Married gay or lesbian DUers, a question.

[Critters2]

I'm looking for flat, frame-able marriage certificates. Most of the ones I find have the phrase "according to the laws of...". These aren't appropriate in states that have not yet achieved marriage equality. Even the UCC ones have this phrase, so I've fired off a blunt e-mail to the head of the UCC publishing house.

So, were you given a marriage certificate if you were married in a religious ceremony in a state that doesn't yet recognize your marriage? If so, do you know where your officiant got your certificate?

Thanks for any help. :hi:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

1. A religious ceremony may give you

a certificate of some kind certifying that a religious ceremony has been performed, but to get a marriage license, you need to get married in a state where it's legal - CT, MA, IA, VT. The civil ceremony, not the religious one, is the one that is controlled and defined by the law. They're the ones who issue the license.

You should ask religious folks who perform ceremonies in jurisdictions where gay marriage has not yet been recognized and codified if they issue certificates of marriage, and where they get them.

Good luck...........

[Critters2]

3. I AM a religious folk who performs ceremonies in a jruisdiction

where gay marriage has not yet been recognized and codified. I'd like to issue certificates of marriage, but even those produced by my own denomination use the phrase "according to the laws...", which doesn't work. I'm trying to find certificates without that phrase.

And I certainly understand the difference between a religious and a civil ceremony.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

5. Design your own

Why not? You would probably do something wonderful for a whole lot of people who are faced with the same kind of problem as you're facing. One of the things we were very careful to avoid during our wedding was that the man conducting the ceremony did NOT (at our instruction) say, "And now, by the power vested in me by the state of ..........."

Instead, he said "By the power vested in me by you," which made the ceremony - we wrote our own vows, too - all ours.

It's good that you understand the difference between the two rituals. Your seeking a "license" suggested otherwise, since only a civil authority grants a valid "license."

You're very welcome.

[Critters2]

8. For the most part, I use my denomination's liturgy,

which doesn't include the "by the power vested in me..." stuff. That's just not part of our service. Neither is the "if anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be joined..." stuff. I co-officiated with an Episcopal priest last year, and didn't realize any one really did that. I thought it was just something TV writers thought we said. So, when the priest asked that, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor!

I may end up designing my own. I think I'll go shopping for certificate paper for printers tomorrow.

Thanks!

[yardwork]

11. The OP doesn't say anything about a license.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

6. Umm...no she didn't say license anywhere in her post

[Critters2]

9. I didn't think I did. I was just about to go back and read it. q

Thanks, Haruka!

[yardwork]

10. Are you a married gay or lesbian?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. I'd ask Pacifist Patriot

She might know.

[Critters2]

4. Good idea. Thanks, Haruka!

I'll also look at the UUA website.

Again, thanks!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. Yeah, she gave us a marriage certificate when she married us

I forget the wording on it, though, and it's not hung up yet. Most of our wall hangings are still in storage.

[HillWilliam]

12. I'm an officiant in NC

NC doesn't recognize same-sex unions at all, so I print my own. I found some really nice stock with gold leafing at Office Depot and downloaded a beautiful font (ChopinScript) and started from scratch. There just isn't anything available for us, really.

I'm going through the opposite end right now. My wonderful partner of 13+ years finally said "it's time" so we're off to Vermont later this year for a civil ceremony and my uncle will be performing our Holy Union when we get back home that same week. Groomzilla here is hating every frickin' invitation I see. I'm going to wind up designing my own, it looks like.

Gay marriage may be progressing, but stationery hasn't. I've got an OP coming on in a day or two.