BREAKING: Forward thinking McCain Hires Private Nurse

[Coexist]

Presumptive Republican nominee held a press conference today in an attempt to ease the concerns of Republicans that he may be too old to handle the pressures of the office of President of the United States. He introduced Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, who will travel with him on the campaign trail. Presumably, Mrs. Palin's role will be to replace Senator Joe Lieberman, whose past role included memory prompting and spittle wiping (when Mrs. McCain was not available.)

Mr. Palin, who works to further the interests of a foreign oil corporation, could not be reached to discuss what his role would be in what is being referred to as the "Benny Hill-style Presidency".

[Youphemism]

1. Lieberman, of course, will remain on-hand for those rectal exams he enjoys so much. /nt

[Coexist]

2. oh, the visual.

[Coexist]

3. .