Why would you make a good Star Trek Captain?

[Pierre.Suave]

And what kind of ship would you like to "captain?"

me, I would like to captain a ship that was built to fight, powerful, fast and well armed, small, and had all the latest high tech stuff to sneak around, but fight well when it had to.

Why? Because that ship would get some awesome assignments and I like challenges.

Why would I make a good Captain? I am smart, fair, think well on my feet, am not scared easily, and am not afraid of aliens or a fight. I would also have a lot of Marines on my ship.

[Habibi]

1. Oh, I'd suck as a captain.

But a yeoman? I'd rock.

[Pierre.Suave]

2. Sweet

do you want to be my Yeoman on the coolest vessel in the universe?

[Habibi]

Oh, dude. I'm no man's yeoman.

:P

[Pierre.Suave]

12. I guess you can be your own yeoman then

...

[cloudbase]

3. Bow before the power of the chief engineer.

Should the exalted chief desire, systems can be disabled so that everybody lives in the dark and defecates in buckets.

Captains are wusses and unfit to wipe the behinds of the third assistant engineers.

[Pierre.Suave]

4. You know

if you are a good chief engineer, I will let you be my chief engineer on the coolest vessel in the universe.

[cloudbase]

7. I am already a chief engineer

in the merchant marine.

Believe it or not, my (first) name is Scott. Good luck with your ship.

[many a good man]

5. Because I'd be ready to go on Day One

That's the most important day, you know. No promises on day two.

[Pierre.Suave]

6. LOL

hit the ground running, thats what I say.

[many a good man]

9. Hitting ground not good for a captain

on day one or any other day. I will assign an expendable yeoman to take out the shuttlecraft for that type of thing.

[graywarrior]

8. But would you appease?

[many a good man]

10. Just long enough to steal their cloaking device

I certainly wouldn't give away any planets or nothin'. No harm in just talking.

[graywarrior]

11. Just don't appear weak.

But being liberators to alien planets will gain you, er....probably nothing

[Bullwinkle925]

13. because i'd look damn good in that dress uniform. . .

[Pierre.Suave]

14. Thats as good a reason as any.

You should find a good tailor too.

[pokerfan]

15. I want to be the insane captain

from the Doomsday Machine.

[Pierre.Suave]

19. HAHA

Any reason why?

[pokerfan]

30. He was a hero

Showed Kirk how to destroy to machine.

Kirk had already tried talking it to death but that proved fruitless. He was trying to figure out how to have sex with it when Decker saved the day.

[Pierre.Suave]

41. Thanks for the laugh

Kirk would hit anything that would let him I think.

[DarkTirade]

16. I probably wouldn't do well with the responsibility of a big ship,

but on a little one like the one you described I'd do well in command.

[Pierre.Suave]

17. I am thinking small like

Voyager size.

[DarkTirade]

20. Yes, but I'd make sure that if they made a show about me...

it wouldn't SUCK. :P

[Pierre.Suave]

21. Personally

I do not like star trek, but I thought this would be an interesting thread anyway.

[DarkTirade]

35. I'm not a fan, but all the other series I was at least able to get into a little.

Just not Voyager. There was something about it that just made it hard for me to slog through. I really didn't like it. :shrug:

[JTG of the PRB]

18. Becuase I know when to follow the rules, and when to break them.

Plus, I'm pretty sure I'd look awesome in one of those Starfleet uniforms.

[Pierre.Suave]

22. Looking good in the uniform...

is one of the requirements!

[JTG of the PRB]

23. You know, instead of being captain, I think I'd rather apply for the position of first officer.

I know the rules, and I know my place in the chain of command, but I know when to offer my advice and even challenge your opinions about various courses of action. Seeing as though it doesn't look like first officer has been spoken for, I guess I call dibs!

[Pierre.Suave]

31. I dont know...

I am a twins fan, are you sure you can put up with me?

:rofl:

[JTG of the PRB]

39. Sir, as your first officer, I will put up with whatever you need me to put up with.

Just as long as you don't stop me from rooting for the Rockies! :P

[Pierre.Suave]

40. I would always let you root for them

just so I could raz you when they lost...

:rofl:

[BlueIris]

24. I'd be the female version of Riker, that's why.

Smart, but personable, not interested in smacking people around so much as making the right calls, and always favoring the best for all concerned. Also, I'm hot.

[zingaro]

26. But would you always walk around

with your head cocked to one side like he did? :)

[BlueIris]

27. You shut up! Riker was AWESOME.

And this is coming from a huuuuuge Picard fan.

[zingaro]

29. hee he was awesome.

I loved JeanLuc too. "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." sort of get you melty, doesn't it, just to think about it?

But come on. As much as I dug Number One, he did so stride purposefully through life with his head cocked over to one side. Kind of like Horatio on CSI :rofl:

[BlueIris]

34. Sacrilege!! Comparing Riker to Ho Caine is like

comparing Grey Goose to Diet Sprite.

[zingaro]

37. ok fair enough.

And Emily Proctor's got nothing on Gates McFadden either.

You're right. Unfair comparison. :)

*whispers* but he still does have that tilty head thing going on.

[zingaro]

25. Because I, like the good Captain Kirk, don't believe in no-win scenarios.

And I'd be totally OK with reprogramming the Kobayashi Maru sim.

I'd want a sleek small ship with primarily diplomatic missions because I'm a lover, not a fighter. I can nearly always find a way to make everybody think they got what they wanted in any given situation. And just think of all that alien lurrrrrrrrve.

Oh yes. Captain me up, baby.

[Pierre.Suave]

33. A Diplomatic ship it is then

I wish you luck. because I really do NOT like being shot at.

[zingaro]

36. Thank you. My diplomatic creed will be etched into the hull:

When you're good, everybody loves you. And when you're bad? At least it'll be over quickly. :rofl:

Story of my life right there. :)

[Pierre.Suave]

38. You let them know

that I have no mercy once the shooting starts.

LOL!

[harmonicon]

28. I would be an awesome captain.

Why? Because I basically don't give a damn what other people do, while at the same time (as my girlfriend constantly points out), I love to obey the rules.

I wouldn't really care what kind of ship I captained as long as I could smoke on it.

[Pierre.Suave]

32. You can captain the cigarette delivery ship

I am SURE you can smoke on that one.

[harmonicon]

42. that sounds perfect

I often think about becoming a trucker, because I like driving cross country. I'm just afraid of driving a big rig, because they're so damn big, and because I've seen enough accidents involving them when I'm driving. However, I think *captain* of an intergalactic big rig would be perfect for me.

[DarkTirade]

44. Just smoke in an airlock, then flush it once you go back inside.

Only smoke that makes it through is whatever's lingering on your clothes. :)

[Pierre.Suave]

46. Just make sure to hold on to something

when purging the airlock...

[DarkTirade]

48. I reiterate... then flush it once you go back inside.

:P

[harmonicon]

53. no way

There's going to be an ashtray on the arm of the captain's chair.

[DarkTirade]

54. It's good to be the captain.

:)

[DarkTirade]

43. Oh, and as someone geeky enough to have read some of the 'technical manuals' for Star Trek...

I just have to point something out.

Phaser beams are supposed to move at lightspeed.

Warp fields change the laws of physics a bit, making that 'fastest speed possible' higher, so inside a warp field I can see the justification for making a phaser beam move relative to the ship.

But what about when the phaser goes outside the warp field?

Seriously, if you plotted a perfectly straight course and fired your phaser dead ahead while at low warp, you could build up a HUGE amount of destructive energy riding at lightspeed right in front of your ship. Because the moment it went outside the warp field it would drop down to lightspeed and fall back inside the field, going back up to the faster-than-light speed, then back down to lightspeed, ect.

If you could aim it properly, that'd be the Picard Manuever from hell. Do it on and off for a few days while travelling towards a planet and you might even get a Death Star planet cracker affect. :P

[Pierre.Suave]

45. you can go ahead and try that...

Far away from my ship. Just incase there is a huge explosion that destroys your ship and all others near you.

[DarkTirade]

47. The only way to screw it up

would be to somehow lose control and go around the beam, and then end up directly in front of it somehow without it running into the warp field while you were spinning out of control. :P Any other scenario where something goes wrong would probably involve the ship dropping out of warp and the concentrated phaser beam speeding on ahead of it, or the ship just going off course and having the beam spread a bit.

I actually thought it up when I was toying with making my own RPG universe, and one of the RPGs set in it would be a space-flight era one. But since they used hyperspace rather than some form of warp for FTL travel in my universe, that didn't end up working for it.

I did come up with a nifty idea involving transferring momentum of a ship going a reasonable fraction of lightspeed into what was basically a focused tractor beam. Slowed the ship down nicely, and blew a hole in whatever it was pointed at. :P Which was handy because in that universe ships come out of hyperspace pretty fast.

But I decided that despite the difficulty in aiming such a thing (you have to be close enough to aim properly, but far enough away to jump into hyperspace and back out again without flying past your target.), it was too powerful. So I just had it show up once as the invention of a mad scientist type character, and nobody else ever figured out how to get something like that to work. Too much high-energy application needed to distribute the kinetic force evenly across the entire ship so that the tractor beam projector didn't just tear itself right off the ship with the force of the kinetic transfer.

... yeah, I think about weird shit like that waaaaay too much.

[DarkTirade]

49. Although I would love to see the report after an incident like that.

The ship limps back to Starfleet for repairs... "So how did you recieve this damage on your aft?" "Well sir... we ran into our own phaser beam." "... you shot yourself in the aft?"

[Pierre.Suave]

50. try living that one down

in the starfleet locker room...

Co-Ed of course so I can have hot steamy showers with the counselor...:P

[DarkTirade]

51. You say that now...

but wait until Starfleet decides to be funny and assign you a Tellerite counselor.

[Pierre.Suave]

58. In that case

I would bring along my own personal "counselor"

:P

[pfitz59]

52. Exploration vessel..

I've been a captain of a fleet vessel!
I wanna screw the green chick!

[DarkTirade]

55. You say that now...

but wait until you end up with some weird alien venerial disease.

[Orsino]

56. Because I wouldn't try to seduce or punch out aliens.

I would treat them with respect, and strictly follow Starfleet protocols for away teams. Fridays? Casual dress.

[NewJeffCT]

57. Because, like Captain Kirk

I have the urge to spread goodwill on behalf of the Federation by sleeping with every female that I can see, no matter their race or skin color.

[Hobarticus]

59. Because I phaser first, and ask questions later...

Let the Federation sort 'em out.

[Pierre.Suave]

65. OK...

you will from her forward be called Captain Innocent. Named of course after Pope Innocent, who coined that phrase...

[Parche]

60. USS Yorktown

I would have Barenakedlady as my first officer

:woohoo: :hi:

[Bucky]

61. I would you look like this

[Pierre.Suave]

64. Say again?

[GreenPartyVoter]

62. I'd rather be ship's counselor or maybe woork in sick bay.

[Pierre.Suave]

63. We always need those.

Welcome.

[GreenPartyVoter]

67. Cool, but just FYI, I'm not wearing a skant on away missions to cold planets.

[Beer Snob-50]

66. I have low standards

and would have sex with just about any alien that came aboard my starship...

i also look damn good in a tight federation uniform

[Bucky]

68. Captain Mary Sue Doe-Nymm of the USS Slash-Fanfic

My ship would got from planet to planet, but instead of discovering new life and new civilizations, we'd just hook up with other crew members based on who most appeals to our fanbase that season.

[DarkTirade]

70. Highest rated Star Trek series ever!

:P

[datasuspect]

69. i have the hairline and bearing for it.