The Snowsuit

[ScreamingMeemie]

Benjamin-Littlest Benjamin...Last.

I cannot believe it has been so many months since I last spoke your name out loud and let it live with all that is tangible and real in the world.

This snowsuit I hold here will always be your snowsuit. I can almost feel the weight of your bottom against my arm as I rock it/you back and forth there.

Sometimes...

Well, sometimes I wish. I wish for you at the grocery story with me-Dumping saw dust over your head and smiling up at me the way James did when he was small. I wish my little "missing something" family could revel in the laughter I know you would have brought-Just as Emily would have brought quiet..serious...calm that I have always attributed to her, even though I never once gazed into eyes I am sure were green...

...just as the weight of your bottom was only my heart..

...aching in my arms.

[oneighty]

1. Mrs Grumpy

Is there more?

((((hug))))

180

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Not yet, it's a journal entry from last week that I'm thinking of turning

into something. Thanks 180. I miss you.

[JitterbugPerfume]

2. Mrs grumpy

this is heartbreaking . Is it a true story? I lost a son at age seven and again at seventeen (same son) One never gets over it and the grieving lasts forever

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. It hurts. And I just realized the other day that I hadn't said his name

out loud in awhile. I used to start the day out by saying his name to just hear it in the here and now...and I haven't done it lately. Healing maybe. I'm so sorry Jitterbug. :hug:

[joeybee12]

5. Very nice, Mrs. Grumpy...I encourage you to join our online

literary magazine...please see the previous posts...details on its jumpstart to be posted soon!