Deranged Gunman Opens Fire On Shooting Range

[madinmaryland]

SAN ANTONIO—A man described by eyewitnesses as "unsettled" and "disturbed" walked into the local Guns Galore Shooting Range early Tuesday morning, paid for a half hour's worth of time, and then calmly opened fire on dozens of unsuspecting targets.

Sources said the man, now identified as Bryon James Woodrich, entered the establishment at approximately 8:30 a.m. armed with a pistol. After a brief exchange with the gun range manager, Woodrich purchased a box of ammunition, showed two pieces of ID, signed in, walked to stall No. 17, and at once began his crazed shooting spree.

"He just kept firing, over and over again—bam, bam, bam, bam, bam," said manager Clyde Jenkins, recalling the chilling scene. "From the moment he stepped into Guns Galore, it was clear that this man only had one thing on his mind."

Witnesses said Woodrich displayed no emotion whatsoever during the 29-minute barrage. Many watched in silence as the gunman unloaded 12 shots at extremely close range into the chest and head of a defenseless target, pausing only to reload. One witness said that the shooter actually exited the gun range with a "look of relief" on his face.

"I should have seen this coming," said San Antonio resident, Carlotta Vasquez, who has known Woodrich for over 10 years. "He's been having a tough time since Sheila left him, and they recently cut his hours at the plant. And he was always talking about needing to blow off some steam, but I never would have thought that this is what he meant. Had I known, I would have tried to be there for him, to say something."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/deranged-gunman-opens-fire-on-shooting-range,17468/

[Vinnie From Indy]

1. I did not read the article, but surely one of the dozens of targets

at "Guns Galore" returned fire.

[zipplewrath]

3. Did you read the source?

The barrage went on for 29 minutes.

Slowly......

Targets....

Source.....

[oneshooter]

9. Open mouth wide and insert foot! n/t

[slackmaster]

12. The targets were in the "no guns allowed" section of Guns Galore

They were unarmed.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[readmoreoften]

4. It's the Onion.

[Kali]

5. troublemaker

:rofl:

[Crystal Clarity]

6. Bad, Very Bad!!!

:spank:

:P

[cherokeeprogressive]

7. I have some Wet-Wipes for those with egg on their face.... LOL n/t

[HopeHoops]

8. Well, at least they are closed on Sunday.

Yes, I know it is The Onion.

[Kali]

10. bwahahahahhaha

moved to the gungeon:rofl:

[davepc]

11. Obviously this satire magazine item is useful for discussing firearms policy.

*sigh*

[Euromutt]

13. In a sense, it is

The item does a good job of replicating the breathless sensationalist style in which multiple-victim shootings are generally reported, to the extent that several posters took a while to realize it was The Onion. It's not a stretch to say that public opinion on firearms policy is formed to some--possibly a very large--extent by the way the news media covers firearm-related stories, therefore satirizing that style does reflect on the state of firearms policy, and public opinion towards it.

[AtheistCrusader]

14. Nice Onion. This is the store where the Fort Hood shooter supposedly purchased his

FN 5.7

Irrelevant, but probably why they had the stock photo lying about.