Music Stores SUCK!!!

[Symarip]

So... I've been toying with the idea about upgrading in the mancannon department and scoring a new trombone. I've done my research and narrowed it down to 2 or 3 models. The King 2b and 3b models top the list. These have been the preferred models for lead players for 50 years or so. There's also a Conn model I'm interested in and possibly another Yamaha supposedly a notch better than the early 80s pro series I play on now.

But guess fucking what? There's no where to try out any of these models because NOT ONE FUCKING MUSIC STORE CARRIES THESE GODDAMNED INSTRUMENTS. I drove around all day in the greater DC area to supposed music stores all filled with lametarded guitars. Not one carried anything better than a student model. Most said they can order one for me if I feel like forking over the full retail price. Thanks, assholes. I'm sure I can find a girlfriend the same way through a Russian website.

This is complete bullshit. No wonder why kids don't want to play music. 20 years ago, when I walked into a music store they had EVERYTHING from a tin whistle to a tuba. Now? Ha! Good fucking luck. Couple that with most schools closing down 'costly' programs like music and you have the formula for a dull society.

Which parlays well into my next point: fuck football. Football is a mindless sport filled with steroid pumping jocks. The only reason football never gets cut from highschool programs is because it makes schools tons of cash. The same schools who have no problem destroying the fine arts.

Good job, America.

[SteppingRazor]

1. Symarip, there's this thing called the Internet, where you can buy stuff without ever leaving home!

I know, I know. Hard to believe.

Oh, and I love football. That said, cutting arts programs turns kids into soulless automatons.

[Symarip]

3. Next time you buy a car

Don't bother test driving it. Just order it from the manufactors website.

[SteppingRazor]

6. They've also got these great return policies on the Web, what with the sight-unseen thing.

n/t

[Mopar151]

23. Echo that part about the kids

Any skill that you can teach a child will help them for life, and anything that they can be proud of - a skill, a talent, a calling, a desire - makes them a more useful and valuable person. And I'm talking in raw, microeconomic terms - I had hiring responsibility for machinists, electricans, and assemblers for 5 years, and I desperately wanted people who had interests beyond beer and TV. They are more trainable, and more engaged in the world. And, at least in the skilled trades, the synergies, they're good.....

[Pierre.Suave]

2. boy oh boy...

when you said "mancannon" I had no idea you were talking about an actual musical instrument because I was extremely confused about why you would go there to upgrade your "mancannon"

:P

[TheMightyFavog]

4. When I think Conn, I think of this little gem...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6076941100462957931

[Symarip]

5. I'm busy writing a letter to Jody Foster

Yes, I know Mr. B Natural all too well.

[Mopar151]

7. Calm down, they've all moved

To somebody's porch in Oscaloosa. Look on E-Bay, or there's gotta be a specialist musician's board.
Once you find the big playa's in your kind of horn, you might have to take a little trip - but you'll hook up with folks who really care about what you're into.

Me, I'm into cars. Several of my friends have bought cars online, with good results, and lots of parts, too. And my friends get thrown out of parts stores 'cuz the stuff they ask for is too wierd! (They used to carry more stuff too. But the guy who knew how to look it up died.)Do horn players have a swap meet somewhere? These are an excellent place to hook up with specialist dealers.

And I know this works for musicians, too, 'cuz i dropped my friend's accordion off at a full service, full time, big showroom accordion shop - in Gilmanton, NH.

[Symarip]

8. Snark and faux-anger aside

There are two problems with buying instruments a la the interwebs.

First, most instruments are not dated like a car is. Some of these models have been around for 60+ years. Often, some years of manufactoring are better than others. Some companies have kept good records of serial numbers, others have not. Imagine buying a Mustang but now knowing if it's a 1966 or a 1986. Big difference, right? Additionally, most folks selling instruments on ebay are not musicians themselves. With trombone, having the main slide operational and unharmed is essential. The sellers will often tug on it, and if it moves, hey, it's in working condition.

Secondly, just because an instrument is highly regarded doesn't mean it's right for the individual player. Most pro's will tell you, do not buy an instrument sight-unseen. You have to find an instrument that matches the player, and not the other way around. The best way to rule which is better than which is to actually have a few models in front of you. Apparently, the days of being able to make such a big decision are over.

[redqueen]

13. So I guess you're supposed to just buy them all online at the same time.

Then try them out, and then return the ones you don't want.

[Symarip]

16. Sounds like a plan.

Can I borrow your credit card. Don't worry. I'm sure the return policy is completely hassle free.

[redqueen]

19. Sorry...

I got no credit. Or... my credit is bad.

That's the hard truth of it. Whatever instrument my daughter pics, I get to rent-to-own. Huzzah!

[Mopar151]

18. Well, you might have to trust someone

and/or do a little homework. That's why I reccomended a specialist dealer, not some guy who put uncle joe's old horn on Craigslist.
If you can'tell a '66 from an '86, why are you even buying a mustang? Cars on the enthusiast scale are all about provenance and condition, and many cars have no VIN at all, or are composities of several cars.

Beleive me - if you find the right people, this will work out for you, and you'll be glad you put in the time. I've ended up using the best transmission and cylinder head shops in the country 'cuz the local strokels had no clue what I was asking for , or how to get it. And the prices are reasonable, and they are nice to deal with.

[MrCoffee]

9. 22 King dealers in Maryland, if that helps

http://www.conn-selmer.com/dealerlocator/dealers_results.php?code=King&country=US&stprov=MD

39 in Virginia

http://www.conn-selmer.com/dealerlocator/dealers_results.php?code=King&country=US&stprov=VA

[Symarip]

10. AH HA!

LIES!!! They can order the instruments. They don't carry the actual products.

[MrCoffee]

11. Bastards

I'm all out of helpful suggestions.

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. And don't forget the need for so many music store "clerks" to treat you like a war criminal

for not knowing something, needing to ask a question, or being unsure what anything is or how it works, or even just having the audacity to ask for help.

[Symarip]

14. I love music store clerks

Especially when you tell them you're into something they're not.

"Ohhhh you like playing ska and reggae. Yeah, like, I don't know anything about that. That's cool, I guess...'

Sorry, asshole, not everyone wants to play Led Zeppelin and end up with a kickass job selling strings at Music Express.

[Rabrrrrrr]

"If I keep acting surly and pretentious about my mad phat shredding skillz,

maybe next year I can move up to selling bass strings! That'll show all those fucks who come in here and don't know that the model number of the (obscure fuzz-wah pedal) changed this morning or don't know the difference between (names six guitar amps that all came out yesterday). What the hell kind of musicians are they? They should be like me, totally awesome, working in this music store, renting violins to doctor's kids and talking total trash with the other shredders and thrashers that work here because we're such fucking awesome musicians".

[SacredCow]

15. That DOES call to mind some suckage....

I seem to recall from my band/orchestra days- one of the instructors was a pretty accomplished jazz trumpet player, and he said that he literally played dozens of the same exact model trumpet before he found the one that was "right." And now, you're just expected to take the one they ship you and STFU....

[gbate]

17. Sent you a message.

.

[mikeytherat]

20. Which Conn and Yamaha models interest you? I can call the local brass shop

and see what's in stock.

mikey_the_rat

[Symarip]

21. Yamaha YSL 691

The Conn I'm looking to get would be a used Super - Fullerton model. Again, I just want to try these puppies out. I got a PM from an angel and I think I found a place up in Baltimore that has the King models I'm looking to try.

[mikeytherat]

22. I'm down here in Richmond, but I'll give 'em a call and see what up.

mikey_the_rat

[Fire Walk With Me]

24. This sounds like a job for Mr. B Natural.

[taterguy]

25. I"m almost positive that the majority of high school football programs lose money

It's a very expensive sport.

Hell, most college football programs lose money.

But, and not to sound too tin-foilish, football does teach obedience and willingness to use violence to further the goals of others, in a controlled fashion.

Helps with Empire building.

The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.