What's the point of getting married

[Renew Deal]

Poll question: What's the point of getting married

when there are so many hot girls out there?

[Nikia]

1. Several reasons

Women are not just for you to screw for a while and move onto someone else. Loving someone and sharing your life with that person is a wondersul thing. As my husband pointed out to his popular friend who mostly had one night stands, my husband was still getting laid more than Mr. Stud.

[Bucky]

3. Yeh, but what about the variety, baby?! The VARIETY!!!

Fidelity. Bah, that's for losers!

[IrateCitizen]

21. Ummm... if both parties are into it, there can still be variety...

Of course, it's not for every couple, and it involves the ability of both people to NOT be selfish and rather gain enjoyment from their partner's enjoyment.

(I'm talking about "alternative lifestyles", in case you didn't guess) ;-)

[bearfan454]

24. Damn right Nikia !

check out post # 23.

[Dogmudgeon]

2. Hot girls like married men

If I was married, I'd be laying pipe like an Arab petroleum engineer.

:evilgrin:

--bkl

[ott]

4. You'll understand when you're older/more mature

[cprise]

5. It empowers people to fully take care of each other

Otherwise there are some nasty legal obstacles to taking care of family business.

[VOX]

6. It's a way to publicly honor a particularly soulful relationship...

It takes everything to a higher emotional level -- assuming that the vows are maintained, which half of Amerika can't seem to do.

As for all the "hot girls," a bit of seasoning will put all that into perspective. It's as if you can read a flashing "TROUBLE" sign on their foreheads.

Eventually, and with a spot of luck, you'll meet the person who sets off this internal message: "I can't imagine spending one day of my life without this person."

[JVS]

7. It is helpful to do so in order to establish a stable family

[tkmorris]

8. Here's a hint

Marriage aint got jack-all to do with sex. Oh there is sex, and it helps a great deal if the sex is good, but the MARRIAGE part aint about sex at all.

I was gonna describe what exactly it is about, at least for me, but that won't do you any good. It'll sound like someone describing the surface of Jupiter. You can't know til you go there, that's what it amounts to. I'll tell you this though. If you are still thinking about all the hot girls out there, marriage lies in your future not your present. But you know that already don't you? :)

[SarahB]

9. Health insurance

You can kill two birds with one stone there. Besides, some guys have hot wives.

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Gor love????

;)

[arwalden]

16. Proogreadinf Is Our Friens

And so is the speelchicker.

-- Allen

[CO Liberal]

17. I Got Marryed Gor Love

Actually, the one person who got married "Gor Love" was probably Tipper.....

:-)

[AlienGirl]

34. I think "Gor" may be what was meant

[AlienGirl]

33. Nevermind, it IS "Gor"

I'm not into Gor myself; my kinks are more eccentric!

Tucker

[Kathy in Cambridge]

11. This is going to sound cold but

marriage is a contract that protects joint property ownership, and health insurance is a nice perk. You can be in love and not get married, but if you're working toward common goals (children, retirement, property ownership), it's better to have a legally binding contract to protect your assets and children.

[SarahB]

19. It's not cold, it's the truth

If we had a single payer system for health care I never would have even gotten married. I was 19, in college, birth control failed, under my parents' insurance that didn't cover maternity, and living with my older boyfriend who wanted to marry me anyway, so I did. Because I took the commitment seriously, I tried and tried for years to ignore my feelings (or lack of them) and build a life. You're right though, sometimes the reasons are cold, but you definately need a strong love at the base to build it on.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

25. I wouldn't have gotten married either

had it not been for owning property together and a few other legal entaglements. I'm just as happy being in a long-term relationship or single. I think men benefit from marriage more than women in most cases.

[bearfan454]

26. I think in some cases yes,

but not in most cases overall. Just my opinion.

[SarahB]

30. It hard sometimes

When you care about a person but feel forced because of circumstances due to unplanned pregnancy, financial matters, or immigration issues even. In my next life, I won't get married unless there was no question, no cold feet, no nothing but being completely and utterly in love with the other person and knowing for a fact I want to spend the rest of my life with them.

I don't know if it's true for all men, in fact I've known men who've gotten the royal shaft from their wives, but for me, he most certainly has gotten more out of the deal. He got almost everything he wanted and I was his rock for years, while my needs with the perpetual afterthought.

(Excuse my rant, but it hasn't been the best of weeks and given the fact I'll never meet 99.99% of the people here, it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me because I find my rants therapeutic.) :7

[Bertha Venation]

12. None, or course, if one is ruled by his

gonads. :eyes:

[gator_in_Ontario]

37. Amen to that!

So much for the sanctity of marriage I keep hearing so much about.

[MaineDem]

13. To have someone around who can get things off top shelves for me

And to open jars.

That's what I keep telling my husband of almost 30 years. :)

[arwalden]

14. Oh Good Grief!

[ZenLefty]

15. So you can grow to hate each other and lose half your stuff in a divorce?

:shrug:

[NicoleM]

18. I don't understand the question.

Are you being forced into an arranged marriage or something? If you don't want to get married, don't.

[YIMA]

20. dont forget the hot guys too!!

[bearfan454]

28. Welcome to DU.

You can get the real news now.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. to have a wedding!

[bearfan454]

23. How about because you love someone so much

that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person ? This person is your best friend, your soulmate, a constant companion, someone you can talk to about anything at all, a sex partner, and many other things.

I might check out an ass now and then, but hey, I'm a man and that is normal. Who cares where you get your hunger from as long as you eat at home ? Mrs bearfan is really special to me. I love her a lot.

[bleedingheart]

38. Hear! Hear! for Bearfan454!

My Mr_B is special to me too!

He is my best friend, companion and we make each other laugh!

[bearfan454]

27. Kick.

Nobody else has an opinion ?

[elfwitch]

29. The point of getting married....

I guess that really depends on the person you are getting married to and who you are as well.

I have a friend that should have never gotten married to anyone, much less than the guy she did marry. She wanted to have the big fancy party were everyone would look at her and say how pretty she looked. She wasn't actually prepared for the part of marriage where the other person lives in your house and you have to share stuff.

If you want to have sex with many different people, then you shouldn't get married.

If you cannot imagine spending the rest of your life with only one person, then you shouldn't get married. But I can tell you that when you do meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to begin right away.

When you find that person you find it difficult to even imagine the rest of your days without them. Even if you have found that, it still doesn't mean you need to get married. There are plenty of people who are just permanently shacked up. And if that works for them then it is what they should do.

I am lucky. I get to be married to my best friend. If I was only allowed to see one other person for the rest of my life, he would be the one I'd want to spend the time with. I couldn't have found a more perfect person for me. And the super cool bonus is that I get to have sex with my best friend.

When you add in things like kids and property, it just adds different levels to the equation. I would never want my son to have any other Daddy than the one he has.

So I guess it all boils down to one thing. Marriage is not for everyone. People get married for all sorts of silly reasons. I think you should only get married to a person if your heart and you head tells you that you can't imagine anything better than being married to that person.

[Interrobang]

31. I can't imagine what's the point...

I thought I had it all figured out when I got engaged a year and half ago, but I've since gotten to the point where I'm back to my original viewpoint -- there's no point at all.

Then again, I own squat, don't want kids, crave my own space (and may be the kind of person whose personal space expands to fill what's available, since I can get annoyed if I'm in a very large outdoor area and someone else comes along), and can't imagine even *seeing* the same person every single day for the rest of my life, let alone waking up next to them and/or having sex with them. And I'm saying that even though I have a SO...although he lives far away, so I have lots of time to prepare for when he shows up... I might love him, but I'm not sure I *like* **anyone** well enough to go to the trouble of living with them like that. "Live close, visit often!"

There's too much to see and do in the world, I'm thinking, to get too tied down to one place, one country, one language, one lifestyle, one person. (Actually, for me, it's getting to feel like I have been tied down -- it was fun for a while, but now I'm kind of all bent out of shape and bits of me hurt.) I have a list of things I want/need to do with my life that's as long as my arm (in 8pt type) and many of them I simply could not do if I were meaningfully attached and settled.

(That's also aside from my rather radical political take on the matter, which I won't get into. I just feel like ranting tonight.)

If doing the whole marriage thing is your cup of tea, go for it, but I'm not sure it's practical for everyone...

[AlienGirl]

32. HEALTH/DENTAL BENNIES

Nuff said.

Tucker

[cetasika]

35. I have a theory

that only lazy or weak people get married,

[Butterflies]

36. that's an interesting theory

and it almost killed the thread :7


if it wasn't for me, that is.

[bleedingheart]

39. bzzzzz wrong

Marriage is a LOT of work!

When you are single you don't have to worry about accomodating or taking care of the needs of another. Successful marriages are those in which both partners work to make a happy home.

It is far easier to make yourself happy.

[mac56]

40. Marriages of lazy, weak people don't last.

Marriage isn't for wimps.

[rene moon]

42. So I am weak and lazy???

Gteat, I'll tell my husband that and see what he thinks. Thanks

[Catherine Vincent]

41. I think you have the attitude of my bf.

For some reason he doesn't want to get married.

[geniph]

43. You forgot the best reason:

it makes them much easier to introduce to your family and friends. Do you know how stupid it sounds to hear someone in their 40s introduce their "boyfriend"? "Lover" is much too personal, "significant other" sounds pretentious, "SO" confuses people, and "partner" sounds like a business relationship. It's much easier to introduce my "husband." People have an assumption about what that means.