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Sorry for such a long post guys but I thought I'd share.
I spent the day with a friend of mine yesterday and he told me a story I thought I'd share. This will make you angry but it will also make you feel all warm inside.
My friend Matt is really close to his family. Matt is gay and has been with his boyfriend,Mark since he was a freshman in College. They are going on 6 years (both are 25 years old) Matt's family has had trouble with his homosexuality and have basically adopted a don't ask don't tell policy at their house.The family likes Mark, but have issues about them being together. Matt's older brother Steve got married this past summer when Matt and Mark were on vacation in Hawaii. Matt felt bad he missed it but Steve told him it was last minute and the only people who came were those who were around or available.He downplayed it and said it wasn't anything fancy,just simple.Matt also has a younger sister who's in college named Sara. Matt was excited because this Christmas he was coming home with Mark and his whole family would be together.
Once they got to the house Matt's parent's had one rule. Matt and Mark could NOT sleep in the same bedroom. Now, Steve and his new wife got their own room and Sara brought home her new boyfriend home who she has known for 4 months and they let the two of them sleep together in her room. But the couple who has been together the longest were not allowed. Rather than get angry, Mark agreed to take the sofa. They both agreed it wasn't worth arguing over.
Now, Mark makes pretty good money and Matt's parents asked Matt for some money about a year ago. Matt's dad and mom were having to work several more years and couldn't retire when they planned and they were having a difficult time. They gave his parent's $5,000. Mark told Matt to tell them its a gift and not a loan. Then over the summer Steve asked for money. He said they didn't get much from the wedding because it was all last minute and alot of guests who would have normally come didn't and they are really struggling. Steve's wife needed a car so, Mark and Matt GAVE them $8,000 about a month after the wedding.
Well, Matt came downstairs on Christmas eve and snuggled with Mark on the couch. He noticed a empty spot on a table like a picture had been removed. He looked around and found a photo in a frame of Steve and his wife in a church with the entire family around. He snooped around some more and found a wedding dvd dated July 2007. The two watched the wedding. It was a HUGE wedding in a church with about 200 guests. In the dvd at the reception Matt's mom is talking to family about how Matt couldn't be there because he had this trip planned for along time and just couldn't get away.He found cards and letters from family and friends talking about the wedding and learned that Matt's parent's did not think it was wise to invite Matt because he would have brought Mark and people would have asked too many questions and it would have made things complicated.(translation: They would have been embarrassed for the family and their friends to discover they had a gay for a son!) Apparently Steve and his wife requested he not be invited. It also turns out the money Matt and Mark gave his parents went to pay for alot of the wedding. Also turns out that Steve and his wife got ALOT of money from family and friends and that Matt's parent's told Steve to ask his brother for help because they are loaded and they can afford it.
Matt cried all night. He noticed on the fridge a picture of his sister and her boyfriend of 4 months. Pictures in drawers of Steve and his wife, and Sara with her past boyfriends but not one of Matt and Mark.(they send them pics on a regular basis) So, Matt and Mark decided to pack up and leave on Christmas eve. They took all the presents they brought back and put them in the car. He left the dvd,the picture,the letters and cards all on the dinning room table with a note that read"Your all dead to me. Don't ever contact me again". They drove all night and went to Mark's family's house.
Mark's family, who is very proud of their son welcomed Matt and felt his pain. They were angry and sad and told Matt that they were his family now to just forget them.He said the difference in the two family's is like night and day. He always liked Mark's family but never knew they were so sweet and understanding. This whole thing happening at Christmas seemed to bring Mark's family closer to the two.
I feel so bad for my friend. He really loves his family and even said he thought they were coming around. By the way, not one member of the family has called as of last night. When I first heard this I just made a fist and wanted to strike someone down. It made me SO ANGRY! Thank God he has such a great guy to help him get through this, but he's not gonna get over it anytime soon. If you all could just think of him and imagine what he must be going through, I'm sure he'd like that. Thanks!
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