Haiku Flame War

[TXlib]

The haiku flame war
You need know only one rule:
Please flame in haiku.

I will start the war:
Your candidate's a dingbat!
Try to prove me wrong!

[VelmaD]

1. Oh give me a break

Your candidate eats kittens
You can suck my ass

:)

[m-jean03]

62. Your candidate is

A Bonesman, linked to Hitler!
I'll pray for your soul

[felonious thunk]

2. This is so pointless

I can't believe you'd say that
Don't you have a brain?

[TXlib]

6. Ad hominem blow

Your argument lacks substance.
Please debate issues.

[felonious thunk]

7. I'd like to debate

But you're too dense to get it
Shut your stupid face

[TXlib]

9. Is that all you got?

I am rubber; you are glue.
You know how it goes.

[felonious thunk]

15. Nuh uh. Um, you're glue

and I'm the one that's rubber
So you're, like, sticky

[TXlib]

41. You are pathetic.

Echoing my own words back?
How lame can one get?

[BurtWorm]

10. Nothing like watching

an argument devolve into
a metadebate.

[TXlib]

14. What's "metadebate"?

I'm not familiar with this.
Will you define, please?

[BurtWorm]

23. Metadebate is

debate about a debate.
Like box within box.

[Westegg]

3. DU needs flame wars/

Like the Dems need Ralph Nader.
This Prez has to go.

[TXlib]

12. War's our crucible.

We'll forge our fighting spirit
in heat of battle.

[WilliamPitt]

4. Hee

Your candidate sucks
So bad he bends light like a
collapsing star. Ass.

[VelmaD]

11. Well, your candidate

Is ugly and his mother
Dresses him funny. :P

[SOteric]

26. The guy you support

cannot walk while chewing gum,
a brain dead goat turd.

[VelmaD]

29. Your avatar pic

America's Most Wanted
Is looking for him :)

[SOteric]

33. A desperado,

Quien es mas doll-baby: Pitt/
Baby-face Nelson?

[VelmaD]

45. That's an easy one

The grand all-time doll-baby
Is Will Pitt. Hands down. :)

[TXlib]

46. I envy Will Pitt.

Oh, to be double-teamed by
SO and Velma!

[VelmaD]

53. You know it honey

More than most boys can handle
You just keep dreaming ;)

[TXlib]

54. Well, I've got my hand.

And my imagination.
And some Vaseline...

[VelmaD]

59. Wow. Who woulda thunk

Picturing Will Pitt nekkid
Would get you all hot

[m-jean03]

60. I'll have this thread locked

If you keep being obscene
This is offensive

[TXlib]

63. Hey, it doesn't count

if it's written in haiku.
Don't tell me I'm wrong!

:7

[m-jean03]

67. Don't argue with me

I can't stand people like you
Putting on ignore!

(;-) )

[TXlib]

69. If you ignore me

Then I can make fun of you
with impunity!

[Westegg]

64. I'm old-skool. Will Pitt/

Founded Pittsburgh long ago.
He's lowered his sights.

[VelmaD]

68. Just a dang minute

Should I be offended by
That haiku or not?

[Westegg]

85. You're a Pittsburgher?/

If not, you can't understand.
We hold this name dear.

[VelmaD]

91. I still don't get it

I guess you had to be there
I'll try not to pout ;)

[Westegg]

5. Kerry hates the troops/

Cheney said it on T.V.
So MUST be true (barf).

[m-jean03]

42. Let's gang up, brother

They won't notice we're freepers
Until it's too late

:evilgrin:

[Westegg]

86. Do I miss the point?/

Or do you? I'm a freeper/
Cuz I quote Cheney?

[LynneSin]

8. Are you a Dingbat

You must I know you are one
Your post sucks so there!!!

[TXlib]

24. Takes one to know one!

You know this thread kicks ass, or
you would not post here.

[WilliamPitt]

13. Deleted message

Message has been removed by
Moderator. Rules.

[felonious thunk]

18. This message makes no

sense, since it was in reply
to the above post

[VelmaD]

20. That was brilliant

At the risk of sounding like
A Will Pitt groupie ;)

[LynneSin]

16. You were once lurking

But we knew by your first post
That you're a FREEPER!!!!

[TXlib]

43. I'm hitting alert!

Let's see how you feel about
another warning!

[RoadRunner]

17. ???

Oh, Yeah?
Got a link?

on edit: To take a bunch of stuff out (after others have viewed it for 59 minutes)

[m-jean03]

65. You ugly coward

We all saw what you said there
About John Kerry's service

[TXlib]

66. That is not haiku.

First line has five. The next line,
Seven. The last, five.

[Liberal Classic]

19. If we all agree,

There's no reason to debate.
What's the fun in that?

[m-jean03]

72. Like the Prez once said

"With us/Against us"
Not with us? You're wrong!

[LynneSin]

21. Propane Tank loaded

I'm ready to flame away
Ready Aim Fire!!

[TXlib]

28. Fighting hurts us all!

Put your flamethrower away.
Can't we get along?

[m-jean03]

44. War is our nature

Pacifists are so out of touch
Your types make me sick

[NoPasaran]

22. We are all so screwed

Kerry unelectible
Four more years of crap

[m-jean03]

47. We are only screwed

Because of attitudes like yours
I'm sick of this crap

[LynneSin]

25. Why didn't you search

All the forums, archive too
Topic dupe, please lock!

[m-jean03]

79. You're a control freak

Moderator wanna be
We all make mistakes

[Tyler Durden]

27. Guess who just said that

Your Candidate's the same as
George W. Bush?

[m-jean03]

77. Dean obviously

Needs more sex, badly
Yep, he is crazy

[LynneSin]

30. You're Voting Nadar?

Don't come bitching to us dude
When Bush wins again

[m-jean03]

Kerry's a Bonesman

That means he IS Bush you fool
Either way Satan wins

[LynneSin]

82. You're Right Vote Nadar

Who cares about Choice, Free Speech
or Environment?

[m-jean03]

87. None of these matter

In Evil Plutocracies.
Prepare for the End.

[President_G_W_Bush]

31. Four more years! Hell, Yeah!

John Kerry is a wussy.
I will whip his ass!

[BurtWorm]

34. Very impressive,

W! I did not know
You knew how to count.

[President_G_W_Bush]

37. Count's irrelevant

When you can manufacture
the numbers you need.

[TXlib]

40. You can try to steal,

but this machine kills fascists:
a fair ballot box.

[President_G_W_Bush]

32. Can I have your vote?

Let's make it legal, this time.
Don't make me get rough!

[m-jean03]

35. Both Men: Skull and Bones

So what's the damn difference?
We are surely doomed

;-)

[President_G_W_Bush]

36. Bush-Cheney, '04!

Roll over, America!
We're not done with you!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

38. OK

Want my country back
Kerry is the anti-Christ
I'm too pure for you

[m-jean03]

75. Your head's in the clouds

Your dumb candidate can't win
Pacifists are freaks

[catzies]

39. New best thread ever

How could I possibly flame
When you're all so smart?


:)

[m-jean03]

48. Is anyone here

Actually getting mad?
If so, make some tea.

[TXlib]

49. Well, LynneSin's attack

really got me all worked up.
I think I'll cry now.

[m-jean03]

73. Men who cry are weak

I find you quite pathetic
A sorry excuse.

[TXlib]

74. It's called sarcasm.

Actually, I am a
stone-hearted bastard.

[TXlib]

78. Sexual tension...

You feel it, too, right? It can
be cut with a knife!

[m-jean03]

80. Between us? Ha ha!

You are quite the dreamer, friend.
Voting Kucinich?

[felonious thunk]

51. We should not drink tea

coffee is the correct choice
Now, who will brew some?

[TXlib]

52. I vote we drink beer.

I brewed 15 gallons of
it, this past weekend.

[felonious thunk]

56. That sounds like a plan

I'm like a chocoholic
except it's for booze

[m-jean03]

57. Beer/ coffee not Zen

When we drink them we go nuts
Friends, find your center

[TXlib]

58. That would make you an

alcoholic, wouldn't it?
Call a spade a spade...

[catzies]

96. Where is Zomby Woof?

He'll make us Zomby Coffee
Fix us all right up!

[m-jean03]

50. That's a right wing source

You so stupidly link to
Go to hell, freeper

[pagerbear]

55. Alas

Pagerbear is sad
His haiku thread forgotten
This new one flaming

[TXlib]

71. Write a witty thread

and watch it sink like a stone.
It builds character.

[Westegg]

61. Bush reads (or is read)/

These haiku. Sez "Thank Jesus!..."
DU's just some fruits!"

[VelmaD]

70. Ok, gotta run

Staff meeting in 5 minutes
God I hate my job :(

[NoPasaran]

76. Republican Lite

November I'm staying home
Show some backbone dude

[m-jean03]

81. Kerry has backbone

But it's made of flour and eggs
Add syrup, enjoy!

[NoPasaran]

83. Even Kucinich

A salad eating vegan
Could whip Kerry's ass

[ScreamingMeemie]

84. I'm hitting alert

The mods will take care of you
Stupid freeper troll.

[Westegg]

88. They all run away/

When I send my responses.
Flame war? A slaughter.

[Maine-i-acs]

89. This is MY Haiku.

Just you try and stop me now.
You Mother****ers.

[LynneSin]

90. Yaks, Thongs, Yak Yak Thong

Wagga Wagga Wagga Yak
Oh NO! Threadjacked ACK!!!

[LynneSin]

92. Zell Miller, Traitor

He always votes with Bushites
Good Riddance asswipe!!

[DS1]

93. Look at you asshats

half you dumb bastards cannot
spell your own names right

[SOteric]

95. Cranio-rectal

is no laughing matter. 'Least
we're not ass-buckets.

[DS1]

97. Oh, want for storage

Bucket is as bucket does
Hats wither and leak

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

94. Bush is a moran

has sex with goats at his ranch
Let's throw the bum out.

[Endangered Specie]

98. My candidate will / Bitch slap your lame ass like a/ red headed stepchild

[TXlib]

99. I'm kicking this thread.

I don't wish to see it die.
Yes, I am so vain.