I did it! I did it! I did it!

[pro_blue_guy]

I don't want to brag, but I am so relieved. Today I finally came out to my parents and sister (after I realized I was gay since I was 15 years old; currently I am 20 years old). My dad was his usual self (always hard to express his thoughts verbally) but he was accepting and told me that it was okay. My mom was very supportive and told me that I will always be her son no matter what and that all she wanted was for me to be happy in my life. And my sister was okay with it as well. She told me "I thought so." :)




I don't know if this needed it's own topic, but I am just so happy that I needed to tell :)

[Tace]

1. This Is A Great Story

All the best to you, my friend. It's wonderful that you have a loving and supportive family.

[babylonsister]

2. I think you are very lucky you come from a family

that loves and accepts you! That's great news! :hug: :woohoo: Congrats!

[enough]

4. Agreed, and THEY are lucky to have you.

It's a great gift for parents to have children who are open and trusting with them and share their real lives with them.

Congratulations to you and your family.

[MissWaverly]

3. I am glad that all is well

Hooray for you and your family!

[TriMetFan]

5. I'm happy for you.

I bet your happy that ton of rocks is finally of your shoulders. I know I was when my parents asked me if I was a lesbian. My mom and dad are my best Friends.

[Zenlitened]

6. Congratulations, and hats off to you!

Does this need it's own topic? I think it's the best topic of the day!

This is such a big step for you, and to know that your family is there by your side must be so incredibly gratifying. I'm very happy for you.

:applause:

[hwmnbn]

7. Far out, pro_blue_guy.....

congrats for your honesty, courage, and especially your beautiful family. Hearing your story made me smile.

You'd be surprised how many of us heteros want you to be happy too.

Thanks for sharing such an important moment with us. :grouphug:

[shockingelk]

8. Congrats to you (and your family)

I bet you feel great.

[az chela]

9. Welcome

My nephew who is gay had never told anyone and he finally told me about 8 yrs ago in an email and I told him I thought it was great and he was so afraid to tell his mom,he had even faked being engaged to a girl and I told him just tell her ,she loves you and she wont care so he did and after he told her he said he never has been so happy in his life and actually felt free.He is still with his partner and very happy.
The only disgraceful thing about not admitting who you really are is that you always have to live in fear.
I am his proud aunt and love him very much!!!!!

[catmother]

10. what a wonderful story. i am so happy for you and your family.

i'm sure you'll all have a wonderful holiday.

[DU9598]

11. Congrats

I came out to my parents six years ago and life has never been better not hiding who I truly am.

[GrumpyGreg]

12. Good for you ! Feels good I'll bet. Thanks for sharing.

[bigwillq]

13. Good for you!

It's a big step. Your family seems to be taking it very well. You are lucky.
Mine were pretty good. Dad better then Mom, which shocked me. I though Dad would be a hard ass about it.
But my mom has come around.
She loves my boyfriend.

Coming out was the best decision I made!


Enjoy! :hi:

[tuvor]

14. Congrats, pbg!

Glad it went so well!

[Talismom]

15. Congratulations! I suspect that from here on in, most other hurdles will

seem easy stuff by comparison. Best of luck to you!

[CottonBear]

16. That's great! Congratulations!

I wish that I, a hetero-girl, got along with her family as well as you do with yours! You are very lucky and brave! I had a good friend come out at age 40 to his parents. They still love him. The sad thing was, he almost took his life rather than tell them at one point.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[tk2kewl]

17. Congrats and good job!

and your very lucky to have understanding parents. My brother and dad had a much more difficult time. of course that was 20 years ago, though

[MuseRider]

18. Of course it needs it's own thread!

Good for you. I'll bet you feel really good about being open and honest and the best part is they love you no matter what. This is as it should be. Brag away, you deserve to be very happy.

I have no idea what this is like. My brother did not even tell me he was gay until he was 47 years old and dying! I wish it had not been like that for him. Of course he knew it would be OK with me but it might have been easier for him all those years if he had trusted that. Don't know. I guess what I am trying to say is that I think it must be a very difficult thing to do under any circumstance.

:applause:

[Miss Chybil]

19. Must be a big weight off your shoulders.

My sister called me in Germany to tell me. (I was in the Army.) She woke me up at 3 a.m.. I remember her exact words: "Well, I just called to tell you I'm gay and I have a girlfriend. I was so disoriented I just said, "O.k..."

We all knew she was gay. I was good to just have it out in the open. As for her girlfriend? Her family disowned her. I don't know how people do that. I'm glad your family loves you just the way you are.

[CoffeeCat]

20. Round of applause!

You must feel like you just lifted an anchor from your shoulders!

And to lift it, and then get all of that love and acceptance--is really wonderful.

I am so happy for you.

Your family is fortunate to have such an amazing person in their lives, and you are fortunate to have them as well.

I'm particularly amazed by your father. You said that he has a tough time expressing his thoughts verbally. He probably keeps a great deal to himself. I bet you were most worried about his reaction--because of his communication style. I'm so glad that you rec'd the support that you did.

What a blessing.

I hope you take some time to soak in all of this love and acceptance and truly appreciate these gifts. You deserve it all!

[pro_blue_guy]

33. Thank you, everyone!

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words. I am kind of shocked by all of these responses from everyone; I didn't expect it! :grouphug:

TwoSparkles---You are exactly right. My dad keeps a lot to himself and doesn't know how to express things (my mom always tells me that, but everyone in my family knows how my dad is :)). And he was the one I was most worried about telling. Like I said in my first post, he said it was okay. But he was really quiet and I know he'll be kind of quiet for a while (not because he doesn't love me or like me, but--as in most circumstances with any issue--he doesn't really know how to react or communicate well). I don't have a problem with that, because that is how he always was and will always be :)

Like I said, they were all very accepting and affirmed their love for me. But as in most cases (I would presume), it was extremely awkward and A LOT of tears were cried. I must admit, I'm no tough guy; I cried a lot (not because I am gay, but because I was so relieved to tell them and receive their good reactions). I told myself to expect the worst, purposely knowing in the back of my head that I shouldn't have worried about negative reactions. My mom cried because she said she was glad I had told them and she wanted me to live a good life. She said she cannot understand why some people are intolerant of homosexuality.

My parents also told me that this issue is "to be continued....." because there will be more they want to talk about. But I fully expected that! :)



And yes, there is a BIG weight lifted off of my shoulders. But I still expect uphill battles and struggles ahead of me (kind of nerve-wracking, to say the least). I've told myself that coming out to my parents and sister is only the first step; I have to be prepared to come out to others when the situation arises.



Thank you all once again for your support. I am so grateful for you all and your comments---AND for DU!

[kansasblue]

21. congrats, your relationship should improve with the honesty

[Sapphocrat]

22. Woo hoooooooo!

I'm thrilled you did it, and delighted your family is behind you!
:headbang: :party: :bounce: :toast: :applause:

[snot]

23. Good for you -- congrats!!! --nt

[hiley]

24. Congratulations!

peace

[applegrove]

25. Very happy for you. And sorry you have to live in this world right now.

Sorry for all the hate.

[WhollyHeretic]

26. Congratulations! It's great that your family was supportive.

:toast: :bounce: :party:

[Meldread]

27. Congratulations! I got a tear in my eye...

...because I am so happy things turned out so well for you. If only all coming out stories were as great as yours.

[kweerwolf]

28. Best wishes to you, pro_blue_guy!

I spent most of today in a summit with other gay groups making plans for fighting the next wave of anti-gay legislation. It's frustrating at times when you feel like you're trying to drain an ocean of hate and homophobia with a tea cup.

There were times today when I caught myself wondering, Why do I bother fighting an uphill battle?

Then I read your post tonight and I remember why so many of us keep on fighting for our rights, even when the odds are stacked against us.

Thanks for the uplift! :hi:

[MsKandice01]

29. What tremendous relief you must feel...

Congratulations!!

[NMMNG]

30. Congratulations pro blue guy!

I'm glad you finally felt comfortable enough to come out, and that your family was so supportive of you. :applause:

[Gelliebeans]

31. Hats off to you

It is great to hear that you have a supportive family.

[OregonBlue]

32. And now your life can really begin!!

[terrya]

34. These are the coming out stories I love to read about.

I like hearing everyone's coming out story...each is different and unique. But I especially love reading the ones where the family is wholly accepting. :-)

Thanks
Terry

[davidinalameda]

35. congrats!

:party:

[Ioo]

36. Way to Go!!!

[ThatsMyBarack]

37. Congrats!

Thanks for sharing! :applause:

[Jella]

38. Reading about all the anti-gay

legislation, including a biggy in my home state has drained me, so this news was welcomed.

I too was surprised that I had more problems with my Mom. She eventually was supportive of me, and even though they're both gone now, my Mom just last year, she had told me that she was proud of whom I had become.

It's of great comfort to have your parents in your corner, as I moved through the community, and the fact that I've had 20 years to hear others stories, I know that I was one of the lucky ones.

Congrats!

[SnowBack]

39. That is SO great to hear!

Congratulations! Hug your parents for me!

[mzmolly]

40. BRAVO !!!

I am so happy for you. And, I am pleased that your family is supportive. What a wonderful blessing that is!

:toast:

[Maat]

41. Congrats!

I'm proud of you!

I'm glad to hear that your family was supportive.


This PFLAGer thinks it might be a good idea to go to:

http://www.pflag.org/index.php?id=189 and find a chapter near you.

But then I'm biased - I'm Vice President of the local PFLAG here in the Temecula Valley in Southern California. We have a couple of sets of parents in our chapter that are absolutely wondeful at helping provide emotional support to other parents and siblings of GLBT individuals. The members educate, advocate and provide emotional support. Our particular chapter is composed of parents, siblings, and friends. We have parents of gays and lesbians and bisexuals, and gays and lesbians and bisexuals themselves. We all gather together to advocate.

Our parents and siblings feel that our chapter is a good thing because they are then hanging around affirmative, positive people, rather than those than demean others.

With me, I have an 'adopted' sister who is a lesbian and in a committed relationship.

Take care!

[bigscott]

42. this is one

of the best things you will ever do for yourself. I did the same thing 6 years ago - came out to parents, WIFE, friends - the whole 9 yards!! liberating to say the least - CONGRATS!!:beer:

[Oceansaway]

43. Hooray !!

.... the weight is off your shoulders now.... ( blood runs thick )
its great that you have a supportive family !!

[BR_Parkway]

44. Way to go, for both you and your family!

[Brian_Expat]

45. YAY!

Glad it went well for you :)

[EFerrari]

46. Good going. Congratulations!

:toast:

[IndyOp]

47. Congratulations!

Hugs to you - who did GREAT - :hug:

Hugs to your mom and dad and sister, too - :hug: :hug: :hug:

:hi:

[CrispyQ]

48. Good for you!

I'm glad you have a supportive family. Your mom sounds wonderful!

Have a fabulous weekend!


:hug:

[pro_blue_guy]

49. Roadblock.

Once again thank you all for being so kind. But it seems I have hit a roadblock. My dad came home from work today and showed me his true colors. I was home by myself and he asked me to sit down and talk with him. I knew something was up; but last night I did tell both of my parents that I wanted to know their thoughts and views.


Well, it turns out my dad is homophobic and views homosexuality as a "not normal" CHOICE (even though I kept telling him it's not a choice). But don't judge him just yet. :) He went on to tell me he cried all night (I was shocked because the only time I saw him cry was when his own father died several years ago). Anyhow, he reaffirmed his love of me and concern for my well-being but said he just couldn't understand how I'm gay. Knowing him for 20 years, I never expected him to. Well, this is a roadblock. But it is nothing that I can't work at. It takes him a long time to change his views and attitudes; but I know he always respects me and is proud of me for my accomplishments (I'm the first person on his side of the family to earn an Associates Degree)---and because of that I know he will understand, someday! :)


My spirits are not down; I still have a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. And I am grateful for all I have---AND I can't wait until I start at my new college this January! My parents both want me to earn that Bachelor's Degree.



PS. My mom and sister are behind me all the way :)

[kweerwolf]

53. Don't lose hope

I have friends in PFLAG who are fond of saying, "When a child comes out of the closet, his parents go into a closet."

It's takes times for them adjust to incorporating your new information into their view. You are the same person you always were, but it will take your dad time to come to terms with it.

I believe it's a very good sign that he was able to talk with you and share his feelings. He just needs time to accept what he sees as a new and different you.

It's also a positive thing that your mother and sister are behind you. They'll be a good influence on your father and help him see that, though he might see you in a different light now, your decision to come out was really an act of love and a statement of your belief that you love your family enough to share this important part of your life with them.

[CrispyQ]

54. Totally ditto on what kweerwolf said.

That your Dad was willing to talk to you means so much! It's obvious he loves you very much & is trying to find a way through what is a very unexpected & perhaps, confusing situation for him.

I think you have a great mindset & I think your Dad is going to come to terms with the unexpected.

The very best to you & your family!

[FuzzyDicePHL]

60. And furthermore

I find that telling people I'm gay sometimes causes them to think about it in an abstract way. If, in the future, you find someone with whom you click and build a solid, loving relationship, your dad may see being gay in an entirely different way.

Congratulations on telling your family, and I agree that you have a great mindset. You and all the posters on this thread have given me a very happy start to my day. :)

[Maat]

63. At the right time ...

encourage him to find his local chapter of PFLAG; the parents in these groups are superb at helping other parents.

(see my previous post above)

( www.pflag.org )

[ruggerson]

65. Sounds like you have the right attitude

Your dad has years and years of society's lies and brainwashing affecting his views on gays. So it's no fault of his own, just a reflection of how he was brought up and what he has gleaned from the world.

You will be the thing that changes him. The reason he said that he couldn't understand how you could be gay is because he has absorbed all the lies society tells about gays and has accepted them as truths for years. Now you come along, someone whom he loves with all his heart, and you totally turn his "truth" upside down.

He will, over time, begin to realize that YOU are the truth and that the ingrained bigotry against gays was the LIE. So, you will be the agent for his change and his understanding and his awakening.

So, enjoy it! It will be a great process, both for you and for him.

[Olney Blue]

50. Now you really have a place to call home.

:loveya:

I'm happy for you!!!!!!!

[roguevalley]

51. this is so wonderful. Good for you and your family.

[Jella]

52. One thing I can't stress enough to my younger gay brothers....

is please get an education! I'm so happy that you are going to get your degree. Not only does that help you in your life in general, you can go onto enjoy the better things in life, thus it shows your parents that you are doing what you set out to do.

I come from a generation where kids where left to fend for themselves, many as young as 14. Many of those hadn't spoke to their parents in better than 20 years.

Keep that dialog open, as I'm sure you'll do. As the years have gone by, I understand way more now, how it affects men, and Dads in particular. The thought of two men, and especially one being his boy, is disturbing to them, but as they let those images go, and see how happy you are, it will get easier for them.

Good luck, and finish that schooling!!! PLEASE!

[PeebZ]

55. well done

it is hard to come out but once its done then it gets easyer

So in concluding well done M8 :thumbsup:

[insleeforprez]

56. Good job!

Coming out is amazingly difficult, but you'll be very glad that you did.

[Demogal67]

57. good for you!!!!

Good for you. I bet you feel very relieved. I hope life treats you very well. :party: :toast:

Demogal67

[dsc]

58. Congradulations

You have lifted a huge weight off your shoulders and I for one am very happy for you. Keep on keeping on.

[WindRavenX]

59. AWESOME

GREAT NEWS!! It feels GREAT to hear these POSITIVE stories for a change :hug:

[LittleOne]

61. Fantastic

Be kind to your Dad. Poor guy has to deal with "what he did wrong". He will come around (any father that admits he cried all night has great potential).

It was easier on my Dad because his child is a lesbian so there was no assault to his masculinity. In fact I am quite sure him teaching me how to change my own tire caused it all :)

[Smarmie Doofus]

62. Savor the moment, pro. How many votes needed for...

'greatest thread'?

[ruggerson]

64. Hey, Congrats

And it's great that did it in such a positive way.

Very cool. I bet you're relieved.

[pro_blue_guy]

66. Thank you!

Thank you all! :)

Things are going very well for me! I am just glad that I don't have anything to hide anymore. :)

[Not Me]

68. You Dad will come around.

It took my Dad about a month to realize that everything I said to him and Mom was because I wanted them to know me in my entirety. His 'line' was he just didn't understand this gay thing. But he did know that I spent a long time troubled about 'something', and that bothered him, so he was able to see the weight lifted off me. And before long we were doing things together again, joking and really communicating like we had never done.

He's in his final days here now, slowly his body is failing him. I am so glad that we have had these years to be close.

[BeeBee]

67. Congratulations!

:toast: