Happy Jesus's Death Day

[GiovanniC]

I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't wish you all a Happy Jesus's Death Day!

I don't know about you, but here where I work, Jesus's Death Day is quite the holiday. They're piping happy Jesus's Death Day carols through the loudspeakers and I think we're having broasted unicorn for lunch later on.

And I say there's no better reason to celebrate than the memory of an emaciated guy who claims to be the messiah getting whipped, beaten, tortured, and getting his extremities punctured with large metal spikes! You know, when I think about the Good Will Toward Men that this holiday represents, I sometimes wish every day could be like Jesus's Death Day.

P.S. If you think this is even moderately funny, I can probably get you a seat at my reserved table in hell.

[ET Awful]

1. As I posted in an earlier thread . . .

If you think this is funny, I'm already seated at your table :)

[matcom]

2. ROFL!!

mind if i tend bar? (at your table)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[felonious thunk]

3. This is a very passionate post

(cough)

[Dufaeth]

4. Don' forget: Happy Other's Children Murdered Week!

Happy Hocmw!

[Redbear]

5. As a Christian...

I can say I find that very funny.

I don't think Jesus has any problem with you making fun of religion. He would much rather hang out with DUer's than the Falwell/Robertson crowd any day.

[Ishoutandscream]

6. I'm a Christian, and I have a sense of humor

Thanks for the laugh. And because of our Lord's death, I've got the day off. Go figure.

[truthspeaker]

7. And on Sunday he comes back out of his tomb

But if he sees his shadow, it means we get 2000 more years of tribulation.

[matcom]

9. WE WILL BE READY FOR HIM!

[bleedingheart]

8. damn...now I have to go to confession tomorrow for laughing

:evilgrin:

meanwhile I am making pierogis with my mom today...

[pagerbear]

10. Kick

[Van Helsing]

11. The appropriate name is "Good Friday."

I really don't find this post humorous. It's not funny that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was beaten, tortured, and put to death. This is my religious belief. I wouldn't make fun of yours if I could.

[sangh0]

12. Of course it's funny

It makes fun of other people

[truthspeaker]

17. what do you expect to happen when you worship a dead guy?

Take some personal responsibility and lighten up. There are a lot of religious beliefs in the world and they are all fair game.

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[sangh0]

22. I guess you don't take your own advice

Take some personal responsibility and lighten up.

Why did you hit the Alert button?

[opiate69]

13. No...it's actually called Black Friday..

Yet another pagan holiday co-opted by Chritianity in order to spread the Jesus myth.

"Cybele, a Phrygian fertility goddess, had a lover named "Attis" who was born of a virgin. Attis supposedly died and was resurrected in late March each year. His festival started on what was called "Black Friday" (as opposed to "Good Friday") and ran for three days, ending in the celebration of Attis' resurrection. This festival was still going on in Rome in 325 when the Bishops and Constantine adopted the Easter celebration. Even back then, however, there were arguments between the Christians and the Attis worshippers about who was mimicking whom. The Christians then (as now) maintain that the story of Cybele and Attis is just a rip-off of the One True Faith and that the Attis worshippers were just trying to cash in on a Christian festival. For the record, Attis worship came to Rome in 204 BCE. Christianity came to Rome more than 200 years later. It was obviously the Christians who were mimicking the preexisting festivals that had been occurring in Rome for centuries before they got there. "

more here:
http://www.secweb.org/asset.asp?AssetID=279

[Zomby Woof]

14. excellent post

With a Lewis Black sig line to boot. :thumbsup:

[Book Lover]

21. One more point

this one about crucifixion: it took longer than half a day to kill someone on a crucifix. I highly recommend "The Passover Plot" for today's reading assignment.

[TheMightyFavog]

15. Well, the people over at Internet Infidels

Like to refer to Good Friday as "Christ-on-a-Stick day"

:evilgrin:

[Mick Knox]

16. FIghting off the inclination to be offended...

I'll just fluff it off, and wish you a happy scourging day back! :)

[northzax]

19. yeah, well a parade just went down

connecticut avenue here in DC with a Jesus-figure carrying a cross at the head of the line. They actually had people dressed as Centurions whipping him as he walked.

and a happy-death-day to you.

For the people who don't get it. remember. the whole point of Jesus' life was to be martyred and bear the sins of mankind away with him. That was the whole plan. You should be celebrating Judas, without him, maybe Jesus doesn't get killed by the Romans and dies without taking away the sins of man through martydom. Face it, Judas did us all a favour fulfilling the ancient prophesies and overruling the ancient laws. I don't know about you, but I inda like my polyblend shirt, and I'm glad thew overruled the old laws so I can wear it.

[tigereye]

20. it was odd to try to explain aspects of Good Friday

and what Passover means to my 8 year old. All of the stories involve death, torture, retribution, and rebirth - like many cultural and religious stories. His response: "Why did they do that?" Nothing like the Old Testament. I tried to explain that the New Testament Christ is more about forgiveness and hope than retribution. It is odd how many of these beliefs, that I took for granted when I was young practicing Catholic, sound so different when I (sort of torn between being a pantheist and a secular humanist) try to explain them to my son, who is not being raised in any organized religion.