Anyone Have Any Tips On Having A Bullet Travel Through Your Body At A High Velocity?

[Heddi]

I read about how shooting yourself can help detoxify your gray matter and change you from being a persistent pisces to a more becoming virgo.

So later on today, after I clean the cat box and go shopping for free range cotton shirts, I think I might "bust a cap in that ass" as the kids now a days say and see if that will help me with my awful sciatica.

I figure I'm 32, 200 lbs overweight and have no social life to speak of, and even my cats hate me! What have I got to lose?

[realisticphish]

1. i suggest

homeopathic bullets. much cheaper, and no clean up

[Heddi]

2. ooh...that's a good idea

I wonder if they have copper in them, you know, to combat my non-existent arthritis!

[realisticphish]

3. make sure there's no

mercury :scared:

[Heddi]

4. or Amalagram!

whatever that is...I can't find it on my periodic table of elements so it MUST BE A BIG PHARMA CONSPIRACY BECAUSE THEY ARE ONLY OUT TO MAKE MONEY ON RIDICULOUS AND UNPROVEN 'TREATMENTS'

By the way, did I tell you that these bullets were HAND MADE by a man who proclaims that he is the WORLDS ONLY 200 year old Bullett Guru. He lives in Palm Springs and is selling the bullets for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS EACH but he's not out to make money or rip me off. No. He's not part of BIG PHARMA. He's just a 200 year old guru trying to make ends meet and help people like me. He went to school with Andrew Wiel, too.

[onager]

5. I can pass along what I learned in the Marines...

"A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of saying you f!cked up."

[mr blur]

6. Just believe it won't hurt you and you'll be fine.

You've just got to believe in your reality and not the bullet's reality. Easy.

[NoodleBoy]

7. Hey...

suicide sucks. Don't do it.

You might not have the life you want right now, but that's infinitely better than not having any life at all.

[Heddi]

8. I was beinh facetious

I would never commit suicide. I don't think you can blog from Hell, and I have far too many things to annoy my fellow humans with :)

This was a lame attempt at a copy cat of a (thankfully) now locked thread in :ahem: a special little place here on DU.

[NoodleBoy]

9. ok.

don't want to sound preachy or mean or anything, but you should make it more obvious next time if you joke about that again.

a few suicidal people I know only made their frustrations clear through joking around.

[Orrex]

11. You can blog from Hell

But you can't post images or embed video clips.

[Orrex]

10. Locking

No solicitations for medical advice, please.

[TZ]

12. ...

Heh. If I was a moderator (and this is prolly why they wouldn't want me) there'd be a boatload of threads that got locked with this message....

[chicagomd]

13. I have no idea why...

but that made me LOL in a big way.

[realisticphish]

14. i like your sig line

is that phil plait, or just a random phil?

[chicagomd]

15. Thanks.

Actually it is a DU original inspired by one of the rather prolific linkers of pseudoscience B.S. in the health forum. Add the second letter of the alphabet to the name of the law and there you have it.

[comradebillyboy]

16. As a gun nut, former engineer, physics teacher and

Viet Nam veteran I can tell you that I have shot many things many times. It is intuitively obvious to the most casual observer that a high speed bullet in your gray matter will render you indifferent to being either a Virgo or Pisces.

On the other hand you may find shooting things other than your self a pleasant diversion from your day to day cares. Blasting a watermelon or cantaloupe with a .44 magnum, 45acp or double ought buck shot can be very therapeutic and soothing. I always feel better after a morning of shooting. Your weight will be no disadvantage at the gun range and you will find other gun nuts to be quite friendly and helpful.

[Heddi]

17. i do have a .22 rifle

that we've taken to the range exactly one time in,,,,uh.....9 years?

On one side of us was an off duty cop with his .45

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

On the other was a guy with a double-barrel shotgun
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM

then there's us in the middle with our .22 rifle
ping. ping. ping

ha ha