discouragement in the air

[Callie McAllie]

in another thread, the subject of discouragement came up and several folks agreed that there is a lot of this around right now. votesomemore suggested, we post a thread about discouragement. It's not a topic typical of this usually very positive site, but perhaps by embracing our discouragement we can move past it. That is my hope, anyway.

So I will start. I am usually such a relentlessly sunny, upbeat person. But the past few years I have experienced a creeping cynicism, and the past few months I have been so discouraged by what I see around me. I am feeling quite overwhelmed by it. The specifics that are piling up are no more special or compelling than anyone else's problems...the economy seems hopeless to me, the politicians hopelessly corrupt; my father is in a nursing home with Parkinsons and Alzheimers, and my mother is a day's drive away struggling with that burden mostly on her own; my husband and I are not getting along like we once did; my sweet little boy is getting to be a teenager; someone just stole my brother's darling little dog; and at work both our secretaries are out on medical leave, one of them just had a stroke!

It just seems to be piling up around me and I have no idea how to turn it around. It feels like an anchor tied to my leg, pulling me down as I try to swim along.

Although, to be fair, I have a great (if stressful) job, I'm healthy, I lost 27 pounds this year so far. There is a lot of good in my life I can point to happily.

Hope someone else will post on this topic and share their discouragement as well!

[Sanity Claws]

1. I used to believe perseverance was a virtue

I was always taught that it was. I used to keep plugging away despite obstacles. A few years away, I worked myself into a deep depression. I think persevering despite obstacles was a big factor in it. Everyone has limited energy and emotional reserves. I passed mine and it took a lot to dig out of that depression and the toll it took on my body and mind.
Now I think perseverance is a sign that someone is slow on the uptake. I certainly don't think a person should give up after facing a single obstacle but there comes a point when one should try something new, rather than plugging away. I haven't been able to determine at what point one should stop persevering but I know one should stop at some point.

This thread was started after SeattleGirl posted about her job loss. My advice to her: look for a job so you can pay bills but also work toward changing career directions.

[Why Syzygy]

23. Try something new ...

Perseverance has always been a strong suit. Obviously. Long suffering. Oh so virtuous. Reminds me of the Sims game where they get a little angel thought bubble when they do something "good" (take out the trash). I guess that's a good thing. But there is a POINT! I hope it isn't a point of no return because I do believe I have reached mine.

I saw first hand how much damage can be done to oneself in the "put on your happy face" family of dysfunction I hailed from. Depression is no stranger to me. What's going on now feels different. I feel a need to begin from scratch in every area. How can I.

[lildreamer316]

2. Aha! Maybe a little gratitude journaling would help us all??

I got one of those from the Secret site not long ago, but of course any nearby peice of paper/computer will do...

what we focus on increases, so maybe I need to reeeeeeeeeally focus on what I'm grateful for!

Thanks for the inspiration~

[Callie McAllie]

3. That is an excellent suggestion

we should have a thread on that topic too, what we're grateful for.

[Callie McAllie]

4. It reminds me of that new Miley Cyrus song

:headbang: the "seven things I hate about you" eventually lead to the "seven things I like about you" and some of them are the same.

[MorningGlow]

5. My discouragement isn't overt, but there are little nasty things lurking in the background

What I mean is, right now my life is pretty peaceful. I am grateful for that, because quite frequently it's not! :crazy: Mr. MG is doing all right at his job; MG Jr. has found that "Camp Kindergarten" is fun and has proclaimed that he likes his teacher (who will be his teacher in the fall), the other kids, and the aide, AND has "three girlfriends" (all the girls in the class, thank you very little! :eyes:); and my responsibilities--freelance work, house renovations, the housewifey stuff--are all manageable. Our bank account is not veering into the red. My eight-year-old Jeep passed inspection with no major repairs required. My 83-year-old mother's and my 80-year-old aunt's health is good. My brother and his family are doing well and they weren't affected by the recent earthquake in Cali. (And--hee--we took MG Jr. to the airshow last weekend and I didn't see my former elder there as I had feared I would, because her husband loves that sort of thing.)

So...no great shakes in the personal life is a GOOD THING.

However...there are little niggling thoughts in the back of my head, all of the political and world-view variety. No matter how much Matthew has assured us that Obama will be president, I am on the alert for dirty tricks. I can't stand the level of "discourse" regarding the elections in the news and even among all the John Q. Publics (dumb people make me :banghead: ). The economy, foreclosures, tainted food, and even the way-out conspiracy theories (all of which I happen to believe) sometimes keep me up at night. And I think that is a form of discouragement.

Right now my challenge is not to help manifest the negative outcomes, so every time those thoughts come creeping in, I acknowledge them but don't dwell on them--even if that means leaving GD and GDP and spending all my DU time here and in the Lounge! :P

[glowing]

6. Its all about acknowledging them without giving them legs to crawl..

Sometimes hard to do.. we are people and people have emotions and we shouldn't stiffle our emotions, but we also have to help them stay positive.. especially, when a lot lately doesn't look all that positive to me.

[Shallah Kali]

14. It is important to allow emotions to flow not stifle them or wallow either

It is like exposure therapy for phobias. Extremely unpleasant but necessary to let the emotion play itself out remembering that I am not the emotion, I am the one experiencing it, and yes eventually it will run out of steam. Avoiding emotion just stuffs them into storage in the Shadow where they get bigger, nastier, and then breaks out to exacerbate the H*** out of other problems at the worst times.

You have to let it flow to let it go.

[I Have A Dream]

18. As my husband says, "you deal; you heal." nt

[OneGrassRoot]

7. discouragement, hopelessness, fear.....

I am an empath. I find myself crying nonstop since yesterday, for no particular reason. I shared with an intuitive/psychic friend who said she has been feeling a very uneasy feeling for the last two days, so my emotionality makes her wonder.....

Hopefully something will lift soon and we will sense much, much brighter emotions and experience more joyful things manifesting around us.

[MorningGlow]

8. Something else I just thought of

The earthquake in California. And my mom just told me she heard there have been NINETY aftershocks. There is a lot of unease, manifesting differently all over the place--people's personal lives and Mother Earth--and it all affects everything else. My son and I are empaths too; I haven't felt like crying, but my son has--a LOT. Heh--a sure-fire cure for an empath to avoid falling into the emotion--expend your energy buoying up a 4-year-old empath. (In other words: "Please place the oxygen mask over your mouth and nose before assisting other people"!)

[OneGrassRoot]

9. LOL!

Great advice. :) I shall try to remember that.

I'm trying to stay in the flow and just focus, focus, focus.

:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

10. Yes, I feel it too. I was just thinking this last night.

:(

[Why Syzygy]

11. I'm glad you started this thread. Thanks!

We all know about upbeat attitudes and gratitude lists. I am the most upbeat person you would encounter, the Cheerleader type. But, I'm TIRED. I'm bordering on cynicism too, and at times am tempted to give it full rein. It's one option. I think, "this is why old people are crotchety (at least have that reputation. I don't mean to imply ageism. They've seen too much for too long". I have crept into the "old" age bracket. That doesn't put a rosy spin on things no matter how much I try to bring a positive thought to it.

I want to revisit this thread when I get back from the DENTIST (I broke a tooth last night. :nuke:
My intention for discussion is to move beyond discouragement. I certainly don't intend to build a camp there .. but it's always a choice!

Lots of good things posted already. This is what I wrote in SG's thread in part >

Anyway. Yeah, there's a lot of discouragement afoot. A lot of whammies. It may seem contraindicated to have a thread discussing discouragement in THIS group, but maybe not. Is discouragement the loss of courage? Is that wrong to admit? What is that other quote (excellent one from BI, btw) .. The Taoist tells us to welcome all our emotions. I read that here and have tried it. It's kind of fun to say, "Hello, Anger, you old dog"! or something like that. So, should we not welcome Discouragement and ask, "What are you here to show me"?

I just posted on the prayer thread that I am discouraged, and been fighting it. Loss of courage. That's what it means I suppose.
...
edit: I hear this from others too .. there's also that component of why does shit happen when I think I'm doing the "right" things .. It's perception. Mine is presently skewed.

[I Have A Dream]

12. I think that this thread is a good idea because it lets us know...

that we're not alone in what we're feeling and that it's not necessarily what we're doing that's causing our feelings since so many other people are also feeling it. I personally think that it's just the energy that's around right now, and that things will feel differently for most of us soon; we'll not feel quite as beaten down by things that we normally can handle. It's never a good idea to deny our feelings because we can't deal with them if we don't admit that we have them.

I hope that your tooth is doing better, vsm. :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

29. Thanks, Dream.

It needs a crown. $950 I really am going to start a savings account for dentures. I'm so sick and tired of teeth falling apart.

[mother earth]

13. Your thread is exactly how I am feeling this week. I have been on

what feels like a never ending job search and am really feeling the strain of it this week, I usually am upbeat, but it's been impossible to do so this week. I've reached my fill, I guess.

Hope things get better soon.

[Shallah Kali]

15. Sing it everybody! Let it all out! "Gloom, despair and agony on me-e!"

[MorningGlow]

19. ROFL!

"Deep dark depression, excessive misery! If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. Gloom, despair, and agony on me!"

Can you BELIEVE I just typed that from memory?! OMG I remember watching Hee Haw with my grandparents on Saturday nights. They'd come over for dinner and then we'd be forced to watch Lawrence Welk and then Hee Haw. Or the other way around. I forget. (Heck, I was, like, 5!)

[rosesaylavee]

16. Discouragement

or loss of heart?

I have in the past felt strongly positive about where I was going and how I was going to get there. No matter how many obstacles, I would just figure out how it could possibly work if I went down an alternate path to get to my goal. Somehow the past several months, I don't have that surety or confidence. I have lost my zest and hope that I can make things in my life better. I do my job every day and participate in my world more as a spectator and less and less as a participant.

Not sure if I am just getting wise to how things are or too accepting of mundanity. To combat it, have been forcing myself to get up and do yoga in the morning to start my day, to focus and center myself ... ok, before I start the mundanity. :)

Maybe this is something we could start focusing on on our weekly health focus? Seems like there a lot of responses on this thread. A little Reiki or light focus would seem to be called for here. Maybe start the focus strengthening our heart chakra?

edit for clarity.

[Shallah Kali]

21. I am sorry I got impatient and started the project focusing on change and transition

see here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x73544

Maybe you might still find this indirectly helpful even though the focus is not on discouragement. My thought is that the current influx of energies are shaking loose a lot of old buried stuff in people and so energy to support the changes going on throughout all levels from cosmic to personal might end up helping heal the issues shook loose including feeling discouraged and hopeless. In my case I am mainly feeling discouragment in my root chakra as it connects to my feeling of safety and security in the world. Depending on what yours is connected to you will feel it elsewhere and maybe more than one area as they scan their bodies.

:hug:

[Why Syzygy]

22. I agree.

In addition to waking several mornings with a nagging apprehension about what I'm going to do to survive, the past week I have noticed a feeling that I am anticipating someone else showing up and getting the party started. I've begun to wonder what that's about. Initiating is my thing. I'm a GREAT starter and ice breaker person. Except not the past year so much.

It's great you are doing yoga in the mornings. I cannot seem to discipline myself for any self improvement pursuits. That's part of my disillusionment as well. I used to be able to do ANYTHING I set my mind to. What seems like the loss of that, is some of the most discouraging and baffling things.

Loss of heart, as you say, is a very good description. I wonder if there is a break down on levels of discouragement by age bracket. It's very hard for me to not resent "old age" (bring in the clowns).

[rosesaylavee]

24. I use a CD

called AM Yoga with Rodney Yee. It is a very gentle series of moves at the beginner level and takes about 17 minutes. I have had this CD for years so don't think I am just a whirl of determination and activity to get going on this!

It has helped me feel better physically and emotionally. My knees and hips felt better right away as they have been hurting without me really noticing.

[SeattleGirl]

17. Thank you, Callie, for starting this thread.

It does seem somewhat unusual to have a thread about discouragement in this group, but I think it's a good thing. One thing I've noticed about spiritual people (myself included) is that sometimes we can fall into the trap of thinking that there's something wrong with us, or we're not practicing a positive approach well enough, if we feel discouraged, or disheartened, or whatever. And that can lead to stuffing feelings, as someone up thread pointed out.

I remember years ago when I was going through a divorce, feeling guilty, I had a young daughter, etc. I was getting so very discouraged and downright depressed. I found a great therapist, and I was going through my litany of what a bad person I was one day, when he stopped me and said, "So, who recharges YOUR batteries?" I just looked at him and said, "What?" He said again, "Who recharges YOUR batteries? Who takes care of you now and then? Who offers you a shoulder? You're so busy running around taking care of people and things, while simultaneously beating yourself up. Who's there for you?"

That question was a cosmic smack upside the head. For the first time in my life, I realized that I, too, was worth some care, some love, some support, and a shoulder to occasionally lay my head upon. It is in my nature to be loving, caring, and supportive of others, and I like that about myself. But I'm human, and sometimes things just get to me; sometimes things just get me down. I don't give them an inordinate amount of energy, but I don't ignore them either, because I think either choice can give the negative things legs.

We are all human, we all have our joys and our sorrows, our triumphs and our defeats, our ups and our downs. What I believe is important, though, is that we remember we have each other here, and the people in our daily lives, that we can turn to. At any given time, some of us will be up; some of us will be down. Sharing and celebrating the joys of life makes them grow; sharing the sorrows and the frustrations, without giving them undue energy, can help those sorrows and frustrations diminish.

For my own personal situation with the job I lost, I'm not feeling devastated like I was the first few days. I know I'll find another job; maybe one that I'll really love. It is because of you here, as well as other people in my life, that I can go on without that terrible feeling of devastation, because in sharing THAT with others, I'm able to find my way back to my strength, and able to care for and support others.

I have enjoyed reading people's responses to this thread. We all have things we're dealing with, yet none of us seems to be wallowing to the point where we're lost.

:grouphug:

[Callie McAllie]

26. It's a really good point that you make

About taking care of ourselves too. I let that go for a long time, but am trying to be a bit kinder to myself these days.

[lildreamer316]

30. Abraham talks about 'contrast'

and being appreciative of that, because then it helps us to identify what we do want from what we don't.
Comedian Christopher Titus says "I don't fail; I succeed in finding what doesn't work!"

I try to keep these in mind when I'm experiencing this feeling of discouragement.

[wovenpaint]

20. well, I'll add my two cents

:hi:
I've been feeling the same way. I've had a couple of (thankfully, minor) health issues this summer that are resolving nicely-and I feel very grateful for this.
But overall, I feel like a boat that has lost an oar, and I'm swirling around slowly. I feel very dulled. It's very unlike me-like many of you, I'm a good "cheerleader", lol.

Anyway, thanks to IHAD who posted Karen Bishop's article! It helped me to feel less weird, as I resonated with what she wrote. There's been alot of posting here this month, so this dropped quickly-I'm adding links to those posts as I feel it's relevant to this discussion of discouragement. It's long, but worth the read, IMHO.

CURRENT ASCENSION SYMPTOMS, TOOLS FOR COMFORT, AND WHAT IS YET TO COME
Karen Bishop
July 24, 2008

Part 1 http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x73132
Part 2 http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x73188


AND-thanks for the good vibes that were sent for my poison ivy healing request-it was gone in 2 weeks (which is fast for a bad breakout)!!


Hang in there everyone! :grouphug:

[Callie McAllie]

27. Karen Bishop is worth the read

this quote about the impact of the summer solstice in particular struck me as relevant to all of us here:

"...lightbearers were almost stripped of their power and along with this, much of who they thought they were"

Maybe that's why we're feeling so discouraged? Soon it will turn around and we will all be our upbeat, cheerleading selves again! Which so many of us seem to be.

Which almost begs another thread...were any of you actually cheerleaders? In school, I mean. I confess, I was not, due to my lack of physical coordination, not my lack of desire.

Go, team, go!

:applause:

[Why Syzygy]

28. haha!

Cheerleaders. I wasn't a 'cheerleader' in school. I made drill team one year and we moved that summer. We moved around so much. I tried out for cheerleader once and my mother laughed at me. Once I tried out in front of the PE teacher (because I had just moved to that school and for some reason cheerleader was open and drill team was not). She said I was too 'graceful'. I didn't have those POUND EM body movements. I sure am not all that graceful. OT . but for example, I hate my gait. When I see video of me walking I just want to HIDE. It's embarrassing.

Weren't they popularity contests mostly? Voted by the student body? All the athletes and cheerleaders were my friends the two years we lived in El Paso (freshman and sophomore). I recently looked at my old yearbook from those two years and had forgotten how many friends I had, and it's no wonder that was the most devastating move of my life. I went to three high schools.

It would make a good thread. What makes us so encouraging for others? (And isn't it fortunate we found each other!) :hug:

[lildreamer316]

31. Being a Leo, I bet you slink.

I do. I used to get teased about it in HS all the time..my hips just naturally sway and I take long strides. They also teased me about it at the gentleman's club...but it set me apart from all the others.
I was on the flag team, btw. Funny!

[NuttyFluffers]

25. i actually seem to thrive on fatalism, oddly enough

there's something sublime about knowing the torment and doom coming down the pipe, because i also know there will also be an end to such misery. disquieting, i know. it's pretty bad right now, it will get worse, but it also will end. i don't know if that's particularly cheering at the moment, but it rather brightens my spirit. in fact, lately i find myself drifting beatifically around like i'm wandering the higher heavens while simultaneously slumming among the "embodied." but then i've also found that i get rather punchy and goofy from lack of sleep as well, and coffee used to make me sleepy, so who knows how i'm really wired. if i function off a contrarian programming, then my latest angelic kick is probably a very bad sign... which is fair warning to everyone here to hold on tight!