If Jesus Christ Himself Returned to Earth and Ran on the Democratic Ticket

[PopSixSquish]

We'd see 527 groups called "Swift Moneychangers in the Temple" or "Pharisees for a Stronger America" running ads about how he really didn't suffer terribly at the crucifixion, bashing him for healing lepers and insinuating that Jesus and Mary Magdeline were having an affair.

Everybody, take a deep breath, smoke 'em if you've got 'em, go to a movie tonight, get drunk or do whatever you do to blow off steam and come back on Monday ready to go back to fighting. There are going to be more ups and downs before this thing ends.

Nobody and I mean nobody thought this campaign was going to be easy. But DU has done good things during this past year and we're going to continue to do so. Call me a "pie-eyed optimist" but if I was wired any other way, I couldn't get up in the morning.

That is all.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

1. I have no doubt...

he'd be in jail or dead. At their own hands.

[movonne]

2. Oh what a smear campaign they could do...bleeding heart, wimp

un patriotic, welfare encourager, etc,etc.

[Philostopher]

8. Oh, not to mention

all those questions about the circumstances of his birth -- his mother wasn't married to his father, you know!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. And what's with all that wimpy "turn the other cheek" nonsense?

A guy I know whose brother-in-law used to live in Jerusalem said this brother-in-law's next-door neighbor told him Jesus never was even in the Garden of Gethsemane. In fact, I bet he even wrote the Gospels himself. Tell everybody else you know at FreeRepublic. This guy has to be stopped!

[DRoseDARs]

4. His image would be juxtaposed with bin Laden's...

Jesus is a bleeding-heart liberal, aka 'terrorist sympathizer', after all.

[Momgonepostal]

5. I'm sure much of the religious right wouldn't vote for him...

...if he wasn't running on the republican ticket. Jesus or no.

[PopSixSquish]

6. They Probably Wouldn't Even Think it was Really Him

:shrug:

[fearnobush]

7. I image if Christ was to run, they would say he faked his record and

really was not poor.

[TheDonkey]

9. Priests for Bush: Jesus actually had a self-inflicted crusifiction...

O' Neil: I was there, I saw it, I don't remember anyone nailing him to anything.

[0rganism]

21. That last nail was real tricky

Some say it's a miracle he was able to pound it in. :crazy:

[nightperson]

10. Some unmarried guy with 12 male, um, "disciples"?

Then there are the image problems presented by the Resurrection. Sam Kinison used to point out the likely public response: "The dead fucking live! Somebody kill it! I'm gonna throw up!"

[charlyvi]

11. Why does Jesus Christ hate America?

lol

[TheDonkey]

13. Jesus is a little... "french looking"

[charlyvi]

14. And the long hair and his

association with ladies of questionable moral character.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

[5thGenDemocrat]

12. "Oh, sure -- Jesus SAYS he was crucified..."

"But did he REALLY drive those nails in Himself?"
John
This message brought to you by 'Pharisees for the Truth.'

[indyjones1938]

15. well

I know that your post was satirical and in jest. The problem is, it touches upon a very real - and very powerful - aspect of this campaign.

There are many Bush supporters who do, in fact, believe that he and the Republican Party has been chosen by God to lead America. They believe that since he is God's personal emmissary, he can no wrong, and anyone who dares challenge him is challenging God himself. This is why Bush's most hardcore support comes from right-wing fundies. They are, in essence, proclaiming a mandate by divine right. I'm sure you all remember during the 2000 debates when Bush proclaimed that "the American people want a president who appeals to the angels."

[Minimus]

16. pop!

You busted my bubble. I was really enjoying the giggle. Then you come along and interject reality.

You are right about them though, scary. Repub at work was talking Revelations and stuff this week. Said he isn't going to vote 'cause world was coming to end.

I'm glad he's not voting but he was creeping me out.

[AmandaRuth]

17. He has the most (snarl, sneer) LIBERAL voting record

since, well, the beginning of time.

[Zynx]

18. He's a Communist!

That would be a very commonly used one.

[JerseygirlCT]

19. They'd claim he nailed himself up there... nt

[jonnyblitz]

20. nevermind, delete

:P

[ruggerson]

22. Walking on water just resume inflation