Under the Mithras-toe

[kweerwolf]

My precious holiday is under attack! Forlorn, ignored, and censored from secular governments, I feel oppressed!

Of course I'm not talking about Christmas, the most over-hyped, commercialized holiday ever. Scary Fox News moron Bill O'Reilly's been ranting about the "War on Christmas" nonstop. Conveniently, his Fox News co-worker John Gibson churned out a slanted book on just the subject, and the right-wing media pundits have been tugging their sleigh full of bias like OxyContin-drugged reindeer ever since.

However, Christmas is doing quite well here in red-state "election fraud central" Ohio, from where I'm writing. One local woman made front-page news with her collection of 28 Christmas trees.

My faux-faith has no such excess. I'm talking about Mithras , the "light of the world," "the good shepherd," who invented the ritual of communion long before the Vatican popularized its own brand of Nilla wafers. Mithras was the first savior-type to be born on December 25, with shepherds in attendance, since they had yet to pair off on Brokeback Mountain. Any astute theologian knows that Jesus was born in October. I don't know why people look at me strangely when, come Halloween, I say, "Merry Christmas!"

http://www.ebar.com/columns/column.php?sec=sports