Give me your potty teaching/training advice, please!

[fight4my3sons]

My oldest son is 3 years and almost 4 months. My husband has a week off from work next week so we are going to try to teach my son to go on the potty. Keep in mind that we have 19 month old twins running around also. Any experience or suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[SoCalDem]

1. Take him shopping for "big boy" pants

Tell him that big boy pants are for boys who don;t wear diapers..and if he messes or wets them he'll have to wear baby diapers..

Put only the undies on him and keep asking him if he needs to go..

Bear in mind, that some kids take FOREVER. and until he goes on his own and you don'y suggest it, he's not there yet...

If he's not ready, please don;t get anxious..especially in front of him.. Kids "use" stuff like this against us all the time :)

I had an easy one (one day did it..all on his own) and a toughie..probably older than yours..

By the time they go to school they have mastered it though..:hug:

[fight4my3sons]

4. We have done this.

We went out and let him pick out about 30 pair of big boy underwear. Went through the whole routine. He taught an anatomically correct doll how to "go" on the potty and everything. My son just doesn't want to do it himself. This was a few months ago. We thought maybe we would try again now that he has been showing an interest and talking about the potty.
We aren't anxious about it, but would like him to be out of diapers, we do have three in them right now. It would cut an expense in our house.
Also not worried about the school thing. We are homeschooling.
My mom said that I had no interest in potty training at all so maybe he takes after me :-)
Thank you for the advice! :hi:

[fortyfeetunder]

2. A calendar and lots of praise

Get a calendar in a theme he likes, with pictures. Use a sunny smiley face the days he goes/stays dry, but just leave blank for the days he doesn't. Give LOTS of praise, high fives, thumbs up. Don't make a big deal when he makes a mistake, just lots of support, "I know you can do it".

Boys do take longer, and they usually are good with one than the other. I think my boy was OK with the liquid but really timid with the solid. He was 3 yrs 8 months when he finally got a clue.

BTW, don't be surprised if it takes longer than a week.

[fight4my3sons]

5. Thanks

I was going to try the calendar with stickers approach next since he seems to be very impressed with stickers lately.

No, I don't think it will take a week. It may not even be the right time for him and that's ok, but we thought we would try it again.

[fortyfeetunder]

11. He'll come around one day

He'll let you know when he's ready. Just keep the potty around and make it a great place to be.

Other ideas I recall:

Now this is a "Guy" thing, but one mom told me her spouse used a few Cheerios and other donut-shaped cereals (like Froot Loops) in the loo and have the boys use it for target practice, to teach them how to urinate standing up. (Sink the ship game)

Even when they are "trained" then there is a transitional time for kids to have occasional accidents. I think my boy carried spare pair of pants up until kindergarten. And we always carried a spare pair in a backpack during family outings.

Once he was in 1st grade, he decided carrying spare clothes wasn't worth it anymore, and we haven't seen him in different clothes for missing the potty.

[wildeyed]

3. I just set the little potty out, take off the pants and roll up the rugs.

There are also some cute little books that explain potty training that I read to my kids for a few weeks before the experiment began. I also bribe shamelessly with treats or whatever else seems to motivate them.

Good luck! It seems to work differently for everyone, so don't worry too much if things don't go according to plan.

[fight4my3sons]

6. Thank you

I had the potty out, but he got really angry if the twins went near it and kept putting back in the closet :-( The bathroom is upstairs and he has to climb over a gate to get to it. Not the ideal potty training situation. He does like to run around without pants, but it is so cold here right now (in Maine). No rugs, so that is a plus. I have some books that I have been reading to him and we taught the anatomically correct doll how to go on the potty - didn't seem to have much effect on my son. I know that he will go on the potty in time, but with three in diapers I just wish it was sooner rather than later.

[wildeyed]

7. My daughter was a late potty trainer, too.

Eventually I gave her a big glass of juice, took her pants off and put the potty in front of Sesame Street with her on it. She still didn't go. She would wait for hours until I put her diaper back on, then pee a gallon. I really had to cajole and hold her to get her to finally use the potty. She was scared of the change, I guess.

Maybe you could try when the twins are napping or out of the house? I would be mad if someone took my potty, too ;)

[purr]

8. I have a 4, 2, & 4 mo old..

I got my 2 yr old trained when she just turned 2. My son took until he was 3 to potty train. Let them do it when they want to - both of them basically told me when they wanted to go on 'the potty'. Reward often and make a big fuss over it. Let him do it when he wants.

[fight4my3sons]

16. Thanks

I don't want to pressure him at all. My father has been a pediatrician for 35 years and he told me that you can't control what kids eat and when they go to the bathroom. You can provide them with all the healthy food and the underwear and potty, but you can't make them eat or go on the potty when you want them to if they don't want to. Right about now I feel like my father is the smartest person in the world :-)

[phylny]

9. No pullups. None at all.

Use pants, let him soak through them (surprise!) and give him the responsibility of cleaning up the mess, taking care of the wet clothes, cleaning himself (as much as he can do).

Good luck.

[fight4my3sons]

15. We tried that approach a few months ago.

When he turned three. He didn't care at all that he was wet or dirty. I just ended up doing a lot more laundry. He's been in pullups for a while so that I could at least teach him how to dress himself.

I do use the pullups that are made so that he can feel that he is wet and now he says "oh I am wet" and he gets a new pullup and changes himself. Only if he is wet though. If he is dirty I still change him.

[phylny]

18. I guess if he's continuing to have this many accidents, he may

not be physically ready. Especially if he's peeing or pooping in his pull-up. It's really acting like a diaper in that case, and he may think that it's "okay" to pee or poop in one. It is, after all, a diaper made differently.

The key for us was making our kids do the work themselves. When they had an accident it was them, not us, that did the undressing, putting the clothes in the laundry, etc. That way, they were inconvenienced.

It went rather quickly with all three because it was a bigger pain in the neck for them to handle all that stuff than to pee in the toilet :)

[oregonjen]

10. If you have him peeing standing up, use Cheerios

Put some Cheerios in the toilet and see if he can hit the target. I never tried it because our son when he started on the potty sat while he did a pee. However, it worked for neighbors of mine. Just a thought. : )

[fight4my3sons]

14. Thanks, I let my husand know! n/t

[mzteris]

12. here's what we did with one

I set the timer for every 15 minutes and took him to the potty - if he even sprinkled a bit - he got like 2 or 3 M&M's or gummy bears. I gradually changed the clock to 20 minutes apart, 30, 45, 60 - over the course of a several days. His spontaneously using the potty - without being taken - would result in his receiving MORE M&M's - like 5-8 or something.

The sticker idea is good, too - you can do things like - "dry day" treats, and "dry for a week" gets a MAJOR treat that he's been reallly wanting a while.

Oh yeah, sink the Cheerios is a fav of little boys. :)

[fight4my3sons]

13. Those sound like they could work for him.

He doesn't regularly eat candy and he really loves M&M's. I was thinking of trying them as a reward. I was also thinking of trading in dry days for a bigger reward. He has been wanting Neville (a Thomas train that was sold out at Christmas). I like the idea of the timer and working up to longer periods of time. I was telling my husband about the Cheerios thing, he'll have to show him that one ;-)
Thanks you always have great advice for me!

[SoCalDem]

17. Yikes.. As an OLD parent, we didn't know about the reward part,

Are kids now being rewarded for potty succes? :shrug:...

We just always treated it as somthing that just evolved as they got older and something they would want to do for comfort..

But then we were meanies.. we didn't pay for grades or give allowances either.:)

[fight4my3sons]

19. I don't think you were mean.

My parents didn't pay for grades either. My mom didn't give an allowance, but my father did (I guess he did because my step-siblings were getting one).

In most current literature on potty training, there is mention of rewards. My son usually responds well to praise. Maybe he just is not ready to move on to regular underwear yet. My husband is ready for him to though. There is so much pressure with people always saying "oh is he still in diapers" which I really don't care, but I don't want him hearing that all the time either.

[Midlodemocrat]

20. I, um, didn't potty train any of mine.

Which I know is radical. I just didn't want to deal with picking up poop and pee all day long, so I let them decide for themselves. My eldest trained herself at 2 1/2, my middle was 3, and the baby was 2 1/2 also.

Of course, they weren't dry through the night for a bit longer, so they wore pull-ups as night night undies.

[SoCalDem]

21. My youngest was actually "trained" before the middle one

They were 12 months & 10 days apart.. The little guy begged for big boy pants too.. I told him if he messed them that was IT.. Put em on him and he trained himself in ONE DAY..and then pointed at his 3 1/2 yr old brother and said "BABY!", and I put yet another diaper on him.. Within a few days the older one was also "trained"..

I always considered the whole "training" issue as not worth obsessing over. My friend insisted that her ONE year old was potty trained.. I pointed out to her that ANY baby would be trained if you had time to hold them over a toilet 24/7 :evilgrin:

Technically, they are only "trained" when you don't even KNOW when they use the bathroom:)

[mzmolly]

22. Make sure your child has the signs of readiness first,

then buy big shirts and leave his bottom uncovered, put the potty chair near by and explain that he's going to put his potty in the chair today etc. Remember to praise wildly!

From what I recall some of the signs are that the child is bothered by feeling wet or "poopy." Until you have the signs, it might be futile. Don't worry is my number one bit of advice, he'll learn when he's ready. ;)

[fight4my3sons]

23. Update

Well, it didn't happen. He just isn't ready. He likes to run around naked, but when it's time to sit on the potty he would rather pull on that Toy Story Pull-up and then sit on it. Oh well. In good time :-)

[knowbody0]

24. ive trained tons of kids

for boys, put a bull's eye target in the bowl. reward with treats. (m & m's worked for me). also have them wear socks--they are used to wet butts but not ankles.

p.s. I fostered over 50 kids, most under 3 years of age. potty training on average took 2 to 3 days.

[fight4my3sons]

25. Thanks!

That's interesting advice about the socks, but it does make sense. I know I hate wet socks!
Foster care is a great thing. I did social work before becoming a teacher and worked with some awesome foster parents. :-)

[fight4my3sons]

26. Update-He 'got it' this morning!

My son finally did it this morning and now is really into it. I used a chart with stickers as a motivator. When he fills a row of stickers he will get a small reward. When the page is full a big reward (trip to Joker's fun & games). I set the timer for every fifteen minutes to remind him to go, not that I even need to because he wants to go in there before the timer goes off! Hopefully the twins won't be far behind.