So my first girlfriend died

[SweetZombieJesus]

And I'm on mushrooms, so my head is spinning. She was only 22, and the worst thing is I have no idea how she died. I haven't seen her for at least six months, and she lived in Omaha, apparently. My mom just called me and told me she died, but she didn't know how. I didn't even know she'd left town.

I've never had anyone I was really close to die before, so this is just really...words escape me. Even though we were only together for like two weeks, we were friends for a long time afterwards and its just too fucking surreal for me to think that she's dead.

[THUNDER HANDS]

1. woah man

You picked a bad night to trip out.

Sorry about your loss. Did you still like her at all or was it a messy breakup?

[SweetZombieJesus]

3. And then some

The saddest thing is that I can't tell if I feel this bad because of the drugs or because of me. Makes me feel like a total asshole.

[SweetZombieJesus]

12. Actually, of all my exes, she was the only one I really regretted breaking

up with. I was young and listened to my stupid friends, and we stayed friends after I broke up with her, but I always regretted it. Most of the rest of my exes I didn't really like and couldn't stand after we broke up, but Allison was always cool with me.

The last time I saw her, she was really skinny, and I worried that she was tweaking, but I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit to worry too much about it, and now she's gone.

The thing that bugs me is that I still don't know what happened exactly. The guys she hung out with when she lived here were kind of thuggish, so I don't know what to think.

[Rick Myers]

2. Damn, brother...

That's bad news... All my condolences... Chill out! All good karma to you, my friend!

[caledesi]

4. SZJ...this is one of the saddest stories I have heard.

My sympathies to you.

[short bus president]

5. Sorry for your loss, SZJ,

but don't kick yourself for having been out for a fun evening before the world dropped a load on you.

If it helps, remember that hallucinogenics have not always been "just for fun." They have been used essentially forever to enter a contemplative and meditative state for "questing," or seeking an answer to some problem. Maybe that's something that would be of benefit for you tonight.

:shrug:

[Shakeydave]

14. Good words SBP!

I knew I liked you! :thumbsup:

[jonnyblitz]

6. hang in there. shrooms are pretty mellow but still

that is a wierd/hard thing to process none-the-less. I assume u ate the shrooms before you found out..

take care.

[GumboYaYa]

7. Dude that is harsh.

Sorry to hear about your loss, but for now the more important thing is to stay chill. I know that sounds cold, but you need to keep your mind off any negative thoughts as best you can. Get over your trip and then deal with this. Stay on here posting until you come down some.

How long ago did you eat the Shrooms and how much?

[Tinoire]

8. I am so sorry SweetZombieJesus

Did she laugh? Did she smile? Remember her like that!

She'd be bummed out to see you wasting a perfectly good trip where you could be laughing with her and re-experiencing the joys you shared. Those joys will always be with you and with her. They're precious, priceless memories you must never let go off.

She's just on a short trip... Just imagine her waving and smiling to you. I'm sure that's how she'd like you to see her now.

Life isn't about pain- it's about how you deal with that pain. Deal with this one with sweetness.

Peace my friend...

[tridim]

9. A few years ago

I met a girl at work that I fell for, hard. We became fast friends and just started to take the relationship further when she was diagnosed with brain cancer. She died two months later. The doctors said she got it through her eyes, probably since she lived near the equator in SriLanka for 10 years. Oddly, her eyes were the first thing I noticed when I met her. They were a stunningly brilliant turquoise color.

Talk about surreal. That whole period in my life is a blur. It took me a year to get over it, but I still think about her almost every day.

Sorry to hear about your loss. Time heals all.

[Booberdawg]

10. Here's a link to Omaha World Herald

Maybe you can find out more about it from the Omaha paper.

http://www.omaha.com/

[leftist_rebel1569]

11. I'm so sorry!

I had a friend that committed suicide last year when I was in 8th grade. He was my age, also. I remember coming to school one morning, and hearing about his death...and words left me. All I could think about that day was a conversation I had with him only a few days before. And to think...he was dead. It was so weird. But, I'm so sorry that this has happened.

[youngred]

13. my first girlfriend died while we wer dating

the first girl i ever loved

[UrbScotty]

15. Ah, goodness.

Best wishes to you, SZJ. My condolences.

[tjdee]

16. Sorry to hear this.

That's awful, whether you're tripping or not. Hope your memories of her help a little.

[ronnykmarshall]

17. Oh no

I am so sorry. I just lost a good friend today as well.

Hang in there Sweet Zomby, it's a bitch I know.

Big ass cyber hugs to you.

[sexybomber]

18. i'm sure she had a good heart and thus secured a good rebirth.

take comfort in that, friend. in the meantime, i'm sure she'll watch over you for your trip.

[markus]

19. Haven't been high in years

but I hope you're not sitting by the PC, alone and tripping with all of this weighing on you.

Find somebody to be with who understands. That will make the night easier for you. Call somebody and have them come by.

Drop in a very tranquil CD (maybe something you and your girlfriend both like) and just be very close to your memories of her. Feel her spirit passing by to say goodbye, for now.

[SweetZombieJesus]

20. Thanks to everyone for the good wishes

Believe me, I needed it. She was always a great girl, and she overcame so much. She grew up without her dad, and she was the only black girl in our small town, and she was always one of the most self-confident people I know, and I always loved that about her. It's just really hard to believe that she died so young.