Is this my grandson's attempt at empathy?

[Celebration]

Okay, so I have a lot of time on my hands now that I can't drive and can barely walk for awhile, so I thought I would solicit your opinion on something that I feel could be relevant to this group.

My grandson, who is four, saw me and knows about the upcoming operation on my ankle. We were talking about it, and out of nowhere he says something like this--

"A long time ago when I was little I broke my foot and had an operation on my foot."

Of course, that isn't true at all. I'm just not sure where it came from...................

Some possibilities

his attempt at empathy
his way to assure himself that I will be okay (the "other" grandfather died after something that was supposedly not serious) because my grandson is okay
imagination only
general feeling of connection to all things
his way of trying to process/understand what was happening

We just sort of smiled and said that he never went through that. It seems to me that he has imagined things like this in the past. I wish now that I could remember a specific example to give this statement more context, but I can't.

Is this type of thing common? I don't remember my kids doing this. Anyone have any opinions?

[teenagebambam]

1. My two cents

Is it possible you've been getting a lot of attention from other family members during your downtime? Maybe he wants to get in on the action? I was a little older than your grandson, but spent a summer at camp pretending I had an allergy because so many other kids had them, and I was feeling left out!

And, of course - you didn't mention the possibility that he may be remembering a past life!

[Celebration]

2. ah, good thought

I wasn't getting much attention but maybe in his eyes I was.

Funny, I used to occasionally ask what he used to do when he was big, and he would give me just a blank stare.

[BlueIris]

3. Uh...he's trying to be helpful?

I think he's trying for empathy, more or less.

[Celebration]

5. I think you are right

more or less. :rofl:

Seriously, there may be more than one cause, I am starting to think.

Thanks.

[SheilaT]

4. Yet another possibility

is that he saw a TV show or a movie or had a book read to him or a story told to him that had similar elements in it.

Did his behavior indicate he was offering sympathy to you, or was it more of a "now pay attention to me" thing? Not that the latter is at all bad (unless he does it all the time because it's really all about him) but kids that age also have a rather short attention span for the most part and this could have been his way of changing the subject.

However, I'd rather think that he was showing reasonably appropriate sympathy for you. After all, if he were another adult and started the same story, it would hopefully be a way of saying, "I know what you're going through". Anyway, just appreciate that the little guy really is caring about you, and don't over-analyze it.

[Celebration]

6. I'm starting to think

It is just his way of processing the information. He is of course trying to learn EVERYTHING, and if something new comes up, and he is trying to understand it, he is projecting himself into the same situation, if that makes sense. To learn, you have to repeat things, and this was his way of repeating it..........and thus learning. But that is just another guess.

It didn't seem either like sympathy or getting attention. It seemed................like a statement of FACT. But obviously there was an element of make believe. Well, more than an element since he made up the entire thing. But maybe it reminded me a little of my one daughter than had a make believe friend, and she would tell me "factual" things about the friend. This was different, but that was the type of demeanor that he had.

I have to say that my daughter and I were a bit puzzled by it. I just wondered if anyone had experienced anything like it with a child.

[SheilaT]

7. That makes a lot of sense,

that it's his way of processing information.

Lots of kids have imaginary friends. I didn't, nor did my two sons, but at least one of my sister's three kids had an imaginary friend. Some people feel that (at least some of) the imaginary friends are spirit guides, or guardian angels, or however you wish to think of such things.

In a similar vein, I met a woman last week whose 7 year old grandson seems to be in pretty frequent touch with an uncle who died about five years ago.

[Celebration]

8. that is awesome about the 7 year old

I wish my grandson would have a relationship with the other grandfather that passed recently. They were extremely close, but he just accepts that he went to heaven.

I had the strangest imaginary friends when I was a kid. I had a family of people that lived in my mouth!! I knew I was inventing it though, so I didn't tell my parents. Occasionally I would wonder how they could breathe inside my mouth, but then I would tell myself they weren't really real physical entities (well, not in those words). I loved having secrets from my parents anyway, and that was one of them.

My grandson is an only child and lives a lot in his imagination, but having action figures to go with it is a huge plus for him.

[Why Syzygy]

9. I think it's process...

What kind of ideas does he have about "surgery" and "broken ankle"? He can understand something is broken, but I guess that he has no concept of surgery. Unless of course it is about a former lifetime. Children that young can't think in abstract. Maybe he thought if it happened to him, he could understand it better. Or, maybe he had some remembered situation and is connecting it to what he understands about the explanations for your care.

Interesting, to say the least.

[Celebration]

10. Yeah

I happen to think it is fascinating too.

Here is an example of the way he thinks--he saw my foot with no cast on it, and could see it looked a bit different, but there was nothing "broken" on it. He asked about that several times. Where is the broken part? He accepted it somewhat when we told him it was inside, but he was still pretty puzzled.