FSTDT

[NMMNG]

Feel the Christian love:

I honestly don't care about your rights. If it were up to me, all Atheists would be burnt at the stake and or cast into a river with weights tied to their ankles and or placed before the firing squad, etc etc etc.

Apologist,

.....

Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human
beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals),
since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards
and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their
right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone
chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of
others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist's grave
marker? "Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a
dead Atheist". What else is there say? Nothing at all.
No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as
a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned
God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades. :)

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at
funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they
hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying
for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.

Daniel Joseph Min, alt.atheism

.....

Top Ten Signs you're a dumbass atheist:

10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society.
9. You repeatedly insist that man did not, in fact, evolve from an ape. Apes and men both evolved from another species who did not resemble Curious George in any way.
8. You criticize Christians who don't know their Bible, yet you have never opened any of Darwin's texts.
7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all.
6. You can't seem to understand the fundamental differences between fundamental Muslims and fundamental Christians (hint: strap-on TNT)
5. You willingly attribute all historical atrocities in Europe to a demographic that contained approximately 100% of Europeans during the period in question.
4. You also like to ignore the beneficial discoveries of the aforementioned demographic.
3. You don't realize that a closed system can be defined however the observer wants, so you throw out technological phrases to try to ignore the implications of thermodynamics.
2. You accuse Christians of being hateful and you hope that they DIAF.
1. Your biggest complaint is that these typically hopeful and caring people want to share the greatest single thing in their life with you. You're like an idiot who wipes with winning lottery tickets. Clap. Clap.

Clap.

Agent C2H6O

.....

I think there are a lot more cases of people being agnostic or atheistic, but then getting off drugs in order to become Christians. I don't know any Christians who actually do drugs. That to me seems like more of an escape from reality that non-religious folk tend to get into.

It would take a lot of drugs to convince me that I could know anything about myself and the world by being an atheist. It would also take a lot of drugs to convince me, if I were an atheist, that morality had more meaning than the indigestion I felt when I drank bad water in Mexico.

Michael Flowers,

.....

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

[TZ]

1. How very....Christian of them

Funny how they seem to overlook that commandment thing that says "Love thy Neighbor". I guess they need to chisel in a postscript..except if you are an atheist, gay, muslim or otherwise non-christian. Then hate is exceptable.

I like the one where they think Atheists have "never opened Darwin's texts". Most of us actually have..Except they are now called "Biology Textbooks".....
:puke:

[moggie]

2. The Darwin thing is a false equivalence

And it says more about the Christian's mindset than any atheist shortcoming. They need their bibble, so they assume we need ours too: but Darwin's works are not holy writ. His achievement was impressive, and his writings are interesting from a historical viewpoint, but things have moved on in the past 150 years.

[hyphenate]

37. I always thought it was

"babble" or "Babel"--at least that's how most fundies I've known sound. :) (The latter reference, of course, is one of their own, and very fitting, I might add.)

[NMMNG]

16. They overlook anything that might inconvenience *them*

Then they use the rest as a weapon against everyone else.

[John Gauger]

29. Why would the follow it?

It's all bullshit. They don't really believe any of that crap. They know just as well as we do that it's bullshit.

[YankeyMCC]

3. "does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?"

How about "does anybody ever cry at an xian's funeral?"

I mean aren't they going to a 'better place'

What assholes.

[NMMNG]

17. Yeah, they're with God now

People should throw a party. :sarcasm:

[moggie]

4. Responding to these is like arguing with someone else's two-year-old

The first two are acting up for attention. I'm against spanking kids, so it's no ice cream for them until they behave. Michael Flowers is just clueless and unobservant. The ethanol fan is not nearly as clever as s/he thinks, and sees strawmen everywhere. Sorry, these aren't particularly good examples of FSTDT!

[goddess40]

5. George H W Bush thought atheist's should lose their citizenship

Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.
http://www.positiveatheism.org/writ/ghwbush.htm

I've posted this before but it seems to fit with this thread also. After I first saw this I knew that his son had two vile parents, I had always thought that Bab's was the asshole in that family but I was wrong.

[NMMNG]

18. But we're not villified or discriminated against

:eyes:

[trotsky]

6. If only we could extract energy from stupidity.

The fundies would make America a net energy exporter.

[enlightenment]

9. Have to disagree -

To make money on exports, there has to be a need for it elsewhere . . . unfortunately, the rest of the world has their fair share of stupid, too.

I suppose we could put tight patents on the process and make money by selling the extraction process.
:evilgrin:

[moggie]

14. You probably could

There must be energy-producing activities which stupid people are more likely to indulge in.



Of course, they take in energy too. We can't ignore thermodynamics. But think about disposal after death: surely one could lure fundies into a form of death which would capture more of their energy than the conventional forms of disposal? This is just a modest proposal, of course, but lemmings are legendarily stupid, and they develop quite a lot of kinetic energy at the end...

[enlightenment]

25. ROFL!

At Bandelier National Monument in New Mexico, they used to have nets hanging from the cliff walls to catch the baby bats that tried to fly out of the cave before they understood aerodynamics. It was a sweet gesture, although I suspect it had more to do with preventing a bat from falling on a visitor's head than saving a young life.

Perhaps a similar rig . . . something that could extract the energy as they fall (lured by the promise of something . . . just about anything would convince, I suspect, although if they were in a heightened state of fervour the energy output would probably be much higher).

Of course, I'm not talking an actual net here. More of a chute.

[NMMNG]

19. Their hatred alone could generate electricity for America

:-(

[Warpy]

7. Ignorance should be a painful condition

Instead, according to posters like these, it truly is bliss.

[FiveGoodMen]

10. Ignorance should be a fatal condition.

[Warpy]

12. Ignorance is curable.

Pain would be a great motivator to cure it.

If it were fatal, we'd all die at birth.

[FiveGoodMen]

13. Only in the early stages.

Once the host gets comfortable with it -- or willfully committed to it -- it's pretty much a lost cause.

[Evoman]

8. I'd like to meet this Daniel Min.

And then I'd show him that he is completely right :mad:

[FiveGoodMen]

11. Funny, they described my feelings pretty well, except for their choice of target.

[moggie]

15. It annoys me that fundies tend to be so anti-animal

They have a horror of humans being "just" animals. On an intellectual level I know why they feel this way, but on a visceral level it angers me. You have to be completely oblivious to (or in denial of) the animal world, and even everyday human experience, to not see that we're animals, great apes: really great apes, admittedly, but animals all the same. So my great^n grandparents were also ancestors of chimpanzees: why should I feel ashamed of that? Haven't you met chimps? Horny bonobos? Compared to my uncle Bob, they're totally cool. When I look at the other forms of life on Earth and think "these are all my relatives", that's pretty close to a religious experience for me. Except when I'm eating.

[NMMNG]

20. But they don't mind the idea of us being made from dirt

Weirdos.



I myself love animals. They're often so much nicer and interesting than humans (especially kittens). And there's no such thing as a fundamentalist animal. ;-)

[moggie]

21. Well, I'm made from dirt

You're made from a rib. Don't worry, I'm vegetarian.

Kittens! There is no greater evidence of the fundamental rightness of the universe! My new year's resolution is to volunteer at a cat rescue place. I can't believe how dumb I've been. I grew up with cats (and in fact a cat was instrumental in leading me to atheism), but since leaving the parental home I've never lived in a place suitable for cats, and it just never occurred to me until recently that there was a way to get my cat fix without ownership.

Goats can be pretty fundamentalist.

[NMMNG]

28. I'd love to work with animals

Kittens in particular. :hug: They're the best.

[TZ]

24. Are you sure about that Buffy?

:) (me loves lolcats!!)

[NMMNG]

26. True. There is an exception to every rule.

[and-justice-for-all]

22. Oh please..

Why do xtians cry at funeral's then? isn't all part of gawd's plan? aren't they in their good gawd's graces now, sitting next to jeebus or some shit? Why then do xtian's cry at funerals?? could it be that they actually have doubts about their invisible man in the sky?? or are they all just selfish co-dependent smucks who only think of theirselves?

Xtian's only have a fantasy and a wish, they are void of reality and how the world truly works. That makes them rather ignorant and stupid as far as I am concerned.

[moggie]

23. Doubts?

Every day you'll hear about them praying for someone to be cured of this or that disease, but have you ever heard a Christian ask for prayers for someone's amputated limb to grow back?

[and-justice-for-all]

30. Well fuck no they are not going to put their hands together for that.

gawd does'nt heal aputees and for that matter, does'nt answers prayers. They would have the out come if they prayed to a gallon of milk instead of their invisible friends.

[NMMNG]

27. I'll take selfish co-dependent shmucks for $1,000, Alex.

:evilgrin:

[and-justice-for-all]

31. "selfish co-dependent shmucks for $1,000", for Buffy...

This invisible deity is said to have been the son of gawd, exercised miracles, crucified and final resurrected, who was it?

[NMMNG]

32. Who is Jesus?

:bounce:

[and-justice-for-all]

34. Oh, no I am sorry...

We were look for Dionysus.

[and-justice-for-all]

33. That site is hilarious...

and whats more, is that those clowns think they are saying something of intelligence!! HAHA!!

"I have a friend who witnessed a dinosaur fossil find (in a road widening cut) over a decade ago where an Indian arrowhead had directly damaged the bone. At that time he wondered why they were excavating so quickly. They claimed that it had to be a fraud. The local university, being evolutionists, hushed it up. This goes on all the time."

"That guy who has the museum in Kentucky showing dinosaurs and people living together is right. The dinosaurs had heavier bones, so when they died they sank deeper in the ground than the people, who had lighter bones. And the carbon deeper in the ground is older than the carbon in the upper zones, so therefore when the bones suck up that carbon it will give a false reading on the bones' age."

Fuck me, all that stupid in one spot. I do not know if I should laugh or cry.

[NMMNG]

35. Yep

We of try to find facts that support our hypotheses and theories (then change those if they're disproved by the facts). They find or fabricate "evidence" that supports the "facts" as they've already decided them to be.

[unpossibles]

36. yes, I have to admit I kind of love that site, although it also makes me sad to read too

There was one on there where someone was explaining why Gravity is wrong, and his example was that since we do not see small things orbiting large things - such as mice orbiting an elephant - then gravity is obviously a tool of Satan. For real. To that poster the world is flat and is described in perfect detail in their Book.

<banging head on wall>

[hyphenate]

38. Like many of us have been saying

for awhile now: they're completely batshit crazy.

The funny thing is, those who go into fundamentalism after being in the rational world most of their lives are REALLY nuts. For what reason, except neediness, would someone voluntarily leave planet earth and land somewhere over the rainbow? (Other than reading a good science fiction book or watch a good SF movie.)

[Mojambo]

39. "Good. Use your agressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you."

[Rob H.]

40. Oh, the irony

{Drugs} to me {seem} like more of an escape from reality that non-religious folk tend to get into.

Hello, talking snakes? Water into wine? Walking on water? Faith healing? The universe being created in six days? Dying and then rising from the dead three days later and then ascending bodily into Heaven? :crazy:

Shyeah. We atheists are the ones who can't deal with reality. :sarcasm:


ETA:

I don't know any Christians who actually do drugs.

He might think he doesn't, but he might be surprised. I knew a guy in high school who was a fundamentalist Christian (he later went to Liberty University!) who dropped acid, smoked pot, and drank. Fundagelicals can get their freak on, too.

[onager]

41. Thanks so much for keeping the flame alive!

I used to put up an FSTDT post once a month, when the new stupidities went up on the site. I've slacked off lately, so I'm really glad you posted this. And sent me over there for hours of fun!

:hug:

[LynzM]

42. Wow. Um, lovely.

"10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society."

No, we don't blame "God," we blame people's belief in a god (or gods) for much strife, guilt, grief, violence and suffering. Get it right.

/sigh

Much more to throw back at that but it's so nutty anyway, what'd be the point?