THE ONION: "Many Americans Still Unsure Whom To Vote Against"

[Kid_A]

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4022&n=1&bypass=1

Look for that picture of Kerry to make the rounds at all the big conservative sites...

[booksenkatz]

1. I dare anyone to

look into the sun and not make a funny, squinchy face. Junior, on the other hand, has a funny face regardless of the weather, or the light. At least John Kerry knows shit from shinola, unlike some presidential candidates from Texas I won't name.

[lastliberalintexas]

7. Presidential candidate from Texas?

Hmmm, I wasn't aware anyone FROM Texas was running this year... :-)

[booksenkatz]

10. Hee hee

Not to mention that the presidential candidate whose primary residence is in Texas has a VP on his ticket whose primary residence was Dallas, Texas until AFTER election 2000. But who gives two shits about the Constitution anymore? That's soooooooooo nineties. I guess my love for the Constitution just shows my AGE. LOL

I'm coming to Texas next week to visit my family and see all the Bush bumperstickers, wa-hoo!

[lancdem]

2. I love the Onion

[Claire Beth]

6. me, too. n/t

[no name no slogan]

3. From the mouths of fools comes the truth

Unfortunately that's about all we have to work with this time around: voting against the other guy.

Best quote:
"The two major parties face a tough struggle," Harmon said. "As the election approaches, both must convince undecided voters that the opposing party's candidate is worse than their own. As both parties take more moderate positions in an election year, it's getting harder to convince citizens that there's a reason to get out there and vote against anyone."

Shades of 2000, anyone?

[sangh0]

8. That's even funnier than The Onion

.

[Kid_A]

4. The best thing about The Onion...

is that you can show an article like this one to someone who has never heard of The Onion, and they'll think it's an actual newspaper. I heard someplace that Deborah Norville (from MSNBC) used a "study" from the Onion on her show one time. That, if true, is proof that Deborah Norville is really dumb and that The Onion is the best satire ever.

[Hav]

5. haha

"John Kerry's only virtue is that he hasn't been in a position to make any major mistakes," Schalek said. "On the other hand, I hate Bush's views on abortion. My only consolation is that a vote against either candidate is a vote against Nader."

[AmericanErrorist]

9. Love this one

"Kerry is a wishy-washy flip-flopper, changing his tune every time the wind blows," Barr said, repeating a phrase she'd heard on The Rush Limbaugh Show. "Can I trust a man who can't make up his mind about Communism? I don't think so."

Added Barr: "We have to remember how close the 2000 election was, when we voted against Gore. Actually, to be fair, when I voted against Gore, I was voting against Clinton."