
I haven’t been outside lately to whip things into shape and I’ll tell you why. The Siamese is a f*ing nut. He yowls and yowls in his little playpen and drives us crazy so we have to come in. If that wasn’t bad enough, last night the stupid man my mommy hates was talking on tv and I was on the bed hoping I could put my Mommy to bed soon and the Idiot Siamese comes in and attacks me like I had weapons of mass destruction or something.

Every day I’ve gone out lately the yowling has driven me in. I apologize to my admirers who felt, by now that I would have secured a kill. But how can one venture forth while the diarrhea mouth is in action?
