Footprints

[semillama]

:evilgrin:

[moggie]

1. I had to google for this

I knew this must be alluding to some piece of glurge, but I didn't know what. For the benefit of the similarly clueless:

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed that he was walking on a beach with the lord.
Soon scenes of his life flashed across the sky and he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand one belonging to him and the other to the Father.
Then the saddest and lowest parts of his life flashed before his eyes and when he looked to see the father for guidance there was only one set of footprints.
Confused, he asked "Lord during the hardest times of my life, why is it you left me when it was then I needed you the most?"
The Lord then replied, "My precious, precious child, I would never leave your side, during the times of your life that were full of suffering and pain and there was only one set of footprints, that was when I Had Carried You.

Nope, I'm pretty sure it was the bird of prey thing!

[cosmik debris]

2. So, let's see?

"the saddest and lowest parts of his life" and the parts that were "full of suffering and pain" were when the lord was carrying him?

I think I would ask the lord to put me down and leave me alone!

I know correlation does not equal causation, but why take a chance? :)

[moggie]

3. Particularly since God refers to him as a child

"Show me, on this doll, where the Lord touched you".

[awoke_in_2003]

18. I am glad...

I had no beer in my mouth at the time.

[FiveGoodMen]

4. The Ellen version: "When there was only one set of footprints, that's when I was on your back."

[PassingFair]

6. Hhahahaha.

That's even better!

[Warpy]

11. I'm going to steal that one

and use it the next time anybody spouts that pious bit of nauseating glop.

I'll say it very loudly over their punchline.

They won't bother me again.

[cynatnite]

5. There is something really creepy about an old guy with a beard stalking a person like this n/t

[ihavenobias]

7. Awesome.

:)

[Random_Australian]

8. Hah! I know of one better though.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34168

One of my favourites.

[moggie]

9. That's very good

Also, if God were carrying you, the footprints would be deeper, because of the weight of one person plus one deity. God evidently isn't weightless, otherwise he'd leave no footprints when he wasn't carrying you.

I presume this footprints glurge is well known, then? I'd never come across it before.

[Random_Australian]

10. Oh, there was just a big poster of it above the desk I used to study at at home.

(It was a room a religious sibling had moved out of). I read it so many times when bored of study that I know it back to front.

[onager]

14. Very well known in the US

As R_A notes about his locale, it's very popular as a poster in the USA. Also as a decoupaged wooden wall hanging (sometimes with clock built in), trivet (one of my relatives has that version), do-it-yourself needlepoint wall hanging, couch pillow, etc. And probably as an impressive tattoo, after going to prison and finding Jesus.

For the record, religious gimcrackery is also popular in the Muslim world. Since representing the human image is taboo, much of it is Koranic sayings done in elaborate calligraphy, pictures of the Kaaba painted on plates, small books of verses from the Koran, etc. Many drivers carry the little books on their dashboards as good-luck charms. Sort of a Muslim version of a St. Christopher, I guess.

And speaking of "footprints," at a mosque in Cairo once I saw an actual preserved footprint of the Prophet Mohammed. Cough...

[moggie]

15. Oh, so THAT'S where he is

What's he in for?

[onager]

16. I don't know, but he was almost paroled...

...until he got hung up on the Boards.

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

[Deep13]

17. Bullshit, Jesus....

:rofl:

[rrneck]

12. The image is closer

to my experience than the text. Hey God - fuck you - you're not doing me any good anyway so get the hell out of here.

[Strong Atheist]

13. .

:thumbsup: