Revolutionary New Insoles Combine 5 Forms of Pseudoscience

[lizerdbits]

I was cruising the Onion during my lunch minutes and thought this nearly 10 year old article would be thoroughly enjoyed.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29554

In addition, MagnaSoles employ a brand-new, cutting-edge form of pseudoscience known as Terranometry, developed specially for Integrated Products by some of the nation's top pseudoscientists.

"The principles of Terranometry state that the Earth resonates on a very precise frequency, which it imparts to the surfaces it touches," said Dr. Wayne Frankel, the California State University biotrician who discovered Terranometry. "If the frequency of one's foot is out of alignment with the Earth, the entire body will suffer. Special resonator nodules implanted at key spots in MagnaSoles convert the wearer's own energy to match the Earth's natural vibrational rate of 32.805 kilofrankels. The resultant harmonic energy field rearranges the foot's naturally occurring atoms, converting the pain-nuclei into pleasing comfortrons."

[semillama]

1. and here I thought this thread would be about Kinoki footpads...n/t

[Orrex]

8. Which, by the way, my local pharmacy has started carrying

If I thought that the pharmacist himself had any input re: inventory choices, I'd ask "didn't you study any of that 'science' stuff in school?"

[semillama]

9. I've seen them at CVS as well

Of course, I also noted a fishbowl full of 50-cent ping-pong balls at CVS too, so who knows what goes on in the purchasing division?

[TZ]

2. You do realize that if you posted this elsewhere

without reference to the Onion people WOULD take this seriously....

[onager]

3. And that's OK, long as we get their credit-card numbers...

:hi:

[lizerdbits]

10. I dare someone to post the whole article in the Health Scare Lounge

without the link. The first 10 responses would ask where to buy them. Actually most of them would since we'd know it was BS and would be standing back watching.

[muriel_volestrangler]

11. With the words like 'pseudoscience' changed to 'science', of course

I don't think anyone's wearing 'pseudoscience' as a badge of honour, yet.

[Deep13]

4. Wow! Magnetic insoles?!

I can't figure out how they work so well when my feet are not made of metal.:sarcasm:

[realisticphish]

5. to quote mst3k

"now place your hands above the rail" (hands stick to it) "They're magnetized"

"and if your hands were metal, that would mean something"

[Deep13]

6. Keep it on the road! We're in the tubes back here!

That is exactly what goes through my head everytime I see some quack rememdy involving magnets.

[realisticphish]

7. "thank goodness I saved you"

"give Uncle Scrotor a hug"

Still one of my favorite mst3ks, especially the riffing of their own credits...

"the amazing RONDO!"