Is it just me or is this greed?

[Pacifist Patriot]

The Bridal / Baby Shower

When I was married, the only people invited to my bridal shower were people I was close to emotionally and lived near enough to possibly even attend the party. Same thing for my baby shower.

Every single one of my cousins (I'm a good decade older than the next oldest cousin) sends me bridal and baby shower invitations. I live 600 miles away. I see them maybe once a year when I cannot avoid the Thanksgiving reunion. I would never know the party came and went without me, nor would I care.

I just received an invitation to a bridal shower for the bride of a cousin who was born when I was already off at college. I have seen him maybe 10 times in his 22 years. His parents have already told me they consider me one step above the devil incarnate because of my religious beliefs.

AAGHHH!

Why the heck would you invite someone to a party you know they cannot attend anyway unless it's a shameless plea for another gift?

[MrCoffee]

1. You're describing either a shameless plea for another gift or

they're just keeping you abreast of what's going on in their lives.

Either way, you shouldn't feel bad about stiffing them.

[Pacifist Patriot]

3. Can't be the latter. I'm usually the last to know anything about the family.

[petronius]

2. That's pretty greedy. Also, wouldn't it be friends/relatives of the bride

who get invited to the shower, as opposed to distant (spatially and emotionally) relatives of the groom? :shrug:

[Pacifist Patriot]

6. That's generally how I've always understood it. I am more than willing to...

adapt to new traditions (and why should the bride's friends/family bear the financial brunt) but confess I'm a wee bit conservative when it comes to etiquette. I've always been of the school that friends host showers, not family members. Changing times, I get it. I'm not a complete fuddy duddy.

[KitchenWitch]

4. Definitely greed.

[LeftyMom]

5. Send a note wishing them the best of luck.

If you want to send a small gift, I suggest a nicely wrapped guide to etiquette, as it is apparently needed.

Sending invitations to people who have no reason to attend is shameless gift whoring.

[Pacifist Patriot]

7. LOL! I like your style.

[redqueen]

8. I wouldn't assume it's greed...

I would chalk it up to them not wanting to leave you out, or just letting you know about it in case you had old baby stuff to donate.

[Pacifist Patriot]

9. The irony of the situation is if they are casting this wide a net they probably will...

leave someone out who might get their nose bent out of joint.

Nah, it's not wanting to leave me out. The only things I ever get invited to by my extended relatives involve me bringing a gift.

My having old baby stuff. :rofl:

[redqueen]

11. Well I dunno... maybe you did!

:P

And see la lioness's response below... if it were me I'd be expected to send invitations to every releative or it'd be considered a slight... so that's the perspective I'm seeing it from.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. depends on the culture. i would be expected to invite people who i know wouldnt come

because it would be otherwise rude. however people who dont come dont bring gifts and we dont register for these things anyway

[Pacifist Patriot]

12. I think one of the funniest things about the invitation was the list of seven shops ...

where they are registered. Goodness, who has time to go to seven shops and register?

[JitterbugPerfume]

13. in my family we say

NO GIFTS with the invite . It really rubs me wrong when people expect a gift .

A gift is something that is freely given , not something you are blackmailed into giving.