OMG! WTF! LOL I have MAGELLANS DISEASE I know for sure

[Heddi]

seriously!,

As you may have known I was impreg. by Orbes!! in October when they (the ORBES) found my Kitty Kat outfit too prescous to risist. They henceforth crawled into my VAHINA! and Impreg. me.

omg!

Anyway, today I notified myself that I was SCRATCHING my ARM and I looked and pulled my arm from under my VELOUR LIME GREEn SOFA THROW and low and behold. , I found this COMING OUT OF MY ARM SCRATCHES:

<img src=>

The CRAFTY thing is that these spaghetty are all MICRO SKOPIC and I happend to have ELECTRIC MICROSCOP at my TRAILER so I could SEE THESE they are very small do not let the picture of tasty pasta fool you THEY ARE SMALL AND COMING OUT OF MY ITCH HOLE ON MY ARM.!!

I kept itching and iTCHING and I found this too, it just cralwed rite out and HID UNDER THE CARPET AND NOW I CAN'T FIND IT but this is a good reprentation of what it was looked like.:

<img src=>

OMG! you guys what should I DO!?!?!? I know I am going to call those MONSTER SHILL ASS HOLES the "CDC" that stands for Complicated Dying Commies by the way heh and the "NHI" and I don't know what that stand for but this is just an OUTRAG!

[beam me up scottie]

1. Gack!

Goddamn you, Heddi! My head is pounding and you made me laugh, now I have to take a pill from Big Pharma. :spank:

But that's what you had planned all along, isn't it?

Oh yeah, I'm on to you.

[fadedrose]

2. Take 2 aspirin and lay down for 42 minutes...nt

[cosmik debris]

3. Not to worry.

A new all purpose remedy has arrived. I just learned about it in the health scare lounge.

http://peoplespharmacy.com/bed-soap

[Heddi]

5. hmmm...

From the Bed Soap page:

"Behind the Making of Bed & Leg Soap
When the FDA banned quinine for leg cramps it took away the only tool doctors had to treat this common and painful problem. People can still drink tonic water, but it takes a lot to provide the same amount of quinine a doctor woulud have prescribed." edit by me: Quinine is still used for leg cramps, albeit less frequently because more people have success with gabapentin for RLS. Also, you'd have thunk that the manager could have afforded himself the use of a spell check "woulud"...oy

With no sanctioned medical treatments, people are turning to home remedies. A bar of soap is one of the most ingenious we have ever heard of. There's no science to support this home remedy, but so many people tell us it has changed their lives that we think this is pretty cool.
Joe and Terry Graedon
The People's Pharmacy

Wait...what? NO SCIENCE TO SUPPORT THIS HOME REMEDY? but we think it's pretty cool....yeah, I think it's pretty cool to get suckers to pay $9 for a bar of soap (plus shipping) for something that has no proof that it does work, or even HOW it would work.

I'd love for someone to explain to me how a PEICE OF SOAP UNDER YOUR SHEETS will stop leg pain. SERIOUSLY. Osmosis? Get the fuck out of here. I bet if I ventured into their site I'd find a "pain knife" to put under your bed during painful events like childbirth "There's no science to support putting a knife under the bed to ease pain, but hey! They did it in the 15th century, so why not do it now???"

what's that saying about a really fucking stupid and gullible person and their money....

[bluedawg12]

6. We don't need no stinking science.

[cosmik debris]

9. You are a challenge to the Medical Arts and Sciences

I suppose you have already tried vitamin D, it prevents cancer you know.

And I suppose you have already tried coconut juice, it cures AIDS you know.

But have you tried Remote Reiki? I am a Grand Imperial Double Diamond Remote Reiki Master With Oak Leaf Clusters. I'd be happy to heal your itch holes (but just the itch holes) for 4 easy payments of $49.95. As soon as the money is in my Pay-Pal account I will start sending you healing energy. You ought to be lying down for that. My Reiki is strong medicine!

[Heddi]

10. KEEP YOUR'E GRUBY PAWS OFF MY ITCH HOLES

You're mind is so CLOSED1!!

[cosmik debris]

11. So, have you tried Homeopathic Capsaicin

It is being pushed by the same person who seeks out placebos for the added placebo effect.

If that doesn't work, just post your complaint in the Health Scare Lounge. I'm sure you will get the best medical advice available for the price.

[Heddi]

14. CAPSYSIN is for SNEEZIES

I have ITCHIES god you shils can't even get your HATRED for EARTH MEDINCINE down PAT ENOUGH to MAKE FUN OF IT correctly.

Oooh let me guess...go see a doKKKter right? Oooh when I had my sezure fit and drooled and passed out GO SEE A DOKKKKTOR right?

yeah. whatever SHILL. Your mind is so CLOSE you can't even open it to POSTABILITYS that EATING 4 POUNDS OF RAW CHILLY PEPPERS A DAY IS BENEFITS TO THE GUT SYSTEM ha! proof me wrong liar's!

You know that my RESTLES LEG SYNOMOME went away when i got rid of the FLUKE IN MY USTRUS! Proof me wrong I DAIR you to! You CAN'T because YOU WON'T ! ha!

You know what? I don't even THINK of putting you on INGORE anymore because YOU'RE LIAR is so FUNNY it's TRUE! I love reading the "so called" COMMEN SENCE you "people" try to push. OPEN YOUR MINE! to the postability that MABYE just MABYE "so called" WESTERN mediSIN isn't all its cracked up to BE! Huh? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM APPLES, applehead?

Oh and SUPPOSEBLY magelans disease is just a hoxe. Yeah. Tell that to the YARN BALLS falling from my anus!! DISBELIFER!

[cosmik debris]

16. I was only trying to help.

But if you prefer to suffer and complain...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=214&topic_id=203052&mesg_id=203052

[Heddi]

17. I am not a COMPLAINER.

I am just the TYPE OF PERSON that lets others know when I am pissed off and THAT IS NOT COMPLAINING that is VENTING or something.

[cosmik debris]

18. If you are too closed minded to accept my help

I have nothing to offer you but my prayers. :)

[JitterbugPerfume]

21. see? that proves it

if youse guys wuld just stop saying bad words the world wuld be perfeck

[cosmik debris]

22. If Heddi could only accept the blessing FSM has given her.

Those worms that she is using to make funny hats are really the tender tendrils of young spaghetti monsters who have been transsubstanitated into her body from the holy taco shells she ate last week.

The power to heal herself is within herself.

[TZ]

12. wait...

Let me get this straight, the same woos who go on about nature and nutrition being a cure all won't eat A FUCKING BANANA for leg cramps but instead buy some woowoo product? God they are such hypocrites.

[cosmik debris]

13. You are a mean old scientist who wants them to suffer. n/t

[skepticscott]

20. I've always found that ironic, too

A lot of the people who avoid anything from GMOs like the plague, because (they claim) it hasn't been tested adequately, are the same ones who pop "herbal", "naturopathic" or other such remedies like they were candy, even though they have not been tested AT ALL to show that they are safe, or even do what they say they do. I guess when you've already made up your mind, anecdotal accounts are as good as gospel, but no amount of scientific evidence will ever be enough.

[nickgutierrez]

27. It's nature, and nature is healthy.

Also, there is no such thing as poison, except the stuff sold by BIG PHARMA!!!11

[uppityperson]

23. Shill here. Wouldn't this be a good use for the end bit of shower soap?

maybe I should start marketing my soap slivers?

[Heddi]

4. YOU GUYS I'm TOTALLy SERIES!!! This is NO LAUFING MATAR!

Seriues. I'm SO DISTROT right now I can't even THINK and I know your all HA HA but this is NOT FUNNY

Just now I looked and the ITCH HOLES are all OVER my ARM this is an EPYDEMEC of GASTRONOMICAL PORPORTIONS!!1

So I just PULLED THESE OUT OF MY ARM HOLES


AND then I did this with them TO KEEP THEM FROM SPREDING



Serious! Guys! What do I DO? I know your MINDS ARE CLOSED to the REALITY of MARGELO'S DISASE but this is NOT 'FUNNY HA HA" this is FUNNY WEIRD!!

help! The STRINGS of STATAN are covering me and soon I will look like THIS: BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT me for to IMPREG ME with they're STRINGY SPAWN! help!

[bluedawg12]

7. If you aligned your Chakra Orbies like this

and take a "paw-di-cure" you would feel much better.



:rofl:

[beam me up scottie]

8. I must say I admire those colours.

I'm a green/purple/blue kind of girl, pastels give me hives.

Do you think your diet affects the colour of the strings?

That last picture looks like something I found when I cleaned out my laptop's cooling fan yesterday.

We should get knitter in here, I bet she'll know what to do.

[Heddi]

15. well crazy HATER I hope your happy now

because I've been pooping string balls all night long THE MARGALENS STRINGS have invaded my COLIN! help!

But I have to say that it is a very WORSTED WEIGHT WOOL and once I cleaned it up it felted reall nice and I made this
while GOOGLING the ORIGAN OF THE STRING!! did you know that some people think they are WORMS!??!?!?! Did I just make a FELTED WORM HAT ew that is just as BAD as SUJESTING that I take PILLS for my UTERS FLUKE that cosed my SEZURE!!! it's true.

[skepticscott]

19. I've looked at samples

from Morgellons people...they really are a sad lot, and getting horrible information about what's wrong with them. This is one instance where the internet has done far more harm than good in bringing people together. All it's done in this case is to reinforce a dangerous delusion.

[nickgutierrez]

24. So, now you have to figure out...

...why you CHOSE to let those noodle-thingies and that monster inside your arm. You CHOSE to have that itch-hole, and you need to figure out why before you can cure it.

(By the way: :rofl: )

[TZ]

25. !

Best.snark.ever! and I thought your sports forum snark was funny..:thumbsup:

[trotsky]

26. Thank you all for this wonderful thread.

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Sorry about the ORGASM DISEASE though. No, wait, I wouldn't be sorry about that.

[Heddi]

28. Oh hush WHY DO YOU WANT ME AN OTHERS TO SUFER?

your all ha ha poor heddi has string coming out of her A$$ but you know what COMMIE It's NOT FUNNY and maybe if you would PUT DOWN YOUR MERK ANd PHARMA PAYCHECK for once you'd HERE THE SCREAMS of the inosents that SUFER with HORRIBLE DISODORS that CANNOT BE CURED BECAUSE BIG PHARMA DOES NOT WANT THEM CURED have you ever thot about that huh shill

just for that see if I even ATEMT to make you a hat or nice AFGHANISTAN from the fibers from my holes of itch. I was going to be nice and SHOW YOU ALL that MARGENS DESES is REAL but not you I hope you freeze hater

[mr blur]

29. Just create a different reality, and live there -

It's the Woo Thing to Do.

[bluedawg12]

30. You derned secularfundambulists!

Go aheed and larf.

But, yew jest proved Darwin does NOT exist!!!!

hah!

[Orrex]

31. I once knew someone who contracted Magellan's Disease via unprotected kinky sex

That'll teach him to go around the world.

[moggie]

32. It's spread by seamen? n/t

[bluedawg12]

33. No nasal mollusks.

Small ones.