Ok, Rick, Kimmers, ready for a little levity???

[japple]

Jeremy Goodnight, a 19 yr. old lab technician walked the path through the woods on his way to his job at Drextol Industries. The past week had been extremely stressful at work, home, and for the world in general and he was taking this wooded path in order to try and restore peace and order to his shattered spirit. He heard the distant call of crows and and the steady hammer of a woodpecker. He was thinking about the recent breakup with his girlfriend, Theodora Leftcoast, who had suddenly disappeared for 2 days only to reappear and tell him their love affair was over...finished...dead as a corpse. He was so deep in thought that he did not notice the thick greenish fog that was swirling around his feet...

Okay, someone else take over.............................

[japple]

1. Oh, and I meant to add that this is open to anyone, not just Rick & Kimmers.

The more, the merrier.

[Ricochet21]

2. He had wondered into these swampy lands before.

But, there saw someting different this time. He didn't know what was up or down or north or south. Yet, somehow it didn't seem to matter much to Jeremy. He had lost his babe of all time babes. And he knew it. If ONLY he had taken his roommates advice and taken a shower before taking her on a night on the town, then, maybe.... After all, he was born to this sign Taurus and she, Virgo. Not to say that she extra fastidious or not...

Nevertheless, Jeremy found himself up to here with sadness, remorse and hopelessness. At 19, he was lucky to have landed his first good job as a lab technician at Drextol. Granted, he had to chase thru London's alleyways at night grabbing every scummy rodent he could snare for their testing - but, someone had to do it, and Tauruses don't seem to mind too much.

But certainly wasn't the night that he want to receive a John Deere letter, and he was depressed. Vomit on your shoes depressed. So, he made his way down to his favorite pub night-spot, "The Bent Arrow" and downed pint after pint of his favorite ale, "Ole Slogger".
His friends started to show quite concerned looks on their faces when they saw Jeremy losing his faculties a bit, and just then, Ms. Leftcoast barged in the establishment from the East coast and shouted at Jeremy, "And I got one more thing to bloody tell you, you bit of rotten aspic...!"

[kimmerspixelated]

3. "You Bit of Rotten Aspi-Corn!"

Lady Leftcoast liked to call all her exes Aspi-corn, chiefly because she knew the recipient and all the other attending ears would be stumped. Ahhhh, but what a rare and odd feast for the eyes, she was! Her raven black hair was thick and wavy and roll in the hay strumpet-like. Her buxom bosoms almost leaped out of her low cut frock, for all along this spunky tart was the look of a woman who had been rode hard and put away, well really damp, at least!

"Well, I knew I could count on you!", said Jeremy as he almost fell off the stool, with his pint a-sloshing akimbo.

[japple]

4. "Count on me for what, Jeremy-boy? Aren't you supposed to be at

work? Are you going to blame me for your stupid decision to spend the night drinking instead of going to work? I've lost every bit of patience with your immaturity and refusal to grow up. Dextrol is a great industry. You could rise through the ranks and really make something of yourself, but, no, you chose to fritter your time away..."

Just then...

[Ricochet21]

5. and his eyes were filled with her buxom bosom

he had to stand back.

"What are you doing here," he said?

"I'm here to take you to lunch?"

"Okay, where do you want to go?"

[japple]

6. "Lunch?" said Jeremy. "It's 8:00 p.m., and besides, I thought you

ended our relationship." "Oh, that was just a little temper tantrum," said Theodora. "I was just trying to get you to grow up and act more mature. Daddy told me how well you were doing at Dextrol and what a promising future you could have if you would only apply yourself."

"Apply myself!!!!! Apply myself to catching 100 rats each night in the tunnels underneath the streets of London. How will that lead to any kind of future for me?" Jeremy replied.

"I think the management is testing your strength and endurance," said Theodora. "Daddy said something about how they need strong, focused people to work on one of their projects--Operation Electra, or something like that."

That got Jeremy's attention. He had heard gossip around the factory about a top secret project, but no one really seemed to know much about it except for old Fred, but he never talked much anymore. Not since the accident...

[Ricochet21]

7. when the chemicals exploded and took half of poor Fred's face with it

ever since, it's been one operation after another, until his insurance gave out. Poor Fred.
Well, actually, he's not looking too bad these days.
It reminded Jeremy not to get too dedicated to one's job OR too close to any woman! No matter what size bosom!

I mean, after all....

Operation Electra, he vaguely remembered hearing about that. How intriguing, wasn't that the one where they were attempting to mix
holograms with gravitation and trying to back up into a black hole, or something like that? No, it was the one where they were trying to plug people into the nearest AC plug at night to do away with the need for sleep! That was it!
Ever since Professor Rheddiye had come up with it he....

[kimmerspixelated]

8. Toyed with the idea of approaching

some big shot patent lawyers with dreams of becoming a trillionaire on such a fantastic life changing, world changing idea!

But for some reason all Jeremy wanted to do was laugh!

And laugh he did!HAHAHAHHOHOHOHEHEHEHEh!

Until the raven haired, never modest, Ms. Leftcoast grabbed his half-pint mug and slammed it on the table in front of him. Just then she decided to whip out a boob! Of course, it was just a matter of time before one of those puppies slipped out on their own.


But lo and behold..

[japple]

9. Jeremy grabbed her bodice and pulled it into place, covering

her fully before all the pub crawlers got an eyefull. "Theo!" he cried "What are you doing? You have been acting positively possessed these past few weeks. First you love me, then you hate me,don't know what I'm gonna do. I feel like everything is spinning out of contro..."

All of a sudden, the bedlam in the pub dropped to zero when a large, extremely pale man walked into the room. He had a placid expression on his face. In fact, it might be described as vacant. And he had wisps of greenish fog floating around his feet.

"Jeremy, you're late for work. I was sent to fetch you," said the stranger.

"What are you doing here, Fred?" said Jeremy. "I thought you were working the day-shift."

"The boss wants to see you, Jeremy." said Fred.

"THE BOSS wants to see me?"

"Hell, no, Jeremy. THE BOSS lives in New Jersey. The (little) boss wants to see you. The one who lives here in London--Theodora's father--your future father-in-law."

[kimmerspixelated]

10. Jeremy Gasped!

But unfortunately sucked in some of the greenish fog floating around his feet. Because he was choking, there were was an immediate crowd that gathered. Theo stopped her brassy act and got a very sober look upon her face.

[japple]

11. "Jerey, darling, are you all right? You look so strange, like you're

glowing. Here, try to drink some water." Theodora cried. At that moment, there was a loud clap of thunder and lightning crackled from the sky. All the lights in the pub and on the streets outside were extinguished and the room was silent for a moment, except for the sound of something large and heavy slithering across the floor boards. The lights flickered back on briefly, long enough for several people to see Fred heaving a large canvas sack into the back of a panel truck. Then the lights went out again, leaving only the eerie glow of the wispy greenish fog.

[Ricochet21]

12. Just then, the bartender yelled,

"Fred, what the hell do you have in that bag? It's not another Shamrock Dry-Ice block again, is it? Well, I never.... When you gonna realize that it's July Fred, not March, Ju-ly! Now you go on and dump that mess in the river, you're scarin the bejesus outa my clients. Now everyone, be calm, when the juice comes back on, just plug yourselves into the outlets below your tables for about 10 minutes and you'll be fine."

Little did people know that Will Jabil, the pub owner, was a former professional magician....

[kimmerspixelated]

13. And all, I say, ALL

magicians have some major tricks up their sleeves, where commerce and hard drinking souls come to meet. Only Mrs. Jabil knew the kind of death-defying demon douching pranks he was capable of.. and she looked a lot like Ms. Leftcoast, ah yes she did!

Because of the resemblance, he found himself at the crossroads of a butt-pinch to the raven haired beauty. He couldn't help himself. He did it ever so slyly, as he watched in slow motion the mass of folks plugging themselves into the sockets to recharage.

In that millisecond before being slapped, he had to admit to himself, that the whole scene was a bit surreal.

[japple]

14. All at once, the lights came back on and Theodora noticed that

Jeremy was missing. She figured he had gone to the bathroom during the power outage, but when he hadn't returned in a few minutes, she went looking for him. Jeremy was nowhere to be found. She ran into Sid, Jeremy's best friend and asked if he knew where Jeremy had gone. Sid was obviously well into his nightly binge and slurred, "Wel, he wuz standin' nex' to me when the lights went out, then this green fog came by and took him away." "The green fog took him away?" said Theo. "Yeah, that guy Fred he works with--the real pale dude, comes by and says, "come on, Jer" and he puts his hand on Jeremy's shoulder, and Jeremy just disappeared--I mean he turned into green vapor or somethin' like that."

Theo was baffled. She knew that her Daddy's factory was up to something mysterious, but she didn't think they had the ability to vaporize people. She didn't want to lose Jeremy. She really cared for him, feared for his safety, and had a sinking feeling that he was in over his head. She decided to pay a visit to her family who lived in a suburb outside of London. She headed for her car, which was parked outside the pub, and had just put her hand on the door handle, when she was gripped from behind by someone three times her size. A hand slapped across her mouth and quickly covered it with duct-tape. Her hands were pulled behind her body and tied off with ropes. The abductor threw her across his shoulder and stuffed her into the back of a panel truck that trailed a green wispsy vapor.

[Ricochet21]

15. Just then, a dark-haired mysterious stranger in the corner of the

pub looked up from his idle dart game and walked over to talk to Ms. Leftcoast. "I think I heard them call you Theo.... Mam, well, don't you think this place is kind of a drag, what say we share that new bottle of rum I have and take a spin for a while?"

Testy Theo replied, "Gawd, it's about time a gal got an offer around here, let me get some smokes and let's hit it!!"

Little did she know that her new partner for the evening, Fahil, had a brand new suped up Harley. VROooooooooooooooooooom, and sped away they did down into the shadows of Whitehall, where many years ago, the ripper had struck....

Over the sound of the loud engine, Theo yelled into Fahil's ear, "Hey, something's wrong back here!"
Fahil: "Whatever could be wrong?"

[japple]

16. Well what do we do now? Two divengent plot lines and no one

to take up either one. Anyone got a solution?

[kimmerspixelated]

17. Before Theo could catch her breath,

A green fog filled the back seat of the runaway vehicle. She could smell Jeremy's cologne. The one that made her heart twinkle- English Leather!

[Ricochet21]

18. One is made to wonder how

the green dry ice that was thrown into river still sends haunting gas into the back of a motorcycle?
A confusing twist to the story for sure. Twinkling over English leather? That's the smell of the motorcycle seat, silly?

Someone call the continuity director, stat!
Meanwhile, back in the back of the panel truck she was screaming in her muffled way,
"oiuafoi ohapg hggjn iouiopj j !! j;ijijL:JJjiojaierioijgjopIHO! NOW"!

[japple]

20. Old Fred, who was driving the panel truck, turned to his

accomplice, Mugsy, and said, "I hope she don't hurt herself thrashing around like that. Her Daddy won't like it if we bring her in all covered in bruises." Mugsy asked, "Do you want me to give her some of those knock-out drops."

"Naw, it's just a few more minutes to Dextrol and our job will be over." said Fred.

The truck rolled in through the factory gates and Fred drove around to the rear of the administration building. A couple of big guys met him at the door and hefted the canvas sack and the squirming Theodora, and carried them in through the door. Fred and Mugsy went back to their jobs in the production end of things.

The big guys took Theo and the canvas sack in the elevator and up to the board room on the top floor where they were met by Theo's parents, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Jeremy's family was also there. The big conference table was heaped with food, and there were drinks a-plenty at the wet-bar.

[japple]

19. That was supposed to be "divergent" plot lines.

[Ricochet21]

21. Hell, I have hard enough time with one!

So there they are in the board room, Theodora looked like a drowned rat, all green. And not very pleased with herself.
"There'd BETTER be a good explanation about this one!" Just then, Bugsy addressed the group, "As we all know, a deadly disease has been ravishing our town of Pooville, Folks are staying quarantined on their farms and their forming violent alliances for fear of lack of food. Fred, our beloved psychic medium, has picked up the fact that no one, I REPEAT NO ONE can get their hands on the chosen one, or else we're all doomed! and that one is Theodora!"

"We must protect her at all costs. The aliens know she has the secret DNA that unlocks all the codes to all other races of DNA on our planet! What are we to do?" :wow: :hide:

[japple]

22. "Well, Bugsy or Mugsy, or whatever you're called, it's obvious

you've been into the party punch, and you're supposed to be back in the production department. And Fred, Fred has been picking up things for years. We're just here to celebrate Jeremy's 20th birthday," said Mrs. Leftcoast. "We had no other way of getting Theo and Jeremy to the party. By the way, where is Jeremy?"

The canvas sack on the conference room floor began to wiggle and squirm, and a rumpled, greenish Jeremy emerged. "What have you done to me, why am I here, why is everyone celebrating?" he asked.

"Darling, it's your birthday and we're giving you a surprise party," said his mother. And with that, everyone broke into a round of "Happy Birthday To Youuuuuu!"

"Aww," said Jeremy. "Leave it to Mum to arrange something like this. I can't imagine what's in store for me next year when I turn 21!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (or is it?)

[Ricochet21]

23. gEESH

:rofl:

[kimmerspixelated]

24. Wow, I second that!

Thanks Japple,

What a hoot.. I just logged in to continue this fun farce. Green fog, alien DNA, Big Boobs and English Leather and so much more!! Theo was just about to consult with her favorite astrologer that hangs out on a popular political board! I think the major configurations and the full moon have effected our characters!

:bounce: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Ricochet21]

25. I think we'd better do a better job

realizing the truths established by other other two. Tis confusing! O well.

[kimmerspixelated]

26. Yeah, sometimes me brain

becomes befuddled, mate! All apologies. I've had a series of brain farts.