In church today I heard about a 14 year old kid who killed himself

[dsc]

because he couldn't face telling his parents he was gay. This pisses me off no end. 16 years ago this month it was me who had decided on suicide. I couldn't face telling my parents I was gay. It was only the fact they would have found out anyway that kept me from killing myself.

I can't help blaming the people who put iniatives on the ballot banning gay marriage and adoption. I can't help blaming the people who preach hatred from their pulpits. I can't help blaming the people who call people fag and gay when they want a ready insult. I can't help blaming the people who equate being gay with being evil and thus all kinds of evil people had to be gay. This kid was born after I decided to off myself. Yet, he still is gone.

I want to live to see the day when no teen kills him or her self for fear of telling the parents they are gay. Our kids deserve better than this.

[swimmernsecretsea]

1. I recall reading stats on teen suicides

and wondering how many of them were the result of self-hatred of their homosexuality. I'd struggled with this myself, attempting once. I asked many of my friends if they'd had this experience themselves, and if they hadn't attempted, had thought of it. More often it was because of constant threats and harrassment, or rejection of their families.

[w8liftinglady]

2. That is so sad..

I have always tried to let my kids know i love them unconditionally....and i do.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

3. Hey, DSC, I have no words-

Just glad you're alive.

I can't belive this shit still has to happen.

FWIW- I had my bags all packed when I came out to my parents just in case they wanted me to "GET OUT." I had a plan, and even a place to go.

Now that is not a healthy thing for a teenager to have to worry about.

:hug:

In fact, :grouphug: for all of us.

[dsc]

4. thanks and it isn't

I have to wonder when we finally won't though.

[murielm99]

5. My daughter told me that when she was 17,

and winning every major academic and music award around, she wanted to kill herself. She had just begun to come out to herself.

She waited until she was 19 and had a way to take care of herself before she told me. I had sort of figured it out anyway, and let her know that I did not have a problem with gay people. Hell, she already knew about my gay brother.

I was sad that she felt that way, that I might reject her. But it really is the safest way for kids. They need to be as ready as possible for that very real rejection, and ready to take care of themselves. No wonder so many of them suicide.

Most sympathetic parents wish that their kids had shared their feelings and their pain earlier. But I understand.

What a shitty world we create by being so afraid of everything that is other.

[dsc]

6. Honestly the fears are often irrational

but very real nonetheless. In my case I thought I would be protecting them from a truth they didn't want to know. I was trying to preserve the image they had of me, instead of the true picture. I felt at the time they deserved a better son.

[swimmernsecretsea]

8. How awful that we have to have a plan like that.

My father found a letter I'd written, and had put inside a drawer in my desk. He confronted me at midnight by pulling me out of bed, yelling at me for the next four hours, throwing cold water on me, punching and kicking me, and when I ran out of the house to a friend's house, the next day I saw he'd thrown all of my things on the front lawn.

[dsc]

11. Wow I am so sorry

I hope things got better after that. 1 out of 4 gays and lesbians are estranged from their parents.

[Hissyspit]

13. And I'm not glad to hear that, swimmernsecretsea

You have an apology from at least this heterosexual. Do you have any relationship with your parents at all now?

[serryjw]

14. OMG, how horrible

Did you ever talk to him again? Glad you are still with us. I lived on both coastlines most of my life, Atlanta which is the NY of the south and Denver. All right in the city. I went to school and work with more gay people than straight for over 30 years. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in homophobic small minded towns, especially when you are just young and coming out. Teen years are so tough if you are straight, Can't imagine if you are gay and confused about your sexuality

[murielm99]

19. I live in a small farming community that actually has a gay

community. Some of our gay people here are highly respected by the entire community. I only knew a few of them until my daughter came out. Then, I met more and found out how much more tolerant my community is than I imagined.

Get real people. If you can imagine gay cowboys, you can surely deal with gay farmers. I know some.

[swimmernsecretsea]

22. I left that day

And never came back. And then I never spoke to my father again. 11 years later, he died without speaking to me. Obviously, if he was capable of that behavior, he'd done other violent things to me. He broke my nose when he thought I'd "talked back" once. He was a religious conservative who used to harrass me by calling me at work and asking if I still went to church and then mailing me bibles. I'd stopped going after a priest spent 1 and a half hours shrieking about the evils of homosexuality. My being gay only gave him a greater excuse to abuse me physically and mentally. He directed my brothers and sisters to call me names as well, which they didn't. Living in that house in my teen years was absolute hell on earth, only matched by when I went to school and was harrassed and picked on there. I was much more obviously gay then. Sometimes I wonder how I got through those years.

My mother, on the other hand, was the one who'd taught me art and culture, and interceded when he hit me. I was angry for years at her for letting him hurt me, but I've forgiven her. She was immigrated from the Philippines where marriages are more traditional and never questioned, and didn't have many friends because he'd driven them all away. She was angry herself at what he'd done, too.

[serryjw]

35. I am so sorry

Your father was a mean, angry man and he lost out on not having a terrific son. Hope life is better for you now.

[Skittles]

7. when I was 14 I moved from England to a small town in Iowa

I remember telling a confused young schoolmate he was gay.....and him acting like it was the end of the world. I told him, hey, there are a lot of gay folk, there are other places than this..........just bide your time and find one when you're older and you will be fine. He contacted me decades later and told me that is exactly what he did.

[Hissyspit]

9. I'm glad to hear that story, Skittles.

It's good to hear something uplifting every so often. Good for you.

[katinmn]

39. Nice! Good thing he had you to talk to.

:hug:

[unsavedtrash]

10. When I came out I thought my only option was suicide because I came from a

fanatical racist, deeply Southern, right wing family. I did attempt it and to my horror my 13 year old sister found me. She has never forgiven me for trying to leave her. Somehow I found the strength to live as myself family be damned. I was disowned and left to the world without a dollar in my pocket. After a year of not knowing whether I was dead or alive my mom put out private investigators to find me. Even after I agreed to come see her She would not hug me and soaked everything I drank or ate from in bleach. She said it was to keep from catching AIDS. She assumed that because I was a lesbian that I had AIDS and that I wanted to have sex with all females, she and my sisters included. One of the positives of my failing in killing myself was that a few years later that same little sister who found me also came out. Imagine if I had left her to fend off family and the world by herself. Imagine if she would have taken my death as the only option for herself. I know it's a good thing to show positive lives of adult gays and lesbians but we really need to try and reach out to the young in our community and MAKE them understand there is nothing wrong with them and life is not over but a wonderful adventure is in store for them. I was an 18 year old kid when I tried and now as a 36 year old woman I can say that I would never give up this life, these loves I have known, and the absolute possibilities of a very bright and fulfilling future.

[dsc]

12. wow

I am glad you came out OK and hope your sister is well. It is nothing short of amazing how many of us either seriously plan or try to commit suicide.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

54. I just burst out crying.

I'm glad we're okay and typing here on DU today.

I have to admit that I tried. I wasn't found. I didn't know that I was gay. I just knew that I hated myself and felt so differerent. And yes, this was in good ol "liberal" New York City.

I'm okay today.

One day I picked up the phone as my role as co-chair of the LGBT group at my university and heard the message on the machine: a young man was so scared- he had a gun to his head. He saw no reason to live as a gay man. I can't reveal anymore. And I never learned what happened to that kid.

[Skittles]

16. I have to ask

what's with "unsavedtrash"? I am not sure what to think about that because you seem like a person who has survived unimaginable hardships and pulled through with amazing dignity. Surely you are not referring to yourself.

[unsavedtrash]

18. because I am not Christian and here in the South a lot of times if one is

not then they are called trash. I actually came across the name at the Betty Bowers site. http://bettybowers.com/ and it completely tickled me so born was unsaved trash. It is an acceptance of difference and a laugh in the face to those who think that not being Christian is a bad thing.

[Skittles]

20. alright

as long as it is tongue-in-cheek, I can go along with that; I live in the south and I know what you mean. :hi:

[wake.up.america]

17. Touching story, well written. Thank you for helping me understand...

even more, how difficult it is.

I'll certainly be more considerate and understanding.

[undergroundpanther]

15. An instance

Where belief is used to hurt someone.

Beliefs can be used to hurt people,really they can.
One persons religion is anothers scourge when there is no room in that belief for empathy with a scapegoated dehumanized denied victim who is suffering because of said belief.

[wiley]

21. Glad you're still here

Glad you're still enraged. We all should be. I fight with homophobes every day. I make sure to mention that their anti-gay messages are killing both gay, undecided and insecure kids who need an environment to grow, not fear and hate themselves. The Radical Religious Right calls that having a "gay agenda". I call it being pro-life.

[xchrom]

23. i came out to friends when i was 18 but couldn't come out to

my parents until i was 25.

my parents reaction then was that it was a sin against god and everything else.

i was already moved out of the house -- so i was ready for anything.

fortunately my folks and i love each other more than any thing -- and they grew and learned -- but i know and have known many, many for who that is not true.

the saddest part is that so many churches provide an ever renewing well for their hate -- and so they are never faced with having to change.

the stories here are -- like so many coming out stories -- tragic beyond compare -- but look at the magnificent triumph and beauty which every one managed to overcome with.

that's gay people for you -- we are beautiful, wonderful and magical creatures -- we are simply and finally the best and looking at this thread makes me glad once again -- as i always am -- to be gay.

[libnnc]

24. That is so sad and it hits home for so many of us

Hits home for so many of us who had the same train of thought when we were teenagers. Do I slit my wrists in the bathtub or hang on just long enough to get out of town? I asked myself that when I was 16. My only ray of light was in reading Rita Mae Brown's "Rubyfruit Jungle". We should be outraged that we've been put in the position of making that kind of decision in the first place.

GLBTQ Visibility in the media DOES matter. As much as I bitch about the images of us--so often we're either clowns (Will & Grace) or tragic figures (The Children's Hour, Well of Loneliness)--but at least we exist. Yes, I get pissed at the L Word's ignoring socio-economic/class issues. It's Knots Landing for lesbians really, but hell at least it's on the tee-vee at all.

Being gay/lesbian/bi in rural America is an exercise in loneliness and desperation. It shouldn't be.

All of us GLBTers here at DU should make a donation to our local P-FLAG group or GLBT youth advocacy organization in memory of this young person.

And light a candle too. :cry:

[Cults4Bush]

31. Oh Wow!!!

I wasn't going to post in here, I try not to drag out my own memories on this subject... but Rubyfruit Jungle!! Ye gods it saved my life as well, just knowing that I was more normal than I thought. Knowing there was a great culture out there waiting for me if I wanted it. Knowing that my experiences of abuse, of experimentation, of desperate needs was not so out of the ordinary. I had multiple suicide attempts and a couple nearly worked, the trouble (well not trouble...) with pills is that someone will likely find you before you're all the way gone. I tried several times with pills because I didn't want to leave a mess. Finally I got hold of my dads gun (he actually hid it really well) and was off to do the deed in some field. As luck had it, he happened to notice some of his things out of place when he came home a bit later and I guess knew right away what was going on. He found me maybe 5 minutes before I got to where I was going (small towns, go figure). He was crying when he found me... and I still lied about why I was going to do it.

My point I guess, is that I had a pretty cool and caring family and I still couldn't divulge what was really "wrong" with me. We must all of us strive constantly to establish compassionate culture within society.
Compassion and empathy are the only things that will lead the masses away from their hate and bigotry.

... But Rubyfruit Jungle though... man I got in trouble big time in 8th grade for passing that book around and some of the boys had probs with it but several girls really took to it, I wonder if they ever came out. I had gender ID issues, so coming out wasn't the problem figuring out why I wanted to be a girl so bad was. I wish I would have just opened up to my family and acknowledged it early on (this need stemmed from pre puberty), and started doing research on SRS (do they still call it that???). I could have made plans and money and gone through with it when I was young with few problems, if had just been honest and open with my family. Now... now I just have to pass off my manly self knowing Im a woman inside. My own fault in so many ways...

Lol! see Im still all fucked up and confused about it.

Anyways your post opened up an avalanche of memory for me, thank you.

[hunter]

40. "GLBTQ Visibility in the media DOES matter."

It matters very much.

Still there are some kids and young adults who are so indoctrinated against homosexuality that they can't make the leap from "some people are homosexuals" to I am a homosexual.

Everyone, not just the GLBTers here at DU should consider making a donation their local P-FLAG group or GLBT youth advocacy organization.

[MadisonProgressive]

25. I've been having feelings that my 15 year old may be gay

I listen to GLBT radio when he's in the car, and let him know that a persons sexual orientation is their own business and they have a right to marry, etc., and not be discriminated against. I told him how wrong it is for the Wisconsin legislators to want to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage, and told him how ashamed I would be if this happened. I don't want my kid to think I would disapprove of him so he ends up killing himself. I will love and support him no matter how he turns out.

[gordianot]

26. Good attitude.

I have seen 15-16 year olds decide they were gay and then change (very rare) their minds regarding orientation. It is a personal choice, High School is a hard place.

[MadisonProgressive]

27. That's so right

That's why I want him to have all the information he can and have no pressure so he can truly figure this out by himself. The only advice I could give him is that he has to do what's right for HIM, not for society or anyone else.

[readmoreoften]

45. You parents are doing the right thing.

My parents always told me that if I was gay that would be fine by them, so long as I settled down with a nice girl. They also said that they believed that gay people were a part of nature. Coming out was still difficult because I knew the world I lived in, but knowing that my parents would support me made it MUCH EASIER to be confident in the world and not question my self-worth.

[klook]

29. That is a great approach

When my kids were younger I told them that although I was not gay myself, there's nothing wrong with homosexuality, and we should always respect people's lifestyle choices. I wanted to make sure that 1) they never picked on gay classmates and 2) if they later determined that they were gay themselves, they would know that they didn't need to fear losing my love over it.

They both turned out to be straight and are adults now, but if either of them were gay (or later becomes gay) that would absolutely be fine with me.

These stories of rigid, absolutist, intolerant parents are disturbing. I'm very sorry for those who've had to endure such abuse from their parents. It just goes to show the importance of finding your real family if your birth family is toxic.

That's why "Black Sheep" by Karen Finley is such a strong poem.

...we are members of the
Black Sheep family -

We are sheep with no shepherd -
We are sheep with no straight and narrow
We are sheep with no meadow
We are sheep who take the dangerous
pathway thru the mountain range
to get to the other side of our soul.
We are the black sheep of the family
called Black Sheep folk.
We always speak our mind.
appreciate differences in culture
believe in sexual preferences
believe in no racism no sexism no religionism
and we'll fight for what we believe
but usually we're pagans,
There's always one in every family
Even when we're surrounded by bodies
we're always alone -
You're born alone
and you die alone
written by a black sheep.
You can't take it with you -
written by a former black sheep.
Black Sheep folk look different from their family -
The way they look at the world
We're a quirk of nature -
We're a quirk of fate -
Usually our family, our city, our country
never understands us -
We knew this from when we were very young
that we were not meant to be understood.
That's right. That's our job....

More at http://www.creativetime.org/citywide/past_proj/finley.html

[dsc]

30. Neat poem

I think that high school and middle school taught me well the meaning of being alone in a crowd. It is a very strange and lonely feeling. But it also led to a self reliant streak in me that has served me pretty well.

[JudyM]

33. Your post brought tears to my eyes. What a loving effort.

I was in the car recently with my brother and his 14 year old daughter, whom I suspect may eventually come out... they all know I prefer being with women, but my brother said something to the effect of why can't I just find a nice guy and settle down... I was speechless. Fortunately my sis-in-law is not at all homophobic so my neice will at least be able to talk to her if she comes out. But my brother really disappointed me, after my being out for about 20 years, to say something disparaging like that... The nice part of the story is that I spoke with my folks about this, who have come a *long* way in these 20 years, and they were supportive of me and also disappointed in my brother.

[dsc]

34. That is a good thing you are doing

If he does turn out gay he will have a heck of a head start in life thanks to you and if he isn't, he still will have benefited.

[Obamarama]

47. Have you asked him his opinion on these issues?

It might give him an opening to open up and confide in you. Also have you ever articulated something along the lines of "If you or one of your brothers or sisters turned out to be gay, you'd still be loved and remain a part of our family no matter what."

I think the way you are approaching it is just fine, and bravo to you for letting your son know your opinions. the above is just food for thought :-) Wish I would have had parents like you!

[Mythsaje]

28. I mentioned to a co-worker

last year that my wife and I had gone to the pride parade in Seattle. She gave me an odd look and said she wasn't really comfortable with gays. Asked how I'd react if one of my boys came to me and told me he was gay.

I smiled and told her "I'd tell him to be careful and that I loved him." Thankfully I don't believe his mother would have a problem with it either. It would certainly throw her, but she'd be okay with it in the long run.

I wish more parents could see things more clearly. Our kids, gay or straight, need our support and understanding.

[roguevalley]

32. I hope that day comes soon. God bless all the vulverable and

young. God bless the beasts and children. Everywhere.

[seemunkee]

36. Hugs and hope for all

:grouphug:
Both of my kids have belonged to the gay straight alliance at their high school. One of my daughters best friends is a lesbian. I can't imagine not loving my child because of who they are.

[DawgHouse]

37. This is so sad.

[RazzleDazzle]

38. I want to see that plus

no child goes to bed praying to wake up either hetero or dead.

That's what one author of a book on growing up gay in the South used to do. I don't recall his name, but obviously I found his experience riveting.

[bobbieinok]

41. if you haven't seen this: dedication to her gay son by VERY popular

romance novelist Suzannes Brockmann in her book Hot Target

http://www.indeath.net/index.php?showtopic=4841

To my fabulous son, Jason:

Even as a tiny child, your smile could outshine the sun, and your cheerful disposition and kind nature made you countless friends. Everyone who met you loved you!

At three, walking became too mundane for you. Instead, wherever you went, you danced. And occasionally you swished! One of the first times you did that, your dad looked at me. “Where did he learn that?” I shrugged. We didn't let you watch TV. “Got me. It’s just... Jason being Jason.” I said, and went off to play with you and your vast collection of cars and action figures.

At eight, you discovered musical theater. You wanted to sing and dance onstage, so you auditioned for a semipro production. You were just a little too young, but you charmed the director and became the tiniest pickpocket in an eight-week run of Oliver.

Your dad loved Stevie Wonder, and I, a former rock-and-roller, was in my country music phase. “What’s with all the show tunes?” your grandmother asked me when you played the soundtrack to Secret Garden over and over again. I smiled. “It’s just Jason being Jason.”

At nine, you had a class project—write a letter to someone you admire. “Why Bette Midler?” I asked when you told me your choice. “She's my favorite actor in the world,” you proclaimed after watching Ruthless People thirty times in a row. She wrote back, and you framed her signed picture, putting it in a place of honor on your dresser.

“Wow, that's interesting,” I said to your dad, after we once again agreed that Jason was truly unique. “I wonder if he likes Cher, too?”

(You did! Along with Bernadette Peters and Debbie Reynolds and . . .)

At ten, you went to see a show that featured an actor friend you'd made while appearing as Winthrop Paroo in The Music Man. On the ride home, you asked me, “Did you know Charley Dude is gay?” “Yeah” I said. “Wasn't his performance excellent tonight?” You agreed, but were unusually quiet for the rest of the drive.

A few days later, we had friends over to watch a movie, and as Eric and Bill sat together on the couch, they started their usual banter. “Raising the homo-shield!” Bill announced, invoking the invisible force field that would supposedly allow him to sit so close to Eric without anyone making gay comments.

It was all supposed to be funny, but how, I wondered, would those jokes sound to someone who was gay?

That night, after everyone went home and you were in bed, your dad and I discussed it, and we agreed. We gathered all of our friends together and announced that from this moment on, there would be no more gay jokes in our house. No more inadvertent gay bashing.

Because if you were gay—and I was pretty sure even then that this was, indeed, the way God made you—you were not going to grow up thinking there was anything wrong with you.

Years later, when you were fifteen, you still wanted me to tuck you in at night. So I'd stand by your bunk bed and we'd talk a bit about the day. I'd also gather up your dirty clothes. You were supposed to put them in a laundry basket, but sometimes your aim was off.

One night, you took a deep breath and said to me, “Mom, I think I'm gay.”

“I know that,” I told you, giving you a hug and a kiss. “I love you. I'll always love you. Where did you put your dirty socks?”

A day or two later we sat down and talked about safe sex and personal safety. I have to confess that it made my heart ache to have to tell you that there were people out there, people who didn't even know you but who hated you anyway—people who might try to hurt you because you were gay. Because you were simply being you. And it was your turn to give me a hug and say, “I know that. But, Mom, the world is changing.”

Today, as I write this, you are eighteen. You are a grown man, and I am so proud of you.

Yes, the world is changing, but it's not happening quickly enough for me. I was outraged when we went to the Gay Pride parade last June and you saw that hateful, ignorant sign that read, “God hates you.”

I wish the person carrying that sign had seen you at three, at eight, at nine, at ten. If he had, then he would know that you are a true child of God. If he had, then he would know that by being gay, you are just being Jason.

God loves you, I love you, Dad loves you. Unconditionally. You know that.

And I know that you love and accept yourself. You are confident and strong. Just like when you were three years old, you allow Jason to be Jason.

Shine on, my son!

This story is for you.

[Obamarama]

48. Okay...well THAT one turned me into a blubbering idiot....

What a wonderful mother...

[dsc]

49. I am not a romance novel reader

but I am ready to buy this book after reading that marvelous dedication. What a special lady with a very lucky son.

[Q3JR4]

60. Kick ass!

The letter brought a tear to my eye, and that usually doesn't happen.

:applause:

[DawgHouse]

42. There are no words to express how sad this makes me feel.

[mitchtv]

43. That is so sad. believe me I almost succeded myself

I am the product of a Catholic upbringing and education> If that wasn't bad enough as I developed(gay): My mom would wake me up sprinkling holy water on me. More than once it was described as "the sin even Christ couldn't forgive".To make matters worse the neighborhood toughs gave me a tough time. I got involved in drugs to kind of throw them off the trail, and ended up with Hepatitis, it almost finished me off. My parents never discussed it but accepted me and even came to visit Partner and me in later years- a long trip from NY to CA. The hepatitis ended up with a liver transplant at age 50

[dsc]

46. I am glad you are still here

I turned to booze for suicide on the installment plan.

[zonmoy]

44. gay young people shouldnt condemn themselves for being gay

the only ones that need condemning are the fundies and of course the demonic god they worship.

[dsc]

50. Don't blame God for what people do in his name

He isn't to blame. These fundies would hate even without religion.

[zonmoy]

51. then why doesnt god do something about the fundies and their

hate. I would love to see him if not smiting then at least send a prophet or two to get them on a track to love others rather than hate.

[yardwork]

52. We've had prophets but we tend to treat them badly

Many people come with a message of peace and love. Republicans don't like them. IF most so-called fundamentalist Christians met Jesus on earth today they'd probably kill him.

[dsc]

53. He sent his son and they ignore what he said

who else should he send.

[zonmoy]

58. preferably somebody too kick their asses to the 8th

circle of hell where hypocrates belong.

[dsc]

59. There is that free will thing

somehow I think they will eventually get theirs.

[BlueStorm]

55. Being gay as a teen can be hell...

I started coming out to myself when I was in high school and it is still difficult to deal with to this day... it's all a part of accepting and coming to terms with who I am as a whole.

My mother always had known that I was gay, from the time I was 6. Even the counselor that I was seeing at that time knew as she had asked my mother that if I was gay what would she do. My mother replied that she would always love me.

I know that for most people it would be hard to come out. It's even harder when you have people around you that don't understand or are too blinded by their own hate and prejudices against gays. I have a father that is that way and every time I mention that I am a lesbian he laughs it off and acts like it is something that I am "just going through." He even mentioned to me that it's just a phase in which I replied, "Well then, it's been a phase for 20 years." As if that isn't enough to get the drift.

None of my friends knew in high school, that is I really didn't have any friends. I was pretty much a loner. My best friend of 10 years knows that I am gay and she respects that. So it is good to have people that support you around you. Negativity can really drag you down.

I did go through a phase when I was into Islam and practicing it. That is that I was not normal, that homosexuality was a sin and therefore I had to change. One woman that I talked to said that I needed to get married as quick as possible. But everytime I met a man as part of the pre-marriage set up, something held me back from pursuing the marriage. I didn't want to get married.
I started to hate myself and became depressed as a result of my self-loathing brought on by these outer influences. I never was suicidal but I couldn't understand why I couldn't change. During this period I always felt that I was trying to be someone or something I wasn't. I couldn't conform to this anti-homosexuality rhetoric and my whole soul just screamed at me to reassert itself. I was stubborn with my Islam phase as I was bound and determine to convince myself (and those around me)that this was what I wanted, that this was how to be close to God and to perfect myself. I was pretty much convinced that my homosexuality was a dark blot that I had to erase in order to be seen as good in God's eyes.

It wasn't until May of 2003 when I started questioning the doctrines of this religion. The little dogmas that man has placed in there and this homosexuality thing, which so much went against my free-thinking progressive soul was one of the main reasons I got out of Islam.

Now I want you to keep in mind that I absolutely have nothing against Islam. I feel it is a very beautiful religion in the core, but it wasn't for me. I am a free bird and I can't conform to one set of beliefs.

I was listening to those around me and letting them influence me.

So yes it can be hard on yourself when you are a gay person and others around you hate you for it, try to change you for it or convince you that what you are doing is wrong.

I wish the world will change I believe it will someday, when everyone will see the humanness in each other rather than what they do with their lives.

Blue

[Puglover]

56. I was incredibly blessed...

my families reaction was "so? Well that's good, lets go have lunch." And it's never been an issue, ever. My partner is part of the family. My older brother was actually pissed off that I told his wife before I told him.
My mother (now gone) would say things like, "I just can't believe you're my son!" And then she'd give a wicked smile. Like I said, I was/am blessed.

[dsc]

57. That is so cool

My family came around and some were great from the get go. It is amazing how much better things have begun to get at times and then the backlash. It is a contest which will win out.