Summer blockbuster: CERN hunts the Higgs

[Orsino]

The greatest particle-physics experiment in history?
http://rawstory.com/news/afp/Greatest_experiment_ever_in_particl_03232008.html

"It's fantastic. It's like a baby, only it doesn't take nine months to be born, but 19 years," enthused Daniel Denegri, whose Compact Muon Solenoid (CMS) detector is bidding to be first to snare the Higgs.

In July or possibly August, the LHC will start its work, initiating a cautious programme of tests before cranking up to full intensity.

In October, CERN (officially called the European Organisation for Nuclear Research) will invite heads of state and government to an official inauguration.

Beams of hydrogen protons will whizz around at near-light speed in opposite directions until, bent by powerful superconducting magnets, they will smash together in four bus-sized detector chambers, where they will be annihilated at temperatures hotter than the Sun....

Data from these collisions will then be sifted by a massive computer farm above ground, which will send the most promising events on "The Grid," a miniature World Wide Web.

[Warren DeMontague]

1. That's because they still believe in Science, over there in Europe.

Here, of course, we know that the Earth is 6,000 years old, Jesus rode dinosaurs and weeps every time you fuck for non-procreative purposes, and "Science" is just the French word for "Satan".

[Orsino]

2. Can't we get some funding over here...

...by calling it the Jaysus Particle instead?

[Warren DeMontague]

3. If it could be shown that the Higgs boson could somehow prevent pre-marital fucking

I guarantee that there would be Billions of taxpayer dollars available.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/issues-action/sex-education/abstinence-only-14840%20.htm

[TechBear_Seattle]

5. It is already called the God Particle

Doesn't that out-rank the Jaysus-Particle?

[Orsino]

6. Ah, but *which* god?

Mo' Jesus, mo' money.

[TechBear_Seattle]

4. Gotta love non-scientist journalists writing on science topics

Hydrogen protons? As distinct from, say, helium protons or oxygen protons? And I wasn't aware protons of any type could be bent. :eyes:

[Indenturedebtor]

7. Yeah my favorite

Was the part about "unprecedented use of al gores internets" ... was how I read the bit about networking PC's to store and sift data. SETI has been using this for damn near a decade heh.

Good times.

[caraher]

8. And CERN was the birthplace of the World Wide Web

The "hydrogen protons" bit was amusing... I suppose the protons remembered they used to be part of hydrogen atoms? ;)

[FiveGoodMen]

9. "I suppose the protons remembered they used to be part of hydrogen atoms"

Yup. They're homeopathic protons.

[Indenturedebtor]

10. Bwahahahaha

"I suppose the protons remembered they used to be part of hydrogen atoms"
Posted by FiveGoodMen
Yup. They're homeopathic protons.


:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

Still laughing Bwahahahah

[caraher]

11. Good one!

At last, homeopathy begins to make sense...:rofl:

[eppur_se_muova]

12. I was picturing a beam of little 'sickle-cell' protons ...

relieved to see I'm not the only one. :blush::)