Question about "inner knowing/messages" vs. trying to push something.

[SeattleGirl]

Sorry about the crazy title to the thread. I couldn't think of another way to put it, so let me explain.

I absolutely believe that our higher selves/the universe/God/whatever does communicate with us, and does give us messages. But I also think that we can fool ourselves, and that our own agendas can get in the way, can mute that inner voice, and steer us in the wrong direction.

How does one tell the difference? I am having a very strong feeling that I need to do something, but the last time I attempted to do said thing, it backfired on me, leading me to think that it was just my impatience telling me to do it, not my wiser, higher self. Anybody here ever face that dilemma? If so, have you figured out the difference between the two feelings? Any thoughts you have, or experiences you can share, would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!! :hug:

[DemExpat]

1. Certainly, I feel this is one of our biggest lessons or challenges!

In my life it has taken lots of experiences, quite a few hard knocks, for my large Ego to take a back seat to other voices.

I think that this is a lifelong schooling, at least for me.
Everybody has different trajectories, but with my own life it took having children to retrain my focus from my Ego to my inner voice. I just knew I didn't know anything about nurturing babies and children, so I had to give myself over to my intuitions. I also did a lot of reading at the time to help me.

Now I find I am swept between a voice telling me to move on from my 30 year old relationship with my partner, and one telling me that this is NOT the path to take. Very frustrating and hard for me to accept that I DO NOT KNOW what to do in this situation.

So, I have decided to NOT make a decision on this and to keep working at communication and setting my boundaries until I do KNOW what to do. Maybe in the meantime we can clean up some of the old patterns that make living together for me so unrewarding!

Personally, the difference between the 2 feelings of being driven by an inner knowing or by Ego (as I call this) is IMO that inner knowing feels "humble, or humbling" and carrying out a decision does not take intense drive on my part, although it may take great effort, while my Ego feels very intense and driven, and the carrying out of the decision is perhaps more stressful. Certainly the outcomes of "ego-driven" choices and decisions have been less "completing" to me as intuitive ones.

That's about all I can offer on this, I am curious to see others!

:hi:

DemEx

[SeattleGirl]

7. That makes sense.

When I think about doing again the thing that backfired on me, it has an urgent feel to it, so perhaps that IS Ego. I think I should give it a little more time. Thanks!

[LaurenG]

2. Two things that I have noticed with myself

If I am worried or upset I rarely get good information. If I'm calm I have a better than normal chance to get it right.

The other thing is that I have started to really listen to the chatter inside, if my ego gets it's "panties" in a knot I'm pretty much doomed if I go with what my ego wants rather than my higher self. I have to check carefully to see that I'm not coming from a place of fear, negativity or desire.

My higher self will give me information that will not purposely hurt or harm anyone including myself. If it's a good decision it will feel calm and "right".

I try to ask the part of me who is the "wise mother" (an imaginary person who I have given the task of knowing the right way to go) for advice when I'm hurt or down as I cannot get good info from my ego, ever.

Oneupmanship, impatience, competition or cattiness is all ego. The balanced wise self is much more reliable for me. Sometimes figuring out which is talking is hard so I wait until I'm in a good space to make important decisions.

I hope that makes sense. :hug:

edited for clarity.

[SeattleGirl]

8. Absolutely makes sense, OB.

The urge I have to do this thing is definitely coming from fear and worry, so I think I have my answer in this case. Thanks! :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

3. how easy does it go?

it seems that when I am doing the 'right' thing, events flow smoothly, when I find obstacles and blockages at every turn I need to take another 'look'

simplistic but true for me

[SeattleGirl]

9. This feels tangled up in worry.

This "urge" I'm having, that is. Thanks, AZ.

[NMDemDist2]

14. those kind of "throw my whole life out the window and start over" ones

are difficult indeed

i've done it before, but usually there was some serendipitous coincidence that finally propelled me.

a sudden job offer, a lead on a great apartment, something :shrug:

good luck sweetie :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

15. Yeah, those are the difficult ones.

Thanks, AZ. :hug:

[lildreamer316]

21. That's EXACTLY what I was going to say.

Once you realize that the decision you have to make is gonna turn you upside down; you have to give it over to the Universe/Higher Self/Whatever to be done. If it feels like too big of a decision to make; but you know it's the right one; the way will be made for you.

I've got an absolutely HUGE example of this. Please keep in mind as I tell you this that I also believe this event served myriad purposes as it may; helping the other involved to complete some karmic stuff as well as myself.
I had a very volitale relationship of eight years as a young adult that I eventually realized had to end; or he had to get anger management counseling (which he did).
Two months into this realization and his finally accepting and going to counseling; he died in a freak motorcycle accident.

Well; I wanted out; and I didn't want to have to be constantly reminded that he was happy with someone else; didn't I?????????

(HELL of a be careful what you ask for!!!)

No, seriously; obviously we had soul planned this event to help both of us on some serious issues. There is so much more involved here; but suffice it to say that he is such a wonderful soul for helping me with my issues and volunteering for such a life and death to help me. I am very very grateful to him. BUT; that's another story.

There's more that pertains to your question:
As the rest of the year progressed; I found that my ego was completely gone. Things and situations mysteriously resolved themselves. And the biggest thing (that makes me forever and ever believe in the LOA); as I started to think about the kind of man that I wanted to be with in the future; and to make my "list" of qualities; EXACTLY that person would show up. "POOF" would go the universe and there he was.
My current husband came to me during this period. I got SPECIFICALLY and exactly what I asked for...AND WHAT I DIDN'T; if you know what I mean. But my decisions were obviously made without ego involved; because after such a shocking and life-altering situation; it was silenced for quite awhile.
I found the decisions I made to be very natural and easy; with low stress and effort on my part. Sometimes also no effort at all. I decided what I wanted and it usually appeared.
I don't know if I've made made myself clear or that this will help at all ('cause I certainly don't want you to have to experience such to be able to tell the difference!!!) but I do beieve if you make the decision secure in the knowledge that it is best for your soul growth and development,that the way will be made smooth for you.
I know it's a pain in the ass. Best of luck. Try to relax.:hug:

[DemExpat]

23. Interesting, lildreamer.

But my decisions were obviously made without ego involved; because after such a shocking and life-altering situation; it was silenced for quite awhile.
I found the decisions I made to be very natural and easy; with low stress and effort on my part. Sometimes also no effort at all. I decided what I wanted and it usually appeared.
I don't know if I've made made myself clear or that this will help at all ('cause I certainly don't want you to have to experience such to be able to tell the difference!!!) but I do believe if you make the decision secure in the knowledge that it is best for your soul growth and development,that the way will be made smooth for you.

This I can understand easily , but it also points out to me how all of our experiences can be so different in form!
My difficult relationship with my partner now of 27 years is, in my belief now, definitely a soul contract that we made to work on our Ego issues, so while we may have chosen each other for a lot of "wrong" reasons, underneath it all is our soul connection to try to help each other (not at all apparently, we are often "enemies"!) actually holding a mirror up to each other to really LOOK and SEE what we are both doing.

I am not certain if (only) Spirit guided us together, or that our Egos were acting out their dramas and power vying.....I think actually both....at the same time...but now I see that Spirit was guiding very strongly.

Getting accidentally pregnant with my daughter at a rock-bottom low time of my life was also a huge lightening bolt sign for me from the heavens - this really got me started on my path!

:hi:

DemEx

[SeattleGirl]

25. Wow, what an experience!

Thank you for sharing that. Sounds like you learned to get out of your own way, which is exactly what I need to do. :hug:

[Grateful for Hope]

28. This is true for me also

I have long since noticed that decisions that are "good" for me have no obstacles attached. Those that are not...mega obstacles.

I have often felt that the universe knows that I am an impulsive kind of person, and those dang obstacles are many and frequent...LOL!

[BluePatriot]

4. That's a hard one to figure out

but, as you have put forth to us this good observation that perhaps your ego is butting in, that's half the battle right there. How did you know to ask us that question? :) If you focus on that "why," I bet it will be the higher self responding with any answers, and then, you can try training your brain to figure out what the higher self voice-sensations "feel" like.

Best of luck!

[SeattleGirl]

10. I'm thinking more and more that it's ego, not highter self.

And who better to ask but you folks? :)

[cassiepriam]

5. Start keeping a psychic journal.

Then carefully record what is coming to you.
Keep track of hits and misses.

Each of us gets our info in a different way.

You have to find out how it comes to you.

[SeattleGirl]

11. Interesting suggestion, cassie.

I may try that. Thanks!

[Rock_Garden]

6. No one's mentioned divination, yet.

I'm not advocating or condemning it, but many people use some form of personal divination to get those answers. Those who use it develop a track record of trust, based on using it for a long time. Personally, I think that divination is a valid approach. It offers a concrete way to communicate with positive nonphysical energies.

The more upsetting the problem, the more likely that we will find it difficult to hear our internal guidance system. Divination bypasses this problem. I think that intention is the key to using any form of divination. If you intend to use it positively, then that's what will happen.

There are so many forms of divination that anyone can find at least one that will complement their personal belief system. I haven't named any of the thousands, because I don't wish to influence you in any way. But it's something to consider.

[SeattleGirl]

12. Thank you, RG.

I'll look into that.

[Pathwalker]

13. Following spirit does not guarantee an easy path.

If it did, we'd have gotten rid of Bush a long time ago. Nor does following spirit mean that all road blocks will fall away - the easy path is not always the right one, and difficulties will present themselves even when we are following the correct path.
The hardest one for me to accept is when it says - you may want to wait a while. I am an action oriented person, and waiting is not one of my strong suits, but over time I have learned that when spirit says to wait, something will eventually be revealed that makes the reason for waiting very clear.
For me, the spirit voice is the quieter one that lets ego rant and rail, and DEMAND that this, that, or some other thing be done, and then speaks. Quietly. Calmly. Without judgment or condemnation. When I follow spirit, I am more at peace - inside - rather than torn or uncertain.
I recently had a very real object lesson in this - following a certain path, despite great opposition. It took a long, arduous road that eventually led to the perfect outcome for me, but it was not easy, and not without opposition. But that quiet certitude within kept me going, and may well have saved my life.
Anyway, that's my experience.

[SeattleGirl]

16. I, too, am action oriented, and patience is not one of my

finer traits. Waiting and letting things work out in the right way, at the right time, is something I still struggle with. I'm better at it than I used to be, but I still struggle with it, as I am right now.

But I, too, have felt that quiet certitude, and when I feel it, I know I'm on the right path, regardless of any obstacles that might get in my way.

Thanks, NB.

[Pathwalker]

17. SeattleGirl - have you tried asking spirit/angels/spirit

guide or whatever suits your belief system for a "clear, unambiguous sign" that would show you the correct path to take? It sounds like this is a very important decision/choice you are considering, so why not ask for a sign? It has helped me many times, and made the choice clear, so maybe it would work for you.

[SeattleGirl]

18. I have not tried that yet.

I've been so caught up in worry, and bad imaginings, that my mind has been too noisy to "hear" anything.

I think the first thing I need to ask for is a sense of calm.

[Pathwalker]

20. A sign is something OVERT, not a feeling or the voice

within. It is something that happens, that shows you the path to take. Just ask, and it shall be given.

[SeattleGirl]

24. Thanks.

I will do that.

[Crowdance]

26. "Just ask..."

What a lovely manifestation you are today! I had asked today to know how you are, and HERE you are. Are you healing?

[Pathwalker]

27. Yes I am healing - very nicely too. Thank you for asking.

Things worked out in the best possible way - whew! How are things with you? :hi:
Thank you for the lovely compliment - several things have come to fruition for me lately(manifested completion?), and the future looks much brighter!

[Crowdance]

29. I'm well, and happy to hear you are, too.

You are my second good news today. I learned today that a friend who was told he'd need a heart transplant or die within a year was just told that, somehow, his heart is now normal. The world still has room for wonderful healing!

[DemExpat]

22. Spirit always humbles my Ego

but maybe my Ego needed some major humbling this time!

that quiet certitude within kept me going.....expresses my experience perfectly as well, NB, and you are right that following spirit is indeed not an easy, mellow path to choose.

But the results of listening and following spirit are IMO always profound, while results from Ego driven actions ring hollow when I expected my reward, or even lead to negative experiences.

[SeattleGirl]

19. You folks are so wonderful, do you know that?

After reading and responding to your answers to my original question, I feel so much better, AND calmer. And calm is what I needed to be.

I fall into a "worry spiral" sometimes, and when I'm in that state, I sometimes do things that aren't the best for me, but until I can get out of that spiral, I keep feeling compelled to "make" things happen, to force things to be the way I want them to be, which only succeeds in pushing those things away from me.

The spiral has stopped, and I can feel myself letting go of the need to force things. I want to thank you, and tell you that I appreciate each one of you.

:loveya: :hug: :loveya:

[davsand]

30. When I seek calm, I have been known to look at the Tao Te Ching

In reading the discussion here, it occurs to me that maybe you guys will enjoy this. I got turned on to the Tao about 25 years ago and more often than not it has helped me find some sense of calm when I needed it most.

I especially like the Jane English & Gai-Fu Feng translation, but I do think it is a matter of finding the one that feels right to you. This particular chapter came up when I was looking at it to respond here:

Sixteen

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.
The way of nature is unchanging.
Knowing constancy is insight.
Not knowing constancy leads to disaster.
Knowing constancy, the mind is open.
With an open mind, you will be openhearted.
Being openhearted, you will act royally.
Being royal, you will attain the divine.
Being divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away.

There is a Daily Tao website that is kind of nice--it will let you randomly look at a chapter and that is kind of how I have used my paper copy of the tao over the years. I just let the book fall open to whatever chapter was appropriate to that particular moment and it was an island of lucidity for me sometimes.

Here ya go:

http://www.daily-tao.com/



Laura

[SeattleGirl]

31. Thanks, davsand.

I don't know a lot about the Tao, but I have done some reading of it. Calm would be a good thing for me, so I'll check out the site you linked.

[hvn_nbr_2]

32. The "still, small voice" within, and other stuff

Caveat: YMMV and different people probably experience this quite differently.

In my (admittedly, very limited) experience with inner knowing, when spirit is speaking, it speaks in the "still, small voice." It's gentle, quiet, fleeting, and doesn't keep repeating itself incessantly. It's almost unnoticeable until you learn to pay attention to it. It will sometimes repeat the message, but not every five minutes; usually like every couple days or even longer.

Any time that I "have a very strong feeling," it's me, not spirit speaking. It's my own desires or passions or whatever. That's the voice in which "God" tells Bush to invade another country for Jesus, truth, justice, the American way, and Exxon.

Typically, the still small voice occurs spontaneously without my asking for it. If I want to actively seek its advice, I have to become very calm and let go of any attachments to any answer that might come. Usually I have to repeat that calming and letting go several times because as soon as something starts to come, I get excited or disappointed or some other emotional reaction.

OOTO, depending on what the situation is: Strong feelings probably show what you really want, although they may be based on only one aspect of a situation. Is the situation about "what is best" or "what will work out best", or is it about "what you really want"? Strong feelings in the latter case may be a good guide.

I've been kind of working on a theory that emotion, especially when it's unexpected or out of nowhere, is a manifestation of another way of knowing, another kind of "fuzzy" mental processing that takes into account many factors that we are not consciously aware of.

Some say that if you want a clear, straightforward answer, ask the Runes. But don't ask them unless you're willing to hear clear, straightforward, non-gentle answers. I have only a couple experiences with Runes, but my experiences fit what "they" say.

I've also had success on several occasions of using Notorius Bohemian's suggestion to ask for a sign. But as she/he said, ask for a clear, unambiguous sign. Signs tend to be open to interpretation.

[SeattleGirl]

34. Thanks, hvn_nbr_2

I'm finding people's thoughts and comments very interesting on this subject, and I appreciate yours, too.

[Brewman_Jax]

33. Divination is a good call

like one of the above posts. Divination, mistakenly called "fortune telling", is a counseling session with your higher self, with or without a facilitator.

[SeattleGirl]

35. Thanks, L_A

I don't know that I've done divination before. I think I'll do some searching on the internet about it.

[Brewman_Jax]

36. There are many different styles

may I suggest tarot cards, since they don't require extensive training, preparation, and practice. You may other types to your liking as you research.