I FUCKING HATE MS WORD

[alarimer]

I am supposed to format the tables in my thesis the way a scientific journal would (a specific one) but I can't figure out how WORD fucking does certain things. Like place a LINE (not a hyphen, not a double hyphen) between the table or figure number and the beginnind of the title. In addition the guide to authors for this particular journal is not specific as to actual formatting. I have an example paper but I have no idea what the font is, how big it is or anything like.

I have to get this stupid fucking thesis in to my professor right now because I have to turn it in less than 2 weeks. I fucking hate this shit.

[SoxFan]

1. Ahh, yes

Been there.

Word also sucks at legal cites. WordPerfect is much better when it comes to formatting citations in a manner that conforms to Blue Book/Maroon Book/court standards. Unfortunately, law schools are the only institutions that still use WordPerfect.

[HamdenRice]

2. WordPerfect still rocks!

Can't you write it in WordPerfect? It has always been the better program, but so-called network efficiencies (ie, Microsoft predatory behavior) caused the worse product to triumph.

You can always write in WordPerfect and then convert to Word. WP's conversion program is excellent.

[alarimer]

3. No. My professors all use Word

I just can't figure this out. Can anybody tell me how to insert a line (or dash I guess)?

[yewberry]

4. What do you mean by a line?

Are you looking for an en dash, an em dash, or an actual line?

In my version of Word:

en dash command + numpad-
em dash command + option + numpad-


(Or you can just go to 'insert symbol' 'special characters.')

For an actual line, from a drawing toolbar, click on the line and draw as needed. You can drag it around if you need to.

[alarimer]

10. An em dash

It turns out you use ALT plus 0151 on the keypad. BUT those instructions do not match what WORD help says to do, which didn't actually work for me.

[yewberry]

12. Sorry I couldn't help.

Our versions may be pretty different--if I type your series in Word X (Mac), I get º1∞1.

Funny.

[DarkTirade]

5. It would be really nice if you could just hit a button in Word that would TURN OFF

all the options and weird little quirks that we don't want, that way we could just format the goddamned thing ourselves.

[Orrex]

6. You can try Tools/Options/Autoformat

That gives you a pretty broad range of customizations to choose from. For instance, you can turn off "smart quotes" and the like.

[DarkTirade]

7. Right, but I'm talkin' about ONE button that turns ALL those off.

Instead of going up there and clicking on every single little check box.

Not to mention turning off various other features that are just built in that you can't change.

[Orrex]

8. Oh, that. Well, try this:

Retrieve a ten pound sledgehammer, and apply it to your CPU with considerable but not excessive force.

[DarkTirade]

14. But I don't have a ten pound sledgehammer...

smallest one in the house is 15. :shrug:

[Orrex]

23. Sigh. I guess that'll have to do

Just remember not to use too much force. You don't want to damage the hammer.

[DarkTirade]

24. Good point. Especially 'cause it doesn't belong to me.

Not that my grandpa can even lift it anymore, but still.

[alarimer]

11. I tried using that.

It had the appropriate box clicked to turn a double hyphen into an em dash. But it wasn't working so I used the keyboard shortcut instead (ALT 0151)

[graywarrior]

9. Tell me about it.

:grr:

[DS1]

13. Once you get the hang of it, drawing lines and tables is pretty easy

THe problem is, word processors aren't supposed to be doing lines and tables, so it'll never be as good as it should be.

[truedelphi]

15. If you can get someone you know to through the whole thesis into PageMaker

(The new version of it is called "InDesign") you'll be okay.

MS Word is good for things like a four or five page paper. It sucks when you are trying to compose anything of length. Like a novel, where you have chapters, with blank unnumbered pages in between.

Or as you say a thesis.

[truedelphi]

16. OH I forgot, there is also this internet WORD help group

You can register for it. Once part of the group, you can ask questions.

It is at
[e-mail]

The two leaders like a lot of praise and don't do what I did - refrain from starting off by saying how much MS Word sucks. They really like MS Word. And they won't help as much if you don't like it too.
Make sure you include what version of MS Word you are using when you query.
I haven't been there in some time but back when I had to put long manuscripts into MS Word, I found them able to answer almost any question.

[alarimer]

19. I'll look into that

I'll try to refrain from saying how much I hate it. Although apparently Office 2003 is better than Office 2007! They changed a bunch of things and it was so bad, one of the professors I was speaking to had them remove 2007 from all of the public computers.

[applegrove]

17. To bad I couldn't do it for you. Wish I was there.

[pokerfan]

18. Annoying, ain't it?

Instead of focusing on the subject of your thesis you're struggling with a god-damned word processor.

I can't any suggestions except that I do a lot of spreadsheet work and that the Excell for Dummies really helped me. Might want to see if a local bookstore has the Word version and if it answers your question.

[alarimer]

20. Earlier I was trying to page numbers for a couple of landscape pages.

The trick was that when printed, the page numbers had to be on the top right. That means that on the computer, the page number has to be in the bottom right and turned 90 degrees so that they will display correctly. I ended up using a text box and guessing where they needed to be to look okay.

[pokerfan]

21. I have no help for you

My work is fairly loose on standards and conventions. I guess they would rather have their engineers doing actual engineering than fighting with office applications.

[AmyDeLune]

22. Open Office

http://www.openoffice.org/
OpenOffice.org 2 is the leading open-source office software suite for word processing, spreadsheets, presentations, graphics, databases and more. It is available in many languages and works on all common computers. It stores all your data in an international open standard format and can also read and write files from other common office software packages. It can be downloaded and used completely free of charge for any purpose.

I haven't used it extensively, but it is very easy to use and import/export stuff to. I have computer geek/genius friends who swear by it (not at it).

[Ramsey]

25. Autoformat totally sucks!

I spend more time telling Word to undo the dumbass autoformat functions than anything else!