I'm a woman whose friends have always been males...Am I alone?

[bicentennial_baby]

I was discussing this with a male friend recently, as he noticed that the vast majority of my friends were men. At age 2-3, my best friend was a boy named Randy. Age 5-6, Mark. All through elementary and high school, my closest friends were male. Same in my adult life. I have nothing against women, I just feel more akin to men and we get along better. Am I a freak?

The reason I ask is b/c my male friend said that I surround myself with males, and I objected and said that we gravitate to each other. I just relate to men better than women on a friendship basis.

Me confused! :crazy:

PS I do have some wonderful female friends...although, they are more "boy-like" than your average female... :rofl:

[VenusRising]

1. I'm the same.

I get along much better with males on the whole vs females.

You and I can hang in the confused corner of the Lounge.

:pals:

:hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Sweet, I'm not alooooone!

I can't explain it, but it's just the way it is. :toast:

:pals:

:hi:

[VenusRising]

3. Word.

:toast:

The more I get to know about you, the more I realize how much we are alike.

I'm gonna keep my eye on you. I know how I am. :P

[bicentennial_baby]

5. Freaky Friday babe!

:rofl:

Mwah! :loveya:

[VenusRising]

If you knew the half.

:rofl:

Back atcha...Mmmmmwah! :loveya:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Me, too. All my life, most of my friends have been men.

Not that this has helped me much in the actual boyfriend department. But I've always worked in predominantly male occupations so I mostly know men, and I get along well with them. They just don't want to make out with me. :(

[bicentennial_baby]

7. See, I have a different problem...

The vast majority don't seem to want to make out with me, but some do! And then it's all boundaries, boundaries, boundaries...Oy Vey!

:P

:pals:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. You are young. Me, not so much.

You go kind of invisible once you get past your mid-40s.

[bicentennial_baby]

10. Awww....don't lose hope...

we're all hot mommas...Just gotta let the right one come our way. It SO happens... :hug:

[Sugar Smack]

6. No, baybee. You're not a freak as far as I'm concerned.

I have 3 female best friends, and the rest of my buddies are male. :pals:

[bicentennial_baby]

8. Where do I fit in? Huh?

:scared:

:P

[Sugar Smack]

13. OOOHHHH, I have no idea,

but here is a song:

Nothing can be done against the truth
No matter how we remain in denial
Wasting time, replacing time
With each empty excuse
But that'll only last a little while
Coping with despair
Knowing you're not there
Ashamed to just admit I've been a fool
So I blame it on the Son
Run away from everyone
Hoping to escape this ridicule
Trapped in misery
Wrapped so miserably in this deception
I wear it like a skin
Dying to maintain
Oh I keep trying to explain
This heart that never loved me to begin
Oh I'm such a mess
I have no choice but to confess
That I've been desperately trying to belong
Lying to myself and everybody else
Refusing to admit my right was wrong
And then he came

Selah
And it means praise and meditation
And then he came
Selah
And it means... did you think about that?
And then he came
Selah
And it means praise and meditation
And then he came
Selah
And it means that it is received

How beautiful is fruit still in denial of its roots
My guilty heart behaves so foolishly
This treason from within that reasons with my sin
Won't be happy til it sees the death of me
Selfishly addicted to a life that I depicted
Conflicted cuz it's not reality
Oh what's left of me?
I beg you desperately-
Cause me to agree with what I know is best for me

Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from myself
Please save me from myself
So I can heal

The choices that I make
Oh have been nothing but mistakes
What a wasted use of space
Should I die before I wake?
In all of my religion
I fortified this prison
Obligated to obey the demands of bad decision

Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from myself
Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from my self so I can heal
And then he came

Selah...and it means praise and medtitation
And then he came
Selah... and it means did you think about that?
And then he came
Selah... and it means meditation
And then he came
Selah... and it means that is is received

And then he came


It's one of the best songs I've ever SEEN by Lauryn Hill. :D If you heard it you'd know.

[bicentennial_baby]

14. You know I'll always save you ma cherie...

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

16. I love you, my love. If there's any way you could

listen to the song, please do. It's grace personified. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

18. I will look it up on ITunes, promise...

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

21. YESSSS!!!!!

Sorry, maudlin right now, but I SWEAR you will not be disappointed!:hug: :loveya:

[Jamastiene]

11. Same here.

You are not alone.

[bicentennial_baby]

12. Word sista...

:toast:

[RevolutionaryActs]

15. Guess you're just a freak.

:P




:loveya:

[bicentennial_baby]

17. Ok, you're off my very small female friends list!

:rofl:

[RevolutionaryActs]

What, you *need* me on there.

I'm girly. I balance things out. :rofl:

Except I like violent things, crude humor, and fire. Hmm, maybe I'm not so girly? :shrug:

[bicentennial_baby]

23. See? One of us! One of us!

:rofl:

[RevolutionaryActs]

28. Oooh, but you've never seen me do my hair and makeup.

Pure girlienss*. :rofl:




* is that a word?

[bicentennial_baby]

Yeah, traitor...

Confession: I don't wear makeup, like, ever...Soooo rare. But da boys think I'm just dreamy without it, so.... :shrug:

:rofl:

[RevolutionaryActs]

32. So...? You're lucky!

I have horrible skin.... must cover! *sigh*


Oh well, I counteract it by watching South Park. :P

[bicentennial_baby]

33. I credit it to my remarkable cheekbones and...

my awesome boobs and ass, actually... :rofl:

:P

[RevolutionaryActs]

35. Oooh brag, brag, brag.

:eyes:




:rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

37. Hey, the old lady's got it going on!

:rofl:

[RevolutionaryActs]

38. Not bad for a 40 year old!

Oh wait.... :hide:

[bicentennial_baby]

39. You are *such* a beeyotch...

:rofl:

i <3 this thread, my ladies... :D

[RevolutionaryActs]

40. Hey, it could've been worse.

I could have said "a 40 year old munchkin."



Oooops. :yoiks:









Oooh! But maybe we can make that into a movie!!! The 40 Year Old Munchkin.. I can see it now.....

[bicentennial_baby]

41. I am NOT Rob Schneider!!

:rofl:

Cuz you *know* that's who would be playing my part!!

[RevolutionaryActs]

43. But his boobs aren't nearly big enough.

:shrug:

[KitchenWitch]

19. I am also a woman with a lot of male friends

Not that I don't have female friends, I am just kind of one of the guys.

[bicentennial_baby]

22. Same here...

Word. :toast:

I think that my recent thang is that I'm an Econ major in upper level classes, which becomes somewhat incestuous to begin with, but most of us are male, and then there's me. Plus, I'm wicked smart and take the best notes, so I've cultivated a following over the past couple years... :rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

24. And with one of these I can have as many of those as I want!

:rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

29. Bingo!

:rofl:

[Robeson]

20. I'm a man, who has always had female friends....

...so I can relate.

[bicentennial_baby]

26. Rock on...

I like that we don't all follow pre-determined gender roles, as they are. We challenge the status quo, just by existing. :toast:

[Ava]

25. nope, i'm the same

mostly because i don't like the drama of other girls my age... as i've gotten older i've gotten more male friends and less females ones. i'm still a fairly girly girl, but i just get along with guys my age better than girls my age.

at my age guys are just more fun to hang out with :rofl:
don't get me wrong, i have friends that are females, but the drama is just insane.

[bicentennial_baby]

27. Trust me, it doesn't really change...

I mean, yeah, some women change markedly from HS, but a lot of them don't until they get much older. I just dig my boy friends. They're fun, funny, smart, and there's very little BS. I enjoy that, a lot. :)

:toast:

[Ava]

30. guys can be asses though

especially at my age. i have to be careful because i've had guy friends that i've lost friendships with because they wanted to start dating and i either a: tried it and it didn't work or b: didn't because i didn't want to mess up a good friendship and then it screwed up anyways.

[bicentennial_baby]

31. Oh yeah, at your age, it's tricky as hell..

I've been there. It gets somewhat better as you get older, as you hone your skills at weeding out the icky ones. I mean, they may be perfectly fine otherwise, but some boys just suck in that regard.

:pals:

[Ava]

34. i've gotten pretty good at spotting it

because they start acting nervous all of the sudden and quit looking me in the eye. if a guy won't look me in the eyes that's a deal breaker for me friendship or anything else wise.

[bicentennial_baby]

36. Sometimes that's just nerves and,

sometimes the ones that look you in the eyes dead on are the worst, most cocky ones. Be forewarned. :P

[DarkTirade]

42. It's not common, but neither is it unheard of.

Most of my friends over the years have been women... although I think a good portion of that is because I'm a musician. So while the other guys were out throwing footballs around and all that crap, I was hanging out with girls. :P

[Gonzo Gardener]

44. You're not alone... it's the same for me and it looks like we're in good company here!

:grouphug:

:hi:

From my first all girl slumber party in 3rd grade to my short stint in the Brownies, at around the same time, it felt strange being around a group of giggling girls. I have made 5 close female friends at different times/places in my adult life, but I've always hung with the boys, always.

I guess it's fairly unusual that, not including family, there were only 2 women at my wedding... no one to throw the bouquet to. Shortly after that my best male friend asked me to host his bachelor party in Vegas!!!1!!1 and stand up at the wedding as his best (wo)man. B-)

I'm not confused... just tomboyish.

[bicentennial_baby]

50. It's interesting, no?

It's not that we don't like women, we're just kinda hardwired in a different way than a lot of women...Fascinating.

:hi:

[Gormy Cuss]

45. It sucked as a teen and in my early 20s.

Inevitably somebody's date would get jealous and it would get weird, or someone would think we were dating and not bother pursuing a relationship.

What's weirder is that I've developed mostly close female friends as an adult.

[Sugar Smack]

47. Look, I'm coming out of a crying jag & I need levity.

What are you? Guy? Girl?

[Gormy Cuss]

51. Check my profile.

}(

[Gormy Cuss]

52. Okay, in all seriousness

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[bicentennial_baby]

49. Interesting...and yeah, I hear that...

I have that problem with some of my male friends too...jealousy. And I'm all like, huh? We're friends! :wtf:

:hi:

[Shakespeare]

46. Newp. Me, too.

I've just always gotten along better with the boys. :hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

48. w00t!

Both in the Year of the Dragon too! :woohoo:

:loveya:

[Shakespeare]

53. Dragons are teh awesome.

:loveya:

[CL Avenger]

54. What do you mean?

It's only wrong if you have lustful thoughts about all those guys. Then that would say something about your moral character and you would have to repent. But I think you are a good clean wholesome girl, or at least I pray so....

:hi:

[Shakespeare]

69. Where on EARTH do you get off?

Did she SAY she had lustful thoughts? No, that came from your twisted, fucked-up imagination. And even if she did, it's none of your damn business.

Take your sick, twisted, fundamentalist bullshit elsewhere.

[Name removed]

73. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Shakespeare]

75. But can't I still jump up and down on his head for awhile?

It's such easy entertainment, after all... :rofl:

:loveya:

[bicentennial_baby]

76. Yes, please do...

:rofl:

:loveya:

PS- He needs a less obvious screenname :P

[Shakespeare]

79. Have you been watching the Top Chef marathon today?

Bourdain and Ripert, all in one morning... :9

[bicentennial_baby]

80. No, I was out all morning, and now...

we're watching NFL network and doing a huge house cleaning...Stoopid company coming over... :eyes:

:)

[sniffa]

77. How's college going for you?

:hi:

[qnr]

55. Most of my friends were female. Although, I must say, that this being the Lounge

and all, I'm quite surprised that there haven't been any comments relating to sex changes, IRT "have always been males"

[trof]

56. Same for my daughter.

Her entire wedding party was male.
Even her 'maid of honor'.
All friends of hers and her husband from high school days on.

[Guava Jelly]

57. I am a Male

And my best friends are females.
I don't get along with most men because where I live they are either republican,sports nuts,or just far to different from me.
I am almost bigoted toward White males

[WritingIsMyReligion]

58. Hell no--I have lots of male friends as well.

Female friends, too, but like you say, most of those are tomboyish or simply down-to-earth. I cannot tolerate girly-girl behavior--drives me up the fucking wall. :D

[RainDog]

59. Me too, sort of

I was a tomboy when I was a kid and the boy next door was my best friend and we used to spend the night together (and engage in some... okay, that's a lie), and in elementary school I was "married" to this one guy for forever, but we had male and female children (others in the class)

-- AND when I was in elementary school, females were just too mean to often. Two girls, my "best" friends from 4-6 grade, used to decide to hate me and would do things like ask the class to divide their desks so that people who liked me moved their desks to one side... and the boys were on my side, so that's when I kinda decided too many females try to pretend they're nice, but they have claws, too. Women are just more "subtle" about being assholes.

but my tastes are often more like guys I know-not all of them, and not all the same things. but -- I don't like "chick flicks," but loved Fight Club, etc. Music too- like blues and jazz and not corporate "pop/rock." I'm not nostalgic over "classic rock" - of course love some of it, but hate some of it too... it's not a matter of sentiment, if that makes sense. Or maybe I just haven't been around the right females.. I do know some who share my tastes but our schedules are totally opposite anymore (tho she did play my Merry Mood Swingin' Christmas! mix on Christmas day - at her request. This is the indie station around here.

BUT I think I've always had one good female friend all the time too. I don't like to talk about make up etc. etc. but that doesn't mean I don't like to play around with it... it's just not worth it to make that important except for fun. I've also always had gay men friends. A lot of times I know gay men who share my sense of humor. And there's no "tension" of any kind.. we like the same thing... but our tastes don't (often?) match.

However, in the DU Lounge there are lots of women who are hep to the jive. Maybe I've just lived in the wrong places all my life.

[RadiationTherapy]

60. All of my female friends say they prefer to hang out with men.

[raptor_rider]

61. I only have 2 good female friends

the rest are male. Where I work, the only other females is the owner and her daughter-in-law, and they rarely show up for work. I work around 25 men and I rather have it that way. At least men are up front about things instead of stabbing each other in the back.

[NMDemDist2]

62. i have had many more close males friends than female

still do.

luckily I married my BFF

:hi:

[alarimer]

63. I am the same way

I never had a lot of female friends because I am not "girly"- in fact I hate all that crap, makeup, shopping, etc. Yuck, just yuck. So most of my female friends are like me- we play soccer or kayak or other sporty things.

On further reflection, I work in a workplace with mostly men. Now these particular ones are not sexist assholes for the most part so it's okay but I have had to call them on some of their sexist behavior from time to time but other than that it's been okay.

I definitely have an issue with women who like to talk about very personal issues (I don't like to talk about them- I am squeamish and easily embarrassed by mentions of bodily functions). And that just puts me off and makes me not want to be around them.

[Aristus]

64. As a guy, I've always gotten along better with women than with men.

I guess because men are so competitive (or at least are perceived that way, and they feel they have to live up to the perception.) When I was a kid, I never liked the arm-wrestling matches or belching contests all the guys were into. I wasn't into towel-snapping and stuff like that.

I took a lot of guff for being "sensitive", and my high school persona was that of the guy that all the girls liked but didn't want to go out with. Even when I joined the rough-and-tumble all-male world of the Army tank crewman, I tended to keep to myself, reading Shakespeare and drinking red wine when all the other guys were watching NASCAR and drinking Bud.

I'm pretty happy with who I am nowadays.

[Midlodemocrat]

65. I'm the same way. Raised with four brothers, so that is probably part of it.

[lildreamer316]

66. Very much the same...

...although I have managed to hold on to one or two good female friends. It kinda freaks men out when I am friendly to them, they can't figure out if I am coming on to them or not. Sometimes it's frustrating for me.

[graywarrior]

67. Same here until...

I got sober. Then I ran with a pack of wild women.

[skater314159]

68. Me too...

... actually I'm a "genderfuck" or a "straightlesbian" in that I have always been a tomboy, liked "masculine" things, had male best friends, love hockey (and played it too!), excell at math and science while sucking at grammar, love hunting, and other stuff that is "guy oriented" to some folks. Most of my friends are male - both gay and straight, and the few close female friends I have are usually masculine or lesbians... it's just they seem to "get" me and my opinions and stuff better than straight "normal" or "feminine" women do.

I've never had people ask my why, and I haven't really analysed it 'cause that is just who I am. If you are happy with it, why bother? I don't think you're a freak, but the only person whose opinion matters is yours. Let your freak flag fly honey! :loveya:

:hippie:
skater314159

[Jade Fox]

70. With friends of the opposite sex the competition is off....

I think that both men and women have areas of competitiveness with member of their own gender. These things disappear and you can relax with the opposite sex.

In a lot of ways I prefer men as friends. Many women are intimidated by me while men respect me, I suspect for the very same things.

[LostInAnomie]

71. You realize that most of those guys just wanted to get down to some boning, right?

That's what we guys do.

[bicentennial_baby]

74. That's fine, they're not getting any from me...

So they can dream all they want. :)

[distantearlywarning]

72. That's me too.

I've had a few close women friends, but most of my best friends throughout my life have been men. I just relate to them better. And I can't deal with girl drama/craziness and meanness, which always seems to happen in groups of women even among the most "liberated" and even among older women. The gossip, the fakey hurt feelings, the exclusion and "who said what to whom" nonsense constantly. Ick! :puke: I just want to have a normal, drama-free existence, and men are better for that. Also, I tend to have more stereotypically male interests, and am not interested in many of the things other women often seem to care about.

Just last night we were having a small get-together. Somehow I ended up in the back room with the other 3 women talking. I realized about 15 minutes in that I was bored silly and longing to rejoin the male conversation in the living room, where they were talking about video games and politics. But I couldn't figure out how to politely extricate myself.

[Withywindle]

83. That sounds like me!

I've had several close longterm female friends, still do, but hanging out in all-female groups gives me the CREEPS. I always feel there's some girl social code that no one ever explained to me, and I'm always clueless and on the outside of it. Besides, a lot of women my age in my social group these days have babies, and I can happily live out the rest of my life without someone trying to talk about cervical dilation or baby poop while I'm trying to eat EVER AGAIN. (possibly the only conversational topic I hate more than overpriced clothes.)

I tend to have more interest-based friendships than situational ones, and in mixed groups or groups of guys, it just seems so much more laid-back and straightforward, where you can actually talk about politics or indie rock or what books we're reading or our tabletop RPG or whatever geekery it was that brought us together in the first place. And potty-mouthed sex conversations are more fun with men - I learn more useful things. :D

The female friends I do have are gold, though. Love 'em to death. But the friendships aren't necessarily closer or longer-lasting than the ones I've had for going on 25 years with a few men.

[alarimer]

84. I refuse to talk about medical/body issues with anyone (friends I mean, not doctors)

and if anyone starts talking about them to me, I leave the room. It's rude but I am squeamish and easily embarrassed.

I lack some essential thing that makes me at all interested in shopping or babies or hair.

[Withywindle]

87. I don't think it's rude.

If a topic makes you literally ill, what's really rude is expecting you to stay.

I'm pretty sensitive to it as well. I start feeling lightheaded and queasy and thoroughly grossed out.

Well, there's shopping and there's shopping...if it's about record stores or bookstores, I'm there! But yeah, totally couldn't care less about fashion. Or babies, but I guess it is polite to pretend to be at least mildly interested if the baby's actually there, so I think I've gotten decent at faking it. Only in VERY small doses, though.

[Forkboy]

78. Weirdo

:hi:

I get along with women far better than most men. Always have, and I suspect I always will.

[SarahB]

81. I get along better with men, but...

I seem to end up in professions way to female oriented, so I end up being terrible at "the girl game" with my co-workers (although raves in reviews and from patients). I like like being around men, but I tend to end up being closest friends with other irreverent women who feel the same way. My daughter is the same way. With 3 bio brothers and 1 step brother, she says, "I can't do the catty girl shit."
Some of us just don't "get" the catty girl shit.

[Critters2]

82. My friends have not only been male, they've been gay males.

I'm what's known in the community as a "fag hag". Or, alternately, a "fruit fly". I actually considered therapy to figure out why I seem attracted to gay men. But then I decided that these guys enhance my life, and I didn't want to be cured of them.

[Withywindle]

88. And you know they aren't just hanging out with you because they want to get in your pants!

Win-win.

Except when you have a friend like that and one day you realize you really want to get in HIS pants and it's never going to happen. :(

[libodem]

85. I think I get along with

both equally well. It helps so that all the guys', I hang out with, wives don't hate or fear me. I'm usually the only girl at band practice, with all the guys. I had all brothers and all sons. I'm lucky. I like men! :9

[Skittles]

86. I get along with men much more than women

men are, quite simply, er....simpler critters :D

[noamnety]

89. That's how I was for most of my life

until I started reading some feminist theory, and really examining my own relationships, and how notions of male supremacy had been adopted by me. I realized I felt like having mainly male friends made me more cool.

The thing that really brought it home was being in a room of very intelligent people, mixed together, having a great discussion at a conference. The staff came in and brought fresh coffee. Everyone got up, got drinks, and when they sat down, they didn't keep their original seats - they/we self-sorted into male/female ends of the room, with no exceptions.

I contemplated getting up and moving to the male side of the room, I felt like I'd been somehow put in the second class area. It's troubling now, because I doubt any of the men viewed their positions in that light.

But when I really started listening to the women in this group, I realized they were still having an amazing talk. One woman had lived in Africa and was talking about cultural differences between there and here. They were political, they had great insights. But they spoke in nonauthoritative ways, no pompous professor lingo. So it didn't come off as being a conversation "of importance."

I started realizing within my own circle of acquaintances, there were some amazing women whom I'd rendered invisible. I had to stop and reevaluate my friendships, and the ways in which I was valuing people.