DU Catholic women-do you wear a mantilla or otherwise

[scarlet_owl]

cover your head for church? I was reading an article somewhere that stated that women weren't supposed to ever stop covering their heads. I ask this because I want to start wearing a mantilla. I feel in my heart that it is something I need to do. The problem is that nobody else in my church wears one, and I don't want to cause a distraction. I've prayed about it, but it still keeps coming back to that I should wear one, regardless of what others think. Sorry for the long rant. I don't know why this is causing me so much stress. I would love to hear some insights from the people here.

side note: As a feminist, I don't see covering my head as a sign of my inferiority as a woman. Quite the opposite. I see it as a sign of respect before the Lord.

[Maeve]

1. Not in my home church

Altho I do see the occasional use of them. I have one, just for special. I do, however, insist on dressier-than-usual clothes for myself and my kids at church, no matter what others are wearing. Sign of respect, as you said, but I try not to judge others for different standards.

If it makes you feel "right", do it.

[hedgehog]

2. I 'd love to wear a mantilla, but for the "wrong" reason.

I just think they look pretty. I do wear my sun hats in the summer, but I'm too shy to wear something as pretty as a mantilla. Everyone takes their coat off at church so I don't wear a hat in winter because none of my winter clothes go with a hat.

Look at it this way. You won't offend people conservative enough to want women to cover their heads in church. People on the other side of the fence will tell you that God cares what's in your heart, not what's on your head. If they can welcome a teenager in a mid-driff top or a kid in a soccer uniform, they can surely welcome your mantilla!

[DemBones DemBones]

22. God made beauty in the world and made us appreciate beauty, so how

could it be wrong to want to wear a mentilla because it looks pretty? ;-)

When we DID wear them, most of us thought they looked pretty and enjoyed wearing them. Excess vanity is a sin but it's not a sin to make ourselves look nice. Did you know that Pope John Paul II wore contact lenses? In his early life, he worse big thick glasses

[Cuban_Liberal]

3. Some do, and some don't.

Our parish is pretty mixed--- about 1/3 Hispanic descent, 1/3 German descent and 1/3 'other--- and a fair-sized plurality of women wear them; the percentage goes up on Holy Days and at Requiems. I'd say do what feels right to you--- God will know what's in your heart.

:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Ask your priest.

Next sunday when you're leaving, go shake his hand and just ask him about it. He'll give you some good insight, maybe?
Duckie

[XanaDUer]

5. When I was young in Catholic school

girls had to wear a lace round thing on their heads. Then, that was phased out.

Never wore anything on my head from that point of, unless it was a hat at Easter.

[Princess Turandot]

6. Somewhere along the line that changed..

when I was in grade school, while Vatican II was underway, I think we covered our heads with something. There may still be occasions where it is required. I know that they have (or had) rules for example for entering St. Peter's Basilica in Rome which are not the same as rules for other churches in Rome.

The Sisters at my last job did not wear anything on their heads at Mass except for the elderly ones who wore habits.

It's a free country: do what you want.
Men wear yamulkes in synagogue out of respect; they ask non-Jewish men to do the same.

[IndianaGreen]

7. Do you know the spiritual purpose of a mantilla?

It is a way for women to beg forgiveness for Eve causing Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. Their use was widespread by Catholic faithful women in Spain and in parts of Latin America, but not anymore!

[DemBones DemBones]

9. In the New Testament, St. Paul said women were to cover their heads

and not speak in church. I'm for covering your head if you like (and you're female) AND speaking in church!

FYI, Indy, almost all Catholic parishes have women as lectors (Scripture readers) and as Eucharistic ministers, who go up on the altar and receive Communion (Eucharist) from the priest and are then given either a ciborium or a chalice and assist the priest in giving the Eucharist to the people. They stand beside the priest in front of the altar. I'm a Eucharistic minister myself though I've been inactive for several years due to my health. I hope I can become active in the ministry again soon. The reason I agreed to serve in this ministry when our priest asked me to was that I wanted to be able to take Communion to the sick/ disabled/ elderly who can't attend Mass.

Much of the parish work of visiting the sick is done by lay ministers of the Eucharist like me, with the priest visiting people who are dying or in danger of dying. Only a priest can perform the Sacrament of the Sick aka Anointing of the Sick, which is one of the seven Catholic sacraments. When someone is apparently going to die, more anointing is done and different prayers are said and the Eucharist is given, too, i.e. "last rites."

[IndianaGreen]

21. I think that's great that women are allowed to be Eucharistic ministers

Correct me if I am wrong, but it is my understanding that a Papal commission under Pope Paul VI came to the conclusion that there were no scriptural empediments to women being ordained priests, but that their findings were ignored. Is this true?

[Maeve]

12. While one explanation, that was not the sole purpose

The tradition goes back to older customs, including the Middle Eastern concept of modesty (women's hair as their "glory" and a distraction to men) and covering the hair as a sign of married status (traditional Orthodox Jewish women and their wigs). The habits of nuns were often female garb of their time of origin and the wimple was once typical womens wear daily. That style lasted longer in northern Europe--probably because it gave additional warmth!

One lady I knew told of a time she went to Hawaii back in the days when Ohio ladies still covered their heads in church and she forgot her mantilla. She put her handkerchief on her head--until the congregation began to fill with folks in shorts and other very casual clothes. Suddenly, she began to feel over-dressed and foolish so she slipped the hanky back into her purse. When in Rome...

[Matilda]

13. I was told the reason a woman had to cover her head

was because her hair (especially when women all had long hair) was
a "snare of the devil" and would tempt the poor feeble men into
thoughts of sin.

It was always the woman's fault!

[meow2u3]

18. I was told this

That a woman had to cover her head not because her hair is "a snare of the devil", as you were taught, but rather, a sign of female ego, and for her to cover her head is a sign of humility before Christ.

The same thing can be said about men having to uncover their heads in Church. Most men I know constantly wear hats, and according to this same priest, a man had to show his head before Christ to mortify his male ego.

[Name removed]

19. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Matilda]

8. In Australia, they're only worn in some of the communities

where there's a big Italian population.

(Sigh) - they were so pretty - I still have mine put away, but I
haven't worn them since I was very young.

In winter time, I love to wear a bright beret, or a cute little hat,
and I always get lots of compliments. I don't think there's one
other woman in the church who wears one, not even the older ones,
but I always feel good when I do. It's nice to get complimented!

Go for it.

[DemBones DemBones]

10. I have a few hats and wear them to church

whenever I feel like it, though it's rare to see anyone else wear one. Some Filipina and Latina women wear mantillas but the Latinas mostly attend the Spanish Masses. I've even been known to wear dressy gloves in summer! I always get compliments when I wear a hat, too.

Last Sunday it turned very cold again here and I bundled up in a black sweater and black coat and my leopard-skin pillbox hat, which has a story behind it in addition to the Dylan song.

Hats keep your head warm in winter and keep the sun off you in summer so they're quite sensible. I often wear one of my straw hats for any activity that will have me outside for long, including shopping trips Sun exposure triggers lupus flares so I use sunblock, tinted UV-resistant glasses, etc., as well, but I don't mind wearing hats at all! I think I just convinced myself I need a couple of new hats for summer. ;-) And a nice mantilla, too. . .

Maybe we're just ahead of the curve, Matilda. :7

[Matilda]

14. If I wanted to buy a mantilla in Sydney now,

I'd have to go over to the suburb of Leichhardt, which has a huge
Italian population (and great Italian restaurants) in Sydney.
That's where I had to go to buy my daughter's First Communion veil,
back in 1992. So I'm glad I kept mine - two little shoulder-length
triangles, one black, one white, and a longer heavy lace black one.

A sign of the changing times - we used to have two big Catholic
stores in Sydney which sold everything the good Catholic could
possibly want, both gone now.



A P.S. - pillbox hats are my favorites! They remind me of Jackie
Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn.

[DemBones DemBones]

11. I really think you should do it. There's no reason not to

and if anyone comments, just tell them "As a feminist, I don't see covering my head as a sign of my inferiority as a woman. Quite the opposite. I see it as a sign of respect before the Lord." Quote St. Paul to them, too, if you like.

I've always loved hats and mantillas and wish it were still the custom to wear them. Those who didn't like them could always wear the little lace prayer cap or whatever they were called, as XanaDUer mentioned wearing as a child. You can still buy those and all sorts of mantillas. Not long ago I found a website that sells traditional mantillas of all sorts, including the ones that are waist length. I'll look for the URL.

They had gorgeous heirloom mantillas, including the sort you'd wear to a funeral as a widow, but also the simpler sort you used to be able to buy anywhere. Traditional Catholic women, who often drive long distances to attend a Latin Mass, cover their heads in church and seem to favor the really long mantillas. I had two of the shoulder-length triangular ones (a black & a white) because I attended Catholic and Episcopal services with friends back in the sixties. The last time I wore one was at my dear Granny's Episcopal funeral in 1967.

As I said to Matilda, I'm thinking about getting a mantilla. Whenever I see a woman wearing one, I miss the custom. I'm planning to go to a Christ Renews His People retreat in my parish next month and I'll bring up the topic to the other women.

Whew, it took forever, but I found that URL, didn't want to post this until I had.

http://halo-works.com/index.html

You'll want to buy a lot of stuff here! :hi:

[XanaDUer]

17. Lol!

I remember those white lace round thingys with fondness!

And we used to genuflect on the sidewalk when we walked in front of the church.

The white lace thingys were stopped in about 1975. I guess we were lucky no one got headlice. We used to bobby pin them on.

[scarlet_owl]

15. Thank you all for your insights. I really appreciate them.

I think I will talk to my priest about it when I go to confession on Saturday. Thanks again everyone! :hi: :loveya:

[Dorian Gray]

16. I don't,

though I have some friends who are conservative Catholics who do. I think if it is what you feel is correct, then you should do so. You have to go with how comfortable you feel in church. I doubt that you will cause a lot of distraction. (Though I say that coming from NYC, where all sorts of distractions happen regularly at mass. Cell phones, people talking, all sorts of crazy clothes!)

[DemBones DemBones]

20. One of the things I've always loved about attending Catholic churches

is the diversity of dress, which makes diversity of income obvious, because it's a lesson that all are equal in God's eyes (I realize that you see more social stratification in large cities so there *are* rich churches and poor churches, according to neighborhoods. But is it ever rigid stratification?)

When I would attend Mass with Catholic friends in the early and mid-sixties, I noticed repeatedly that some people were very dressed up, others much less so: men in sport shirts, women in simple skirts and blouses rather than the latest dress style. At Mary Star of the Sea parish in Virginia Beach, VA, people wore shorts to Sunday Mass in summer at least as far back as 1964. Often you could see that women and girls had bathing suits on under their clothes, too!

The Vatican, of course, was designed so that its "arms" embrace the faithful in St. Peter's Square. Here Comes Everybody, indeed!