So if you are the one who "dumps"/ends a romantic relationship, it's easy right?

[Tropics_Dude83]

My facebook post got me thinking about how a person who ends a relationship or is in effect the "dumper" feels. I would guess that you're mad for a couple of days and then you move on and never think about the person again right? I would suspect that the grieving period if there is one at all is something easily managed? I mean, if you break up with someone, you're getting what you want right? So, it's probably a happy time.

Have you ever dumped someone? How does it feel? It's not a big deal in your life right? I have never dumped so I don't know.

As for the dumpee or the person who suffered the end of a relationship, especially a serious one, well their lives are nearly ruined.

I could never ever dump someone. I would at the very MINIMUM stay close friends with them unless THEY felt like it was just too hard to be friends without the romantic connection. I would never crush someone's heart. Ever.

[asthmaticeog]

1. self-delete

never mind, I don't want to hang around long enough to have this discussion, so I won't get into it.

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Hell no! Not for me at least...

All of my breakups have been from people I've truly loved, but couldn't be with anymore, for various reasons. One was downright the most horribly painful thing I have *ever* done.

Why would you just string someone out like that? Imho, that's worse than dumping them, bigtime.

[Tropics_Dude83]

5. I'm just having....

a really really difficult time today. Needless to say, I'm writing because I was dumped. I was dumped with NO emotion, no tears, no care. Just an uncaring steak through the heart. I bet that any one of the people who post here when they dumped someone did it with at least a shred of caring for the other person's feelings. Not me.

I have bad days like these every once in a while still but this is a really painful day:(

[bicentennial_baby]

6. Understood...

:hug:

Sometimes I think one of my EXes feels like you are right now, that I had no emotion, etc. I cried for weeks and then off and on over months about it. We're still working on being friends, it's a tough road, but we're working on it.

Hang in there, ok? :)

[Tropics_Dude83]

8. Thanks

I think it's especially hard for me because I don't have that many friends and also I was born with a congenital issue that contorts my face a little and influences the way I talk. Fortunately, I'm smart and it didn't affect my intelligence or physical abilities but it makes me stand out a bit. So, when I found this girl, she was the only person in my life who truly seemed to look past that where so many others had rejected me. I tried a couple online dating sites a few months after we broke up. No one accepts my buddy invitations or replies to my e-mails. This girl was unique and I lost her. That makes it hard. It'll be almost impossible to find another.

[RadiationTherapy]

14. I have been dumped so many times; I know it hurts, but you have to be honest.

Someone who walks away so easy was itchin to go and glad to leave.

Laugh at yourself! Look around and find what you have missed or how you deluded yourself.

Be glad they are gone, because your love was one sided; imbalanced love can't last.

[supernova]

3. It's almost never easy. It is necessary though.

Unless you just enjoy pain and trauma of the unhealthy variety.

I dumped a nine year marriage because it was good for my mental health. It was a matter of survival, frankly.

And sometimes the problems are so big, it's not possible to be on-going friends. You really do need a cooling off period.

edit: I have also been the dumpee. It's not fun; but after a while I realized that person did me a favor. I realized he was the shallow one, not me. Every time you date and break up with someone; that only gets you closer to someone who is right for you.

[Connonym]

4. I've never found it to be easy

Even when the "dumpee" is acting like an asshole and deserves to be dumped it's still hard to end a relationship. I think it would take a remarkably cold person to be able to break something off and not feel anything. My preference, in either being the dumped or the dumpee is to attempt to remain friends but sometimes it's just too painful and it's easier to just make an abrupt cut.

[Tropics_Dude83]

7. And my ex did to me what her last boyfriend did to her!

In the beginning, she told me that she was with someone who was just using her for her money, for her friends. My ex turns around and does exactly the same thing to me! Took what she could get and then ran! I found out the day we broke up that she had a son and ANOTHER boyfriend!!!

[suninvited]

9. I have dumped

not for the fun of it, but because I see red flags that I cant get over. I dump way before it gets serious, although I dumped once on a marraige proposal because I had discovered the guy was a bigot, which somehow had escaped me early on.

It didn't feel good, ever. But, I saw what needed to be done and I did it.

No sugar coating for me, but I can be a bit blunt at times. I really dont even date anymore because of it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. I have been the dumper. I have been the dump-ee. You are

right....it is easier to be the dumper.

[SPKrazy]

11. No, it isn't easy

unless you have no feelings for them in the first place.

It depends on the nature of the relationship.

If it is two people who love or once loved each other, or still love each other but can't live with each other or whatever, hell no it isn't easy.

[RadiationTherapy]

12. You are SO gonna crush someone's heart.

I mean, you said never never ever; it's bound to happen now!

Honestly, sometimes it is better for both parties to just stop communicating. I know it seems hard, but it is the best option sometimes.

[XemaSab]

13. I have dumped someone and felt really bad about it

It had to happen, we had no future together, but it was still pretty rough. :(

[Firespirit]

15. I think your situation is probably more common than not

:(

Every person I've known who was dumped reported a similar experience... coldness and callousness from the person who did it. I don't have any personal experience with it -- I've never been dumped before -- but I have been the one ending things once. While it was an... unusual... situation, and one I'm not inclined to discuss on DU for fear of enraging 99 percent of the board, I am sorry to say that I was also quite cold when I ended the relationship.

I think that approximately half the human race is simply that kind of person. Not necessarily malicious, but they just don't fully grasp how it affects someone else.

[LadyoftheRabbits]

16. I've only ever been dumped...

So I really wouldn't know. Seems like they move on pretty quickly.

[DarkTirade]

17. I'm a little too patient

so for me it's always either been dumpee or mutual breakup.

[LynzM]

18. Um, no?

I can't decide if your post is meant to be satire or not. It's certainly not easy to decide to end a close relationship, especially if you've shared a good portion of your life with someone. Even if you know it's what you want in the long run, it's not easy at the time. Sometimes you grieve the good parts of a relationship for a long time (like years), even while knowing that it would not have been good for you to stay in that relationship.