So I stopped by a chiropractor's office today (dialup warning)

[Orrex]

It was for business, rather than for any spine-related maladies. However, as soon as I stepped through the door, I saw a big dry-erase board with the following warning hand-scrawled on it: "Do you know what's in a vaccine?" On a table nearby was a stack of photocopies of the following image (I grabbed one):


The next thing I noticed was the too-loud music blaring from a CD player near the reception desk. To my considerable astonishment, it was Christian "Praise" music. I confess that this defied my previous belief that Zamfir and assorted New Age tunes are the official music of the chiropractic profession. But I heard the familiar ditties "How Great Thou Art" and "Our God in an Awesome God" while I was waiting to speak with the receptionist.

So I concluded my business and exited the office, and only then did I look at the back of the photocopied sheet. Here it is:


You will note that this document claims that spinal misalignments are responsible for--among other things--colds, hay fever, hardening of the arteries, acidosis, swollen ankles, and a host of other surprising ailments.

What the fuck?!? How the hell can an actual, practicing medical facility distribute such false information? If a conventional physician made similarly baseless claims--in print, no less--she'd be banished from the medical profession. Yet the photocopied images are freely available online, so one can only conclude that the belief is not isolated to one chiropractor's office north of Pittsburgh.


Incidentally, in the parking lot some guy had set up a hand-painted wooden sign asking "Unhappy with Dr. Smith's Adjustments? Let's talk." I'd really like to hear this guy's story, but unfortunately he wasn't there at the time; the sign was propped against an empty lawn chair. I'll be heading back that way next week, and I plan to see if he's returned.


I'm tempted to post about all of this in the Healthscare Lounge, if only to learn how misaligned vertebrae are to be blamed for eczema and influenza.


Or am I being too left-brained about all of this?

[realisticphish]

1. That guy

is probably a homeopath

[Orrex]

2. Here's the thing that baffled me

Some years ago I knew a hardcore Born-Again Christian who condemned "energy therapies" as the work of the devil. He even went so far as to scold a Christian coworker for taking a yoga class, on the grounds that she was dabbling in the evil mystical arts.

Therefore I sort of figured that Chiropractic and Christianity don't mix, at least not the Born-Again kind. So when I walked into the office and hear the Marantha Singers belting it out, it really threw me for a loop.


Based on other literature scattered around the lobby of the place, I'd say that your conclusion is likely correct.

[Warpy]

5. Chiropractic has been sanitized by time

as have herbalists and other practitioners of stuff that doesn't work. In fact, hard core fundies are more likely to support herbalists and the like because their bibles reference herbs but say nothing about the nasty evidence based practices that actually work.

I worked in a health food store back in the late 70s* and know this to be true. Lots of the herbal pill heads were fundies. They shrank at the prospect of going to doctors, but would lavish money on chiropractic, homeopaths, herbalists, and endless bottles of supplements.

Trying to tell them that chiropractic was great for back strain but useless for everything else just caused them to reboot.


*I was there because I knew how to cook whole foods. I'd tell people the high potency, expensive vitamins were just giving them high potency, expensive urine and they'd buy the stuff, anyway. The store owner thought it was hilarious.

[lizerdbits]

3. Vaccines contain microorganisms and nucleic acids?!

OMG! My doctor told me they were made of flowers! And apparently my whole studying microbiology thing was a bad idea because I thought dysentery was caused by bacteria or amoeba but now I know it's caused by spinal misalignment. :eyes:

[TZ]

8. How stupid is this chiropractor

To not know that ALUMINUM is different from aluminum hydroxide. Fucking chemical idiot poster.
Oh plus its got HUMAN CELLS OH WHOAH.
Orrex...This guy is a scientific moron for having that poster. . This guy is gonna hurt someone permantly one of these days if that is indicative of his knowledge.
On edit: sounds like he may already have. I sense malpractice suits in the works.

[woo me with science]

4. I feel ill. nt

[onager]

6. Oh, thanks a lot. I am now being earwormed by...

"How Great Thou Art." Which causes me to channel my Inner Ten-Year-Old and immediately convert to "How Great Thou Fart."

Which I often sang to myself as I was forced to watch Billy Graham's Crusades as a young 'un.

"HGTA" was always the Money Shot. The "altar call," i.e., the big conclusion to Billy Grab'em's orgies of self-worship, crooned by the oleaginous and Magoo-bespectacled George Beverly Shea. Who IMO always looked like a guy about one step ahead of an Amber Alert.

[Orrex]

7. Robert Schuller was the preacher of choice in our house

I don't think I was ever forced to watch him, but when the big console TV in the living room was switched to The Hour of Power, there was little a helpless 10-year-old could do to escape it.

[Warpy]

13. My ex's earworm was

"What a friend we have in Jeeezus
Christ almighty, what a pal!"

The alternative lyrics deteriorated from there.

His dad was very churchy but the injection didn't take. My ex had almost as unsympathetic reaction to organized religion as I did.

[onager]

16. "Five foot nine...

"...looks so fine,
Walking down thru Palestine.
Has anybody seen my lord?

He's so neat, he's so cool,
Walks across your swimming pool,
Has anybody seen my lord?

If you run into a great big Jew,
With scars on his bod.
Crown of thorns, sandals worn,
Betcha it's the son o' God!

Saves your life, saves your wife,
Go down to his place tonight,
Has anybody seen my lord?

[uriel1972]

9. Our Sunday Paper

Had a full page spread from the chiros. Babbled on about the body's 'innate intelligence' and how misalignment of the spine intefeared with it and how chiros could make it all better :puke: something about subluxions (or however it's spelt):wtf: I had forgotten about chiros that morning and this reminded me all over again. It added a bit of sucky to my Sunday morning :(
Cheers
Uriel

[PVnRT]

10. Did you know? Vaccines contain dihydrogen monoxide!

I hear it's the chief component of nearly all industrial waste.

[Warpy]

14. That's not the worst!

They also contain sodium chloride, a combination of an explosive metal and a poison gas!

[SemiCharmedQuark]

20. ZOMG! I bet the unrec brigade will be along shortly to silence you!

They're bought and paid for by big Pharma, you know :P

[madinmaryland]

11. Funny you mention that. My wife worked in a Chiropractors office as

a receptionist ten years ago. She had painted them a nice diagram of the Spine. When you came in, they had all sorts of literature in regards to things that the spine affects. I can't remember what they called, but they were "curing" various allergies with a combination of placebos and back manipulations. (I guess that would be "9T" on their chart)

Yeah, :wtf:

[TZ]

12. Did they do spinal manipulations on babies?

That apparantly is a big trend now..to keep them healthy..:wtf:

[madinmaryland]

15. I think so. She took my daughter there, when she was four or five.

I think that was the youngest. It was free, since she had worked there, so I really didn't care. I don't recall if they did it to keep them healthy. Of course I pretty much ignore what they said about their treatments.

I have no idea whether it works or not, but a lot of it sounds like hocus to me. I've never been and never intend to. I'd rather just get a good message.

[onager]

17. Hey! I'm not dead yet!

Had a head-to-toe physical on Monday.

Including the flu shot, and a tetanus...

(thump)

Now looking at a big sign: "Other people this way." But on the plus side, I've already been offered a whole season of Ghost Hunters.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

18. Do you think the chiropractor can rid my body of all microorganisms?

Maybe a lumbar adjustment?

[realisticphish]

19. lumbar adjustment

is when you move a stack of 2X4's

*badum tish*