I am very relieved

[Tobin S.]

I've just cleared up some things I've been worried about for a while. I have a mental illness called schizoaffective disorder. It's sort of a blend of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and I have symptoms of both of those illnesses. Some people who have the illness will sometimes exhibit more symptoms from one side of the illness than the other. I tended to be more schizophrenic than bipolar. I experienced crushing depression and a few manic episodes, but the depression appears not to be physical in nature, but more of a situational consequence of experiencing psychosis. I know that because as soon as an antipsychotic was given to me, not only did the psychosis disappear, but the depression did as well without the introduction of an antidepressant. I was actually elated when I first got treatment. That first taste of reality after ten long years of an unimaginably painful existence was like....uh, well, nothing but religious analogies come to mind. I guess enlightened is about as accurate as I can get. It gave me the chills just now as I was recalling the experience.

My current reasons for relief and enlightenment are that for a while I thought that I had actually caused my illness (I was using recreational drugs here and there at about the same time as the onset of the illness); I've learned that the newer atypical antipsychotic medication that I take is unlikely to cause a serious problem called tardive dyskenesia; and that as long as I continue treatment I have only a ten percent chance of relapse (I'd heard that one already but I have confirmed it).

This means that I will likely live the rest of my life as a sane and functionally normal person.

The part about mental illness and drug usage is probably due to some programming left over from the Reagan years that I grew up in :). I learned from the book Surviving Schizophrenia that the reason a lot of people think recreational drugs cause mental illnesses is the fact that the person they know who has an illness developed it at a time when he or she was using drugs. But it just so happens that the onset of severe mental illness occurs in people at a time when they are more likely to be using drugs- late teens, early twenties. They would have developed the illness regardless. It's not a cause and effect kind of thing, just coincidence. I was 20 at the onset of my illness.

Tardive dyskenesia is a serious problem that can be caused by the older typical antipsychotics. Twenty percent of people who took those kinds of drugs long term developed the illness. It is characterized by uncontrollable body movements. Usually in the face as the smacking of lips, grimaces and other involuntary movements. It can also affect the hands and arms in a similar way. The atypical antipsychotics have been around for almost twenty years now, and while users of those medications still have the possibility of developing tardive dyskenesia, it is rare.

And lastly, I've confirmed with two doctors that I have a 90% chance of living the rest of my life without a relapse if I continue regular treatment. And in the unlikely case of a relapse in people like me, they've found that the episodes usually aren't as intense as when the illness was untreated and can be corrected with a short hospital stay.

I shouldn't have to worry about this ever again. The fields of science and medicine have given me back my life.

If you have any questions about this stuff or mental illness in general, fire away. I've found people to be curious about this, but sometimes afraid to ask about it. Mental illness is probably one of the most misunderstood problems in our society. It's something that people just don't talk about, but they should.

[realisticphish]

1. So, you're saying it was a miracle?

;)

congrats on the good prognosis!

[Tobin S.]

2. Thank you

Yeah, what doctors and medication can do today sure can seem miraculous- it's like magic. I am happy and fortunate to be living in the time that I do. It wasn't all that long ago that the prognosis for people like me was dire. I would have had no chance at all.

[Orrex]

3. What terrific news! Congratulations!

If you have a few minutes, check out this post in DU's Writing Group from a few months back. Don't know if it's something that would interest you, but I thought it might be worth mentioning:

LINK

[Tobin S.]

4. lol! That's me!

I opened a new account and changed my user name a little while back, because I was no longer "Droopy." :) The Droopy account was deactivated but not tombstoned. I'd still like to hear from more schizoaffective people, but the main problem is still getting them to write, probably just like asking anyone else to write essays when they don't have to and with no stimulus. I guess I'm kind of a freak in that regard. I write essays all the time because I enjoy doing it. I think you do the same, but we are not common. ;)

[realisticphish]

6. dude

you gave up an ancient account like that???

[Tobin S.]

9. Yeah! That's how strongly I felt about that handle

I guess I could have waited until the next name change amnesty, but we may likely not see another one for a long time. I just felt like that user name was inappropriate for me now and I didn't want to be known by it.

Here are the reasons:

Quit smoking April of '08
Quit drinking January of '09
Embarked on a weight loss journey in January of '09 and have lost 104 pounds since then. I'm 5'10" and weighing in at 185 now days.
I don't eat anything that's bad for me and I take lots of vitamins and drink lots of water.

I feel wonderful and I have totally changed my life. There's nothing Droopy about me now days. ;)

[Orrex]

8. LOL! Well, at least you know that somebody read and remembered your thread!

[uppityperson]

5. congratulations, sounds like lifesaving news.

People need to talk more about mental health issues and we need more affordable, accessible, non-stigmatic mental health care available.

I am glad for new meds as tardive dyskinesia is a real pain (having worked as a nurse for a number of yrs, and knowing several people with it).

Keep up with your regular treatment and good luck to you.

[uriel1972]

13. I live in a country in which all citizens are

covered by medicare, currently you can get 52 sessions with a psychiatrist per year and 12 sessions per year, plus an extra six in extreme cases, with a psychologist on referral by a general practioner. There are community support services as well. The public health system is still underresourced and overworked, but the private system is pretty good (mind you that's the patients who are generally functioning in society to the extent that they can afford private healthcare. The 'problem' patients generally end up in the public system, rather like our private school system).

That being said there is still a strong stigma attached to mental illness in Australian society. I won't be mentioning my schizoaffective disorder in job interviews. I am lucky in a way that I have enough physical disabilities so that I can cover for the time I have had away from work on the disability pension. I feel a little guilty as I am sort of letting the side down, when I could be shouting it load and proud and doing my bit to remove the stigma, but I want to be able to get a job in a library in the future.

Believe me I know how lucky I am to live in a reasonably sane and just society where discrimination is illegal and healthcare is a right. I've been through some brutal times, but if I had to survive in the US I don't know if I could have made it so far.

Oh yeah here a couple of sites for your edification on depression from down under

http://www.depnet.com.au the australian branch of depnet.com a european initiative
http://www.beyondblue.org.au an australian inititive to get the depression message out there. (the current director was the conservative premier of Victoria an egotistical prig, but don't let that put you off.)
edit for linkies I am so sloppy

[onager]

7. Your membership is being revoked!

We skeptics are supposed to be cynical, selfish and cold-hearted. You not only have the nerve to be HAPPY, but offer to help others. What is the world coming to?

Just kidding, of course. Good to hear from someone who is so open about their problems, with a subject like this that is usually kept secret. That alone could help other people.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

[Tobin S.]

10. Oh, no!

I wonder of the book store will let me return all of these Carl Sagan and Michael Shermer books. And to think that I had the nerve to buy a couple of books about atheism. Everybody knows "happy" and "atheism" are mutually exclusive states of mind.

[LeftishBrit]

11. That sounds like great news! Very glad to hear that things are looking up

By the way, have you read Stuart Sutherland's "Breakdown", an account by an academic psychologist about his own experiences of bipolar disorder, and about treatments of mental illness in Britain and elsewhere? William Styron's 'Darkness Visible' is a more literary, and very moving and impressive, account of the author's experiences of depression. I'd be interested to know what you thought of these.

Anyway, all the best for your continued good health!

[Odin2005]

12. I beleive I have already mentioned to you the book I read saying that...

...Autistic Spectrum Disorders and Schizophrenia are the result of opposite patterns in the expression of maternal and paternal genes brain development. A fascinating book called The Imprinted Brain. Essentially, according to the book, you are exactly opposite of me when it comes to "theory of mind" and other instinctive elements of human social behavior, in Schizophrenia this social cognition, which the author calls "mentalistic cognition" is in overdrive, leading to the paranoia, delusions of persecution, delusions of grandeur, crazy religious nuttiness (which is the result of projecting human social reality onto the physical universe), and the like.

On the other hand, Autistics, according to the author, have a very hard time understanding conceptions of a personal god, which fits me very well.

I happen to know a woman with Schizoaffective disorder, a wonderful, kind, soft-spoken lady.

:hi: