Atheist and agnostic quotes

[Neoma]

http://www.math.unl.edu/~augustyn/godisdead.html


Hilarious!

[NoodleBoy]

1. this is probably the best one, very appropriate:

"I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed
because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do."
-D. Dale Gulledge

[onager]

2. Thanks!

It's always handy to have these in one place, for Rapid Response!

Here's a really good book on a similar theme, James Haught's 2,000 Years Of Disbelief

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1573920673/qid=1110061816/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-3104130-3897749

Along with the quotes, it has bio sketches of the people.

Thomas Edison is especially interesting to me. He talked about his disbelief very publicly in a New York TIMES interview. The article actually spooked the directors of his company, General Electric. They were afraid it would lower the price of the stock! (I guess some things never change.)

Edison's second wife, Mina, was a devout Methodist. When they were first married, she was determined to convert Edison.

One night she invited several high-ranking Methodist clergymen to dinner, hoping that her husband would See The Light.

Edison put up with their drivel for a few minutes, then announced: "I'm not listening to any more of this damned nonsense!" And left the room.

After that, Mr. and Mrs. Edison pretty much agreed to disagree about religion, and lived together happily until Edison died.

[Synnical]

3. Stephen Roberts is probably the best, IMO

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - - Stephen Roberts

But I also like the Marquis de Sade's statement:

"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change."

But, then again, I'm a liberal.


:spank:

[progressoid]

4. Thanks, that will be good for some late night reading

"He's a born-again Christian. The trouble is,
he suffered brain damage during rebirth."

[0rganism]

5. minor technical point re "the average person" sig line

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that": replace "the average person" with "the median person" and you'll be accuate. It's quite possible that a very few incredibly smart (or stupid) people have skewed the average one way or another. The median is what you want to avoid the "Gates Effect" -- i.e., "When Bill Gates goes to see a movie, the average person in the theatre is a millionaire."

[Neoma]

6. hmm well...

its a George Carlin quote ya know..
Not my minor technical point to change.

[trotsky]

7. It reminds me of that old joke, if it is a joke.

That Reagan was shocked when someone told him that half of all American students are below average. :)

[Taxloss]

14. Apparently 40% of all sick days happen on a Monday or a Friday.

This is clear evidence of absenteeism.

/Dilbert.

[Kolesar]

9. So *most* people are stupider than the average person

If the incredibly smart have a way of pulling the average up.

Medians and averages allow republicans to say things like "the average American gets a tax cut of $5,000, when it is the $100,000 tax cut to the 95th percentile taxpayers that pull the average WAY up. (note, the $5000 and $100,000 numbers are arbitrary. I don't have the data, er, propaganda handy)

[0rganism]

10. My guess is that most people are very close to the average

Don't know about you, but I probably can't tell when having ordinary interactions with those within a standard deviation of the norm which side of the distribution they're on.

And there's the problem of measurement, too. Which scale are we using? The standard IQ metric has essentially limitless room at the top, but only a fixed amount between "average human" and "cinderblock." I like to think of it as an expression of optimism on the part of the test's designers...

And then there's the whole matter of areas of expertise, education, and aptitude. A person could be an illiterate mechanical genius, or fluent in 12 languages but unskilled in arithmetic. Obviously these extreme examples are going to be rare, but they illustrate the conundrum that anyone who wants to quantitatively measure intelligence or stupidity faces. The extremes are rare enough to be difficult to sample, while the close-to-average are similar enough to be difficult to place.

You're right about the misapplication of "average" to tax cuts, certainy. I remember checking the calculation myself a few years ago, when it was first announced, and I was pissed as hell when I saw how it distributed across the population. Unfortunately, enough of the people who got screwed over think they're getting an "average" tax cut to make the scheme work in favor of republicans.

[EvolveOrConvolve]

16. In addition, statistics are meaningless

A more appropriate visual might be an upside down bell. The least intelligent are at the lower left side of the curved bell, while the most intelligent are on the lower right. However, a true bell curve would only appear in very large samples. The smaller the sample is, the more likely that one or two very smart of very stupid people skew the result.

I don't have any data to back it up, but I'd guess that a huge majority of people are either slightly less or slightly more intelligent than the average.

That being said, intelligence has little to do with a person's "smarts" (for lack of a better term). I know a lot of incredibly smart people who believe the most ridiculous fairy tales and voted for dubya even though it wasn't in their best interests. I also know people that would be considered less intelligent who are incredibly savvy, politically. They may not be "book smart", but they are "street smart", and know what will or will not benefit them. In short, intelligence doesn't guarantee that a person will use critically thinking when making decisions.

[YankeyMCC]

8. So many good ones...

But with Hitchhiker's Guide on my mind recently this one struck me as particularly excelent:

"If you ask the wrong questions you get answers like '42' or 'God'."

[A HERETIC I AM]

11. This one MUST be made into a bumper sticker;

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer." - - anonymous

[Phentex]

12. I like that!....nt

:)

[onager]

13. Robert Ingersoll said something very close...

"Hands that help are better far than lips that pray."

Hmm. Ingersoll didn't believe in prophecy, but he made some pretty good predictions...

"An infinite God ought to be able to protect himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures. Certainly he ought not so to act that laws become necessary to keep him from being laughed at. No one thinks of protecting Shakespeare from ridicule, by the threat of fine and imprisonment." (from "Some Mistakes Of Moses")

And Ingersoll would have fit right in here...

"We have heard talk enough. We have listened to all the drowsy, idealess, vapid sermons that we wish to hear.

We have read your Bible and the works of your best minds. We have heard your prayers, your solemn groans and your reverential amens.

All these amount to less than nothing.

We want one fact. We beg at the doors of your churches for just one little fact. We pass our hats along your pews and under your pulpits and implore you for just one fact.

We know all about your mouldy wonders and your stale miracles. We want a this year's fact. We ask only one. Give us one fact for charity.

Your miracles are too ancient. The witnesses have been dead for nearly two thousand years." -- from "The Gods" (1872)

[Warpy]

18. Along with

"There are no saints, only unrecognized villains."

I think "Plastic Jesus" was written by Stan Freburg, though.

[Taxloss]

15. "Christianity has had 2000 years - and they're still complaining."

"Atheism is not having anyone to blame but yourself."

[EvolveOrConvolve]

17. Frank Zappa was intuitive AND amusing

"Remember there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over"
Frank Zappa (Heavenly bank account, 1981)

http://www.update.uu.se/~fbendz/atheism/ath_qots.htm

[onager]

19. I liked the Zappa quote...

...about raising kids. It went something like this:

"If you really want to raise happy, healthy kids, then don't let them get within 10 miles of a church."