A Prop 8 Rant

[Doctor Pedantic]

I am scared out of my mind.

The other night, I was having dinner with a number of colleagues from work. One of them is very conservative and religious, but we have been friends for eight years. Someone else brought up the issue of Prop 8, and I expressed my dismay at how the Yes on 8 campaign's lies appeared to be working, and that it looked like it would actually pass. My colleague -- my friend -- then volunteered, to my face, that she was voting for Prop 8. She is voting against me, and telling me that my family is worth less than hers. I can't maintain a relationship with her now, except a professional one.

Last night, I had a message on my home answering machine encouraging me and my "household" (I guess including my husband?) to vote for Prop 8.

This morning, I saw on californiansagainsthate.com that the parents of one of my 12-year-old son's friends from school have donate $25,000 (!) to Yes on 8.

On the way to work, I saw my first Yes on 8 yard sign, and a car with two Yes on 8 bumper stickers.

I am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I was married to a woman for 12 years. I bought into the "ex-gay" belief that homosexuality is something that can be overcome, and I worked my hardest to do so and to be a good Christian. The marriage failed for many reasons, and now I am happily married to a wonderful man.

We live in a bedroom community in Southern California. My husband is helping me raise my three kids from my earlier, disastrous marriage. They call him "Daddy." He is now a stay at home parent who volunteers at the kids' schools and is active in PTA. We are popular with our neighbors, including the elderly couple across the street who call us "The Boys" (as does the lesbian couple who live behind us!). We have family dinner every night, with a strict no-TV-during-meals rule. We say grace before meals and go to church every Sunday. We host sleepovers for the kids, never miss a soccer game, and are active in the community. One of our friends from the neighborhood says that we actually are one of the most "traditional" families she knows. And yet even people who know us, even people we thought were friends, are actively trying to take away our rights, to dehumanize us, to tell our children they are not part of a "real" family.

I am sorry about making this so personal, and didn't mean for this post to turn into a pity party. I just feel so beaten down right now. We've donated money, we've argued, we are going to phone bank and knock doors at every possible opportunity between now and November 4. It's just that no political issue in my 43 years has ever hit so close to home. This time, it's personal. And it just breaks my heart to know how far we still have to go to overcome prejudice and hate, even in "liberal" Southern California, even among our families, neighbors, and "friends."

[Kerrytravelers]

1. It is personal. It's very personal.

Tell you what- your post has convinced me to get off my butt and go to the local No on 8 HQ and volunteer. Mr. kt will go with me, I know he will, as this proposition has made him furious.

Good post, my new friend, good post.



:hug:
kt

[proud patriot]

2. I'm voting no

I need to get a no on 8 bumper sticker

[AndyTiedye]

3. I Just Donated to "No on 8"

[CalGator]

5. should be called "no on h8", imo

[bliss_eternal]

26. You really should put that on a shirt. ...

:thumbsup:
...or bumpersticker, it's quite good.

[bama2008]

29. i will too

[BrainStorm]

4. It IS personal.. To all of us.

The advertising campaign is just vicious and the commercials against Prop 8 are just not getting the same play or the same emotional impact. There is a TON of out of state money coming in for this campaign. The national Knights of Columbus are bankrolling so much of it. DAMMIT. You are right to rant. I rant all the time. It's driving me crazy.

[Tumbulu]

6. I am so sorry that you feel scared

I live in N. California and it is solid no on 8 country here. I hope that you and your family can get through these ugly times whole.

I have been so focused on prop 2 that I have not been paying much attention to the other propositions So, reading your beautiful well written post allowed me to think about all of the dear gay people in my life and send love and prayers and hope that traps for all of us are removed.

[Joe Bacon]

7. The REAL target of prop 8

We know what the real target of these Christians are. Passing 8 is the first step to their real target which is overturning the Loving Vs. Virginia case. They want interracial marriage banned. This is why my girlfriend and I are voting NO. I'm Jewish and she's black. We know the Christians will come after us if they pass Prop H8!

[Proud-D]

8. Can some one please tell me

why I have been seeing pro prop8 ads here at DU? Ive seen them on the DUadbot and front page banners. Why would Democratic Underground put up pro prop 8 ads? :shrug: :wtf:

[EFerrari]

9. Google puts them up, not DU.

And since none of us are for this crap, let people spend their money here.

If you donate to DU, you can turn off the ads.

[Luminous Animal]

15. Not an excuse.

If it were that simple, we'd be getting pro-McCain ads. This has got to stop.

[EFerrari]

10. It is personal, even for those of us who aren't gay but who have dear friends

or even any sense of justice. You bet it's personal.

:hug:
:grouphug:

[Joe Bacon]

16. It IS personal for me and my girlfriend.

We know the real target of these bigots is the "Loving vs. Virginia" decision and these Christian bigots want that decision overturned so interracial marriage will be banned. We know that if these bigots win with H8, we are next! Thats why we are voting NO on 8. NO bible thumping asshole has the right to tell us who we can and cannot love.

[bliss_eternal]

25. Agreed...

...as a life-long Californian, this is one of the most horrible and blatantly intolerant propositions I've ever seen. It's right up there (for me) with making the national language of this state English, many years ago. :eyes:

[litlady]

11. Good post - I am worried about Prop 8 like I was about Prop 22 years ago...

It is shocking how many are not willing to be for equality in this country. I have long thought even the Democratic Party stance on gay rights is weak. In California especially there is no excuse for people to not be free!

[Frances]

12. I am voting no.

So are my daughter and son-in-law.

Even my macho husband, a former Navy fighter pilot, is voting no.

[grantcart]

13. I don't think its going to pass

BTW anyone married before the election will be legally married and those marriages cannot be taken away.

[scorpiogirl]

14. Of course it's personal. Please know you are not alone.

Please know that there are lots of us fighting this. I have homemade signs in my window, I've ordered No on 8 gear and donated. I've also been spending time arguing with the idiots on our local paper's online forum.

I'm a straight mom hoping like hell that this stamp of approval on bigotry doesn't pass. The thought just makes me feel sick.

:hug: to you!

[auntsue]

17. prop 8

Yesterday in Column One on the front page of th LA times- a long heart-tugging article about people who are "fasting and praying" for the passage of proposition eight. If memory serves there was also an article regarding the ad describing schools teaching about"girls marrying princesses" and that and the "fact" that "parents can do nothing about it". Really this is an issue where so-called "Christians" want to legislate "christian values". This country, we are told, was founded by a determined people who wanted the freedom to practice their religion without interference from official government religious edicts. At one time divorce was almost impossible, private behaviors were judged and punished. Remember The Scarlett Letter ? We now think of those times as quaint. Slavery was once justified by citations from - the Bible.
The ads on TV seem to be so afraid that some one will tell children about "gay marriage" as if by knowing that such a thing exists - children will say, "oh yeah I want to try it!". Children, even very young children, are not going to be enticed just by awareness. No one can "turn" a person gay. By age five a person's future sexuality is set, not acknowledged usually, but it is there.
With all this Bible quoting how about Matthew 7, 1-5 Why do you concern yourself with the speck in your neighbor's eye? Do you not see the log in your own eye? etc It was once illegal for people of different races to marry but the law changed and I am sure there were many who objected, some may have had religious reasons. The law sees beyond such narrow definitions to look at individual rights and the California Supreme Court has done so again.
Please don't hate - vote no on 8 !

[proud patriot]

18. the prop 8 No signs are now popping up

most of the yes on 8 signs are disappearing .

Only a few in people's yards left .

[Name removed]

30. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Sirveri]

19. I share your thoughts

The way CA voted in 2000 showed that people seem to not be as enlightened as I would hope. I for one am voting no, because 2 men or women getting married doesn't scare me. Go civil liberties. But when I think back to 2000 and people with their irrational fear and hatred I just don't have good feelings about 8.

[bridgit]

20. It is personal, you're OP is greatly appreciated, this nation is covered with vast tracts...

of ignorance & bigotry; and this election cycle would seem to not only be pointing that out but for too many exalting it. My sense is that you are both doing everything you are able to make this world a better one, and so I say...

Peace, Life & Love to you & yours, stay centered, healthy & whole :hug:

[hunter]

21. I'm very public with my opposition...

I'll take down "Yes on 8" signs even as the superstitious, fearful bigots are putting them up, and I'm very nice about it too. "I'm sorry sir, ma'm, I find these signs extremely offensive."

I was driving by a whole new crop of new Yes on Eight signs today, thinking I'd pick them up on the way back from my errands, but when I returned saw someone else taking them down.

This Sunday I'll be messing with the "Yes on 8" people in formal shopping center opposition, passing out literature and stuff, but until then I'm thinking about making a few visits (sweet as honey!) to neighbors who have signs in their front yards. I don't ever swipe those private signs, seeing as I figure Californians got a perfect right to identify themselves as intolerant bigots, but maybe I can make them feel ashamed of themselves.

[Sirveri]

22. If you don't want to marry someone of the same sex...

Then feel free to not MARRY them. I don't understand this desire people have to vote yes on 8. Nobody is saying they have to like gay marriage. Hell if they'd just ignore it they would be fine.

[grahamdcarter]

23. how much more personal can this ellection be in general?

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=11767945&blogID=442416498&Mytoken=CC8D578F-7680-4C3A-889E6ED4DE430223183953465


I am telling you this is really personal to me too. From the economy to the prop 8 KEEP fighting, This is a country worth fighting for, and the best state in the union.

If you love California you love this nation keep fighting. Even in the mid state conservative belt we are still fighting for us all...

[bliss_eternal]

24. No apology necessary...

...you have every right to be upset and taking it personally. I feel it's personal.

I'm disturbed and disgusted everytime I see a "Yes on 8" on the back of a car. I really don't need to (or want to) know how many bigots are out walking about among civilized people. I'd really rather they kept their nasty bigotries to themselves. I honestly believe if Fox news didn't exist, people would be ashamed to show support for something so completely intolerant and predjudiced.
Words can't describe how vulgar I believe it is that "hatred" has become so commonplace and socially acceptable.

I'm grateful no one I know has shared their support for this in my presence. I wouldn't hesitate to attempt to shame them for doing so. First I'd ask them if they are going to support possible future proposition proposals for not taxing glbt people, if prop 8 passes. Then go on to ask why a segment of our population that is denied rights under the law, should have to pay taxes when they are denied equal rights under the law? ;)

Hang in there, and know that everyone in California isn't an intolerant nut job, or bigoted and hateful.
:hug:

[Kajsa]

27. No need to apologize, Dr.P.

It IS personal, to me too, a straight, middle aged woman
who has been fighting discrimination since I can remember.

I am fighting this fight for you and for all of us.

As I waited to buy more 'No on 8' stickers and a yard sign
at the Laguna Beach Dem. Club, a young man turned to me
and said, " Thanks so much for your support".

He had six signs under his arm and I knew it was very personal for
him, too!

OK- now I'm tearing up,

I told him, " you are so welcome!"
" This fight is for all of us!"

Just wanted to let you know.

:pals:

[bama2008]

28. voting no here

[Joe Bacon]

31. Yes on 8 signs have popped up like weeds where I am

So sad seeing all these Yes on H8 signs!

[roody]

32. Hang in there! I have my No on 8 bumper sticker on.

No one can see my yard, so no yard sign. Be sure to enjoy your lovely family while you are fighting this.

quoting Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. -- ''The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.''

[succubus.blues]

33. No on 8 here.

I am giving more money today. I just popped in here to RANT on the god damn LIES that the yes on hate people are spewing. I can't take the ignorance!!! :banghead:

[AnAnonymousDemocrat]

34. This is why civil rights should not be left up to a popular vote

When equal rights are left up to the public, hatred usually wins. It sucks, and it's ridiculous for the common people to have the right to overturn a civil rights law. But, that's the way it is in California, I guess.

I have to control my temper when I see a "Yes On 8" sign or bumper sticker. I start to have aggressive (and even violent) thoughts. I hate them.

[slackmaster]

35. I know a couple of older gay men who may be split on the ticket

They've been in a committed relationship since 1970. They were at my neighborhood margarita bar last night, and we chatted about several issues.

One of them is solidly against Prop. 8. His partner, a Catholic priest, would not say how he was going to vote. He has an ideological conflict.

The priest left early, and his partner (who is a realtor and a Southern Baptist) continued the conversation thread with me. He told me that he has accumulated a lot more in assets than the priest (no surprise there), but without a marriage contract bequeathing it to him would be problemmatic and the case would wind up in probate court.

We agreed that the priest's vote would be between him and God, and we respect his right to privacy.

[00barcode]

36. lol

That is hilarious, go Doctor Pedantic!