I'm writing a science fiction novel.....

[arbusto_baboso]

And in it, space aliens touch down in Belgium and demand a million cheeseburgers or they will blow up Earth.

Think it has a chance at being published?

[EastTennesseeDem]

1. If Stephanie Meyer can get published, we all have a chance.

Hell, I'd read it.

[arbusto_baboso]

6. Gah! Don't get me started on her drek!

How can you write a de-sexualized vampire story when part and parcel of the whole *subtext* of vampires is the sexual angle?

Only a mormon....

[Mythsaje]

8. There's a whole bunch of sexualized vampire shit out there...

Some of us like to write and read something that doesn't involve fucking the undead.

[arbusto_baboso]

14. Then you might want to stay away from watching Girls Next Door.

That whole show is about women who fuck the undead.

Geez, you've got your knickers in a twist over the criticism of Twilight. Someone insult your favorite "book" series?

[Mythsaje]

22. No... I recognize a lot of such criticism as what it is... envy.

Especially from would-be or failed authors. "How could she have...?"

Because she did what we're all supposed to do--capture peoples' imagination. And in so doing got a whole bunch of people to read who never would have otherwise.

Get over it.

On edit: My favorite is probably Anne Bishop's "Black Jewels" series, with Sharon Shinn's "12 Houses" coming a close second. After my own, that is.

[arbusto_baboso]

25. Now YOU are laboring under a false impression.

I am already a published author. My genres are never going to make me wealthy, which is fine by me. (I was joking about writing science fiction; and by the way, the Twilight series are FANTASY, as any loyal SF reader will tell you.)

Her writing is crap. Period. I don't care if she's made vast tubs of money from it. Monetray success does not equal quality and you know it. All you have to do to verify that statement is watch network television sitcoms every weeknight.

If you want to defend an overcommercialized author of kiddie books, at least pick a target that's partially worthy of defense, like JK Rowling.

[Mythsaje]

28. Monetray? I take it you really work your editors hard.

I'm published too. Fantasy. And yes, I know the difference between SF and fantasy. Even though I myself cross that line at will.

My wife (an editor) actually enjoyed them as much as I did. So did my 15 y.o. SON. Maybe he's just a pansy, eh?

So, yeah, opinions vary. Yours are no more valid than anyone else's.

[arbusto_baboso]

31. Oh, so now you do the Spelling Nazi bit.

Just take a look back at your own posts, and the dubious grammar and structure within them.

I can get just as petty as you.

[Mythsaje]

35. I don't worry about sentence structure on a message board...

Not paying attention to spelling is how one identifies a freeper.

[arbusto_baboso]

37. Yes. But not paying attention to how many "misspellings" can be explained by simple typos...

Now THAT is arrogant.

So, now it's just a pissing match and dick-measuring contest. Is this what you wanted? Are you happy now?

[Mythsaje]

7. Yeah, because no publisher in his/her right mind would EVER want to make

as much money as Meyer made for them.

That would be crazy.

[arbusto_baboso]

10. So, making money trumps publishing decent books?

Damn, you sound like a Republican.

[Mythsaje]

19. I liked them

so you're arguing a pointless dichotomy. It's not "publish decent books" or "make money" but both at once.

[arbusto_baboso]

21. I strongly disagree that they are "decent books".

I couldn't get more than 20 pages into one before throwing it at a wall in disgust.

But then, I'm not a teenage girl, either.

[Mythsaje]

23. Neither am I...

And I disagree. Literature, like music, is a matter of taste. No taste is universal, and anyone who thinks THEIR taste should trump others is little better than a pedantic asshole.

[arbusto_baboso]

26. Wow, you take an offhand comment by one poster, and my reply, and turn this thread into an argument

over the merits of a truly insignificant books series and YOU call ME a pedantic asshole?


Amazing.

But, whatever you have to do to sleep at night...

[Mythsaje]

30. Hardly insignificant, considering how many people read them...

They will, whether you like it or not, heavily influence another generation of writers.

[arbusto_baboso]

32. Oh, please, go right on thinking that.

:rofl:

[Mythsaje]

34. Arrogant fuck, aren't you? n/t

[arbusto_baboso]

36. Again, that's really rich for YOU to be saying!

Your problem with me isn't that I'm making judgements. It's that I'm making judgements about something YOU like.

If that makes me arrogant, so be it.

I'm curious about the name(s) you write under though. I will want to make sure I never accidentally read any of your works.

[Chan790]

38. Meyer is merely the latest in the long degradation of popular literature...

before we could have Steph Meyer, we had to have J.K. Rowling. It's Rowling who convinced people that any moron can write a book and become a billionaire overnight.

So help me Loungers, if I ever finish my book and you hear even a rumor they want to cast Robert Pattinson for any role in the film adaptation, shoot me. Its the best sign going that you're a hack as a novelist.

[TZ]

2. Actually

It sounds like a great screenplay for a SyFy movie of the week..:rofl:

[arbusto_baboso]

3. It would probably be too big budget for SyFy.

They like stuff campier, and with chessy effects. :think:

[Fire Walk With Me]

9. You'd have to throw in piranhas with legs or something to get on the Sci-Fi channel.

[arbusto_baboso]

11. I can do that!

[Fire Walk With Me]

13. Add in an unstable nuclear power station and you're in the money!

[arbusto_baboso]

15. Yes, yes. And I'll throw in some major dams about ready to burst, too.

[PVnRT]

4. Why Belgium?

[arbusto_baboso]

5. Why not Belgium?

Most classic sci fi tends to target the US or the UK. I thought I'd put a smaller, more abscure country right in the alien cross-hairs.

Besides, I think the aliens would also steal all the wonderful Belgian beer that they could, too, especially if they were trying to extort burgers...

[bif]

12. How about a million tons of fries? (Pommes Frites)

They make just about the best fries on the planet in Belgium!

[arbusto_baboso]

17. True. But the Belgians could meet that demand too easily.

It would dull the dramatic tension of the piece.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

40. 1 ton of fries per burger?

That's a pretty big fries:burger ratio.

[rug]

16. Your premise is flawed. Belgium was created by aliens. They are patiently waiting.

[arbusto_baboso]

18. WHA?!?!?!?

Wow. That explains so much. How could I have been so blind? It's all so clear to me now...

[LanternWaste]

20. Get an artist to paint a buxom woman, scantily clad, and holding onto a big "gun"

Get an artist to paint a buxom woman, scantily clad, and holding onto a big "gun" as the cover art. Judging by the home libraries of many of my science-fiction aficionado acquaintances, that's a sure way to get it published and sold by the brazillions...

[Mythsaje]

24. Haha...

Nope. These days it's to have a scantily clad MALE on the cover, preferably wearing naught but a kilt and holding a sword. If you can make him a vampire too, all the better.

[Bucky]

27. The core of science fiction is that it's the literature of ideas.

Since Belgium is well known as the world's only entirely vegetarian nation, then your controversial novel will no doubt make the world wonder, What would it be like if a race of powerful aliens suddenly showed up and asked the one vegetarian nation for a limitless supply of beef? Truly, the sort of question that would haunt all of us.

Of course, aliens being somewhat unfamiliar with Earth's culture, perhaps they could be convinced that cheeseburgers were a food made entirely out of cheese--as the name certainly implies. If that were the case, then aliens landing in Belgium would certainly prove to be fortuitous for the rest of the planet.

Oh, geeze, I haven't given away the surprise ending to your novel have I? If so, my apologies. Allow me to make it up to you by giving you the plot of my current novel in which aliens land in Lithuania and demand they hand over to them the planet's entire supply of marzipan animals, lest they blow up the earth.

[arbusto_baboso]

29. GET OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!

:hi: :rofl:

[DU GrovelBot]

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[rcrush]

39. Why are you always #33?

WTF are you hiding?