How do cops keep their sanity? Most of the time, when they approach

[raccoon]

someone, the interaction isn't going to be pleasant. Most likely the civilian is thinking, at the very LEAST, "OMG, what did I do?"

And some will be downright obnoxious. and some downright dangerous.

Any current/former cops here care to comment?

[raccoon]

1. Should I have posted this in GD? nt

[LeftinOH]

2. I'm curious as well. As for my part as a civilian, whenever I'm approached by the police

(which is quite rare), I make a point of removing my sunglasses (if any), and not acting or talking like a demented weirdo. Some people have serious trouble achieving that simple goal.

[HappyMe]

3. I'm not a cop. Nor do I play one on tv.

But my neighbor in WI was a cop. He said that the calls he and most of his buddies dreaded the most were the domestic violence ones. He told me he felt like a gas can going to a fire.

[TorchTheWitch]

4. That I can believe

The couple that live next door to me and who I unfortunately share a wall with have been trying to kill each other for years. Since the last blow up last fall the guy got into rehab and it seems to be working so far this time (it does appear that he's been off the drugs and booze since he got out, but I'm not holding my breath on if it will be permanent this time). The wife is still drinking and drugging, but she always was more of a weekend warrior type and never got nearly as nuts as him.

For years the cops had to come to their place almost every week, and they were the most violent and belligerent people I'd ever seen when the cops came... they were FAR worse when the cops came than when they just tried to kill each other without them present. I still marvel at how calm the police were at every incident next door even when it sometimes took literally HOURS to finally get things under control (and one or both would usually get hauled off to jail). I was always on the edge of explosion just watching even just bits of some of the incidents... I would have gone ape shit or run away screaming if I was knee deep in it like they had to be. I just don't know how they do it especially over and over and over with these same nutcases.

[HappyMe]

5. That's horrible. Stay safe.

[laundry_queen]

13. Some cops are made for it I guess

My SIL is a cop and she prefers these calls. Then again, she has a degree in psychology and is the most zen person I've ever met. They call on her now for the domestic violence calls. She's been attacked before too. She recounts it without much emotion and when I'm saying 'omg!' she's saying, "yeah, it happens" in a 'meh' tone of voice. I don't know how she does it.

[Lance_Boyle]

6. I have it on good authority that they sometimes make a game of their work meow. n/t

[SteppingRazor]

7. But if the best reaction a police officer can hope for is fear...

does that say more about the police or the citizenry?

[Demoiselle]

8. I make it a point to be as pleasant as I can be with cops.

Mostly because I sympathize with the tough job they have to do. And just a teeny weeny bit because I want to stay on their good side Well may a little more than a teeny weeny bit.

[Taverner]

9. I am the son of a 25 year police veteran: They take it home

And usually to disastrous results

There is a HUGE difference between the dad of my youth (when he was on the force) and retired dad. Sure, age brings mellowness, but so does not being a cop.

[laundry_queen]

14. Depends on the cop but yeah, most do

when my SIL finally entered the force, her and my brother had to go through counselling and my brother was interviewed before they would admit her. They said because the stress on the families is so bad, they make sure that the home life is healthy first. The divorce rate is astronomical among officers so they have tons of onsite counselling. So far, SIL doesn't bring stuff home, that I know of - or at least my brother doesn't complain about it. SIL is just a very relaxed person.

[Taverner]

16. That was then - back when my dad was a cop, you were expected to become an alcoholic like a man

Instead of go to some sissy shrink...

This was the 60s and 70s

[laundry_queen]

21. Ah, yes. Sounds exactly like my ex-FIL

'cept he worked on the oil rigs - back when they were really dangerous. He'd go to the local legion and get hammered after work. My ex refused to go to counselling because of my exFIL - he thought it was, as you said, 'sissy'. Hence why he's now my ex.

[Taverner]

24. Of course you also had a big denial problem back then

Things have definitely changed - but I think that denial is still there in many cops

[trof]

10. If you are pulled over:

BEFORE THE OFFICER GETS TO YOUR CAR

1. If it's dark, turn on your inside light.
2. Put your wallet on the dash in front of you.
3. If you have time, get your registration and proof of insurance out of the glove compartment.
4. Roll your window down.
5. Put your hands on the steering wheel in plain view.

I think you'll find that the officer really appreciates this.
You want to appear to be as non-threatening and compliant as possible.
Traffic stops, especially at night, are scary, adrenalin pumping situations for cops.
Anything you can do to alleviate that is good.
:-)

[many a good man]

11. I'd advise to omit steps 2-4

S/he's gonna get nervous if you're fiddling around with your hands where s/he can't see them at all times.

[Taverner]

17. You still should do 4

2 and 3 could be dangerous

[bigwillq]

12. I don't do any of those things before hand

I wait until he/she sees that I have a seatbelt on before he/she gives me a ticket for that as well.

[Riftaxe]

18. Probably better to do step 1 and 5

then wait until he gets to the car before the intervening steps :P

[riderinthestorm]

15. Here you go! The Friendly Feline and the Traffic Cop video from youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=648U5IbxzbQ

Cats and cops! Perfect.

[Supply Side Jesus]

22. That is funny...

thanks!

[Kali]

19. heh

had an incident last night where I was talking to a DPS officer. he was waiting for a crew to come clean up an animal that had been hit on the interstate. my comment as I left was "well sorry you have to sit here, but you are getting paid and I'm not so I'm going to go on home"

his reply: "better than writing tickets and pissing people off" :rofl:

[Supply Side Jesus]

20. Current Cop

I keep my sanity by escaping into books, great movies, exercise, travel, anything else really to take my mind off of work. But, you will take work home with you regardless. After looking for the remains of a guy's head one day, (brain matter, skull fragments, scalp) I had a very difficult time eating chicken. The brain matter reminded me of chicken skin, took a couple days to get beyond that. When I went to a pedestrian fatality, and the victim was a kid I grew up with, you might have a hard time sleeping. I take it in stride and live life. Though, a lot of things you will never forget.


When I interact with people I put on the most approachable body language and a soothing non-confrontational tone. I'll make a joke or comments meant to disarm and put folks at ease. I understand why people get nervous and try to encourage them to relax.

When I interact with suspects, I go non-judgmental, and non-accusatory. if a person 'cops' :) an attitude right away, I first try to find subtler ways to get cooperation, if that fails, then depending on the situation, you have to do what you got to do.

And yes, traffic stops suck, and I try to avoid them if all possible. Sure you can get shot, but more than likely you are going to get ran over by some asshole driver who refuses to get in the left lane. I fuckin hate asshole drivers....

I love my job. I get to genuinely help people who really need it. Though, you usually deal with the same pain in the ass 5% who just want to make everyone else miserable and don't believe the rules apply to them. But you can't let the bastards grind you down.

Like tonight, I help solved a robbery. Surveillance camera got a descent pic, based on what was stolen and where, photo line up panned out. Detectives only lead was a guy who turn out to be in the joint. Boo ya! They got the warrants written up tonight. I still get a rush when I nail a truly bad person who would stick a gun in someone's face, and steal their belongings. I still love to help people.

Anywho, there are asshole drivers, asshole Doctors, asshole teachers, asshole firefighters, and asshole cops. But there are great people who do all those jobs also.

[seabeyond]

23. i am glad you took the time to write this post

the last couple traffic stops i have had, the policeman was a jerk. (ya, i get tickets often enough, lol. supporting my city). they purposely work at being unfriendly, unpleasant and i just dont get that. i am not gonna be intimidated. why? i was speeding. so? i mean, it is the way i drive. when cop asked why i was speeding i said, it is the way i drive. i smiled. but, i wasnt gonna try to come up with a reason for speeding. just the way i drive.

he didnt like that

rollin eyes.

but, your post helps to remind me all the nice, smiling cops i have had, too. instead of just remembering the jerks trying to intimidate cause i am a criminal. or i speed.

[Supply Side Jesus]

25. Now I would laugh at a response like that

When a cop asks you the reason for the traffic infraction, it's more to ensure there is not an emergency as the reason for the infraction. Though I can understand why some cops act like that. I notice, and I find myself doing, cops will zero in on pet peeves. But if you dig hard enough, there is usually a story behind it. Think Bud White in L.A. Confidential, and his hatred for Men who strike Women. He witnessed his mother beaten to death by his dad as a child. **spoiler alert** LoL It's much the same way.


I have a HUGE soft spot for pets, I'm not afraid to knock on a house and inquire about a pets health if I see him possibly neglected. Last month there was a sick duck at a local pond, and I had Comm contact Dept. of Wildlife to respond and care for that duck. I had to do it 2 days in a row. Sure I got teased at Roll Call the next day, (Hey Quakers) but they know how I feel about animals. Enough about me...

Thank you for the feedback, and I'm glad it reminded you of the nice guys out there working the beat.

Be Safe