an "r" in my life!

[Writer]

38. I know an Englishman who pronounces "idea" with an r.

But he's from the NW section.

[supernova]

50. So do a lot of New Yorkers

Extra "Rs," not just for the English anymore.

;-)

[Writer]

51. And pirates.

Yar!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

57. Arrr! Jumpin' the gun a little, ain'cha, me pretty wench?

It's a few months 'til "Talk Like a Pirate Day"

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

edited fer puntuashun!!

:rofl:

[wuushew]

60. Any of the announcers on BBC radio

I sometimes have the BBC news on when falling asleep. I think Max Percen(sp?) does the 6:00 GMT show.

[Quantess]

66. I have heard it too.

It must be a specific dialect of a certain region.

[rug]

41. Why do you have superfluous "u"s in your name?

[conscious evolution]

46. They walk funny too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w

[querelle]

52. Being A Canadian.............

I learned the english spellings..........ise instead of ize for words such as "internalise, conseptualise, etc. you get the idea. makes perfect sense to me. i could never understand the american obsession with the letter "z". why?

Q

[Richardo]

54. Duh. It's a 10 pointer

:D

[Arugula Latte]

65. You mean "zee-not-zed"

;)

[cabraverde]

56. I know someone who got in trouble for

asking another student if "they had an extra rubber". Not meaning a condom but instead an eraser.

[Taverner]

59. Beats Low Southern Drawl

damn, if I can't understand a word they say

[NNadir]

61. They should really learn to speak English, I mean, er, um...

...or Norwegian or Flemish or something like that.

Winston Churchill said that the Americans and the English were two people divided by a common language.

[Canuckistanian]

62. My Dad says "idea-r"

He also says "no-go-ciate" for "negociate".

I haven't got a clue where he gets it from. He was born a Canadian.

[midnight armadillo]

63. How about the way they say "Barack"?

The BBC folk say "BEAR-ack" whereas we say "ba-RACK". Irritating. Maybe if he ends up president they'll say it right.

[muriel_volestrangler]

69. Well, they have been told the correct way

They have a Pronunciation Unit for such things:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/01/how_to_say_barack_obama.shtml

Note they reckon he uses a long 'a' for the 2nd syllable of this first name, where you seem to want a short one. The video clip they took that from is now gone, however.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

64. I loved "V for Vendetta"

Because everybody said "bollocks!" every time they got mad.

Among other things.


I learned British slang from hearing Who songs. So I found out about bob and quid and lorries.

Anybody else remember The Avengers TV show where Patrick Macnee had a headache, and said that he had a "mee-graine"???

"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space because it's bugger all down here on earth!". -- The Galaxy Song, from THE MEANING OF LIFE, Monty Python movie.


Anybody else remember John Lennon singing "Norwegian Wood" and singing "As I sat on the roog"??

And Paul singing "Till There was You" on Ed Sullivan, and sang "There were birds, but I never sawr them winging, no I never, sawr them at all, till there was you" ??

[Hardrada]

68. I read lots and lots of English lit when young and ended up

adding extra vowels to words and using "grey" instead of "gray" and also picked up a lot of Edwardian and Twenties slang like "bird" and "toodle-oo" and "kite" for airplane! This would get me looked on as an anachonism in the UK, I fancy.
O jolly good, o jolly jolly good, I daresay.

[T_i_B]

70. It's our language thank you.

There is no such thing as US English. We will notify Microsoft on your behalf.

[kwassa]

71. John Fitzgerald Kennedy used to talk about idears a lot.

He used to talk about the crisis in Cuber, too.

Not only New Englanders add 'R's.

Local Murlanders, some from Balmer, (Maryland, Baltimore) talk about our nation's capitol, Warshington D.C.

For some reason, people from West Virginia say 'idear', too, and call a creek a crick.

[Felix Mala]

72. Idears about Cubar, that is...