Osama Bin Laden Captured!

[seventhson]

(API) Lahore, Pakistan 08/13/2004

Government Officials in the Pakistan Ministry of Information and sources within ISI say that Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9-11 attacks on the United States, and brother of the business partner of George Herbert Walker Bush, has been captured and is being held secretly in an undisclosed location in violation of Red Cross and other international conventions.

A spokesperson for Prime Minster Mufaz Musharaff declared any release of information is premature pending authorization from coalition forces and the White House which has been advised of Bin Laden's whereabouts and the classified conditions of his imprisonment for over 176 weeks.

Interrogators from private contractors and Pentagon contract agents have repeatedly denied that Bin Laden is in their custory and said he is probably still out by the pool behind the kennels drinking Guinness Stout and eating Texas-style barbecue pork ribs in Crawford, Texas - where the President moved from Connecticut to establish himself in the oil and greed business.

Current President and 2004 candidate George W, Bush stated today that if Bin Laden was by the pool in back of his ranch then he sure fooled him once and it would not happen again if he is reselected as resident of the white house.

CIA designate Congressman Porter Goss and Dick Cheney, at a military conference of Vietnam era National Guard deserters and retributes and alcoholic parasites for Bush in Ohio, said that wherever Osama is doesn't matter anymore because three thousand people died on September 11, 2001, and that is all the American people care or need to know about.

Seventhson talking point for August 13, 2004. Friday the Thirteenth.

Pass it on. This Bush shit is FUBAR to the Nth degree. And after Najaf we are all targets.


This IS a campaign issue (October Surprise Preemption)

[UdoKier]

1. This spoof belongs in the lounge.

Don't mess with people like that. Legit news reports don't include the words "consitions" and "custory", not to mention snarky little parodic lines like:

"interrogators from private contractors and Pentagon contract agents have repeatedly denied that Bin Laden is in their custory and said he is probably still out by the pool drinking Guinness and eating Texas barbecue in Crawford."


Funny in the lounge isn't funny in GD:C2004.

[seventhson]

3. parody and satire and foreshadowing

It is food for thought.

The idea is to catch your attention and be prepared for this as a campaign stunt by the Bushes.

Rove is a master of this. It is campaign strategy.

Thanks for the typo notices.

[oasis]

2. Bin Laden with BBQ sauce in his beard after eating pork ribs. Seventhson

I hope you don't have to go into hiding for your blasphemy, as did Solomon Rushdie. :scared:

[seventhson]

4. I already am in hiding, oasis

but thanks for the tip!

[seventhson]

5. still in hiding

kick

[seventhson]

6. Shucks - I was hoping Sludge would pick up on this.

Oh well

[liberal N proud]

7. Hey I've got money riding on this

A few of us at the office have started a pool betting on when the announcement of the capture will happen!
Surprisingly no one took 9/11.
I am betting the when the capture is announced it will be times such as other announcements have for late Sat. night or Sun morning.
That gets them all the Sunday talk shows and the pulpit. The right wingers will be cheering in the pews. Just as they did when Sadam's capture was announced (on Sun. morning).

[beyurslf]

8. Mods, please move this. :)