A Contest! Name That Law!

[LWolf]

<snip>

United States Secretary of Education Arne Duncan has not surprisingly said that he’s open to renaming the “No Child Left Behind Act” something else. Before President Bush, for instance, the Clinton version of the law was called the “Improving America’s Schools Act.” The underlying law is the Elementary and Secondary Education Act, it’s not going anywhere but a new name is likely in the offing.

Howie Schaffer suggested that the time is now to start naming names. So let’s have a contest. The person who offers the best name, decided via a highly arbitrary process involving me and a few friends, wins a signed copy of this picture of DCPS official Justin Cohen in a really tacky frame. Runners-up get books.

A few of the suggestions:

The All American Chidren Are Above Average Act (AACAAAA)

The Garrison Keillor Act

SSTSDM - Stop Standardized Testing So Damn Much-

The No Child Gets Ahead Act.

No Teacher Left Unjaded

Teach to the Test Act

FETA: Federal Education Takeover Act

Every Child Left Behind Act

Teacher Burnout Act

National Testing Services Subsidy Act.
Thinly Veiled Attempt at Totally Destroying Public Education in an Attempt to Privatize Education with Voucher Programs Act.

Also any words to yield the acronym CRAP, HOGWASH, or WORTHLESS.

No Child Left a Dime

No Crony Left Behind

The Unfunded Mandates Statistically Impossible Goals Act

Testing Companies Financial Enrichment Act

No School Left Standing

No Time to Teach–We’re Busy Testing Act

Enrich The Test Publishers While Bankrupting Schools Act

DADA: Dumb America Down Act

The “Everyone is an expert in education except teachers act”

One Size Fits All

And more:

http://www.eduwonk.com/2009/02/a-contest-name-that-law.html

[billybob537]

1. No child left funed act

[LWolf]

2. Or maybe

"No fun left in school" act.

[islandmkl]

3. the Good Luck, Kids Act...

the Old People Don't Need a Future Act...

the Education is for Dummies Act...

the Catch Up to Second- and Third-World Educations Act...

[Whoa_Nelly]

4. Destroy Public Schools Teacher Careers and Student Self-Esteem In One Fell Swoop Act

And those who cannot remember, recite, or write this law as an acronym, and do the percentage point calculations for success or failure, will suffer further losses toward their future education.




No matter the name, the NCLB is one of the worst pieces of legislation after the Patriot Act.

[YvonneCa]

11. ...

...:7

[Reader Rabbit]

5. Soul-less Minions of Orthodoxy Generation Act

Or SMOOGA, for short.

Corporate SMOOs seek to create still more SMOOs, via standardized testing.

[LWolf]

6. SMOOGA

:rofl:

Thanks for relieving a little of my stress with laughter.

The district next door announced a 10 day cut earlier this week. My district is discussing 10-15. I can use any glimmer of humor at this point, no matter how black.

[Reader Rabbit]

7. Here's a glimmer of hope:

The state plans to use a large portion of the stimulus money to keep schools open. Whether not it will allow all districts to remain open for the originally scheduled number of school days remains to be seen, but at least it looks as if there will be fewer days cut from the school year!

[LWolf]

8. That's good to hear.

Every day this week, the conversation has gotten grimmer, more tense, and less friendly between the school board, the superintendent, the teachers, and the community.

So any glimmer of hope is most welcome.

[Sabriel]

9. The Bake Sale Act

Can't pay for the increased spending on testing and resources? Well, get off your ass and hold another god damned bake sale.

[YvonneCa]

10. Out with the Old and In with the...

...New Teachers Act. OOINTA for short. Get rid of those expensive, experienced teachers and replace them with teachers who have no defined benefits...all for the sake of the children.

On second thought, maybe 'No Teacher Left Unjaded' applies. :7

[LWolf]

12. Both of those are certainly accurate.

The relentless campaign to devalue experience certainly wears on one, doesn't it?

[YvonneCa]

13. It retired me three years...

...ahead (and $$ behind) schedule. Health issues made worse by stress. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, either.