The pastor threated to deny my daughter First Communion.

[rug]

He hands out slips at the door at the end of Mass that children who are preparing for First communnion and Confirmation are supposed to take and hand into their teachers to prove they've gone to Mass.

We usually leave through the side door to avoid the gladhanding.

So he sent out a form letter, not even mentioning the child's name, stating that because he hasn't received all the slips the situation must be "resolved" before the child can receive her First Communnion.

I sent him a letter stating I will provide him affidavits in lieu of the slips. I also sent him Canon 843.

And I told him my daughter's name since it wasn't on his form letter.

The thought that he would use slips as a bar to the Sacrament, rather than make a phone call or drop a note, dismays me. There are less than 20 children in the Communnion class.

Yet another stupid skirmish.

[hedgehog]

1. It really is sad that he doesn't know his parishioners well enough to recognize them.

It sounds like this isn't his first misstep, or you wouldn't be avoiding him.

[rug]

6. There is a history.

I had some (email) words with him over that ridiculous post card campaign last year.

And, ironically, he sent me an email a few years back complaining that I was disrupting his Mass when I got up to take my daughter (the same daughter) to the bathroom during his homily.

[Matilda]

2. I don't think they worry about prior regular attendance at our church.

They're happy to sign them up for First Communion and hope to encourage them to come along in the future.

[rug]

5. That's key: encourage, do not threaten.

[Gman]

3. My wife and I teach Sacrament Prep CCD

I teach my granddaughter's First Communion class and my wife teaches Confirmation. So, I'm here to tell you do not let it bother you. Just let somebody know you guys go to Mass. It's not personal. I can tell you that (IMHO) it's appalling the number of kids who are in sacrament prep that do NOT go to Mass. And it's because their parents don't take them. I'm like, why the hell are you even bothering to send them to sacrament prep? So you and your spouse can have a couple of hours of privacy on Sunday morning or something?

You're not the problem so please don't take it personally.

[rug]

4. Thanks for the supportive words.

Sunday before last, the Church was packed, standing room only. Four baptisms were scheduled for the 11;00 o'clock Mass. While leaning against the wall, I told my kids to take a good look at the families surrounding the infants as they were being baptized. I told them you won't see them again for months, if not years.

This past Sunday the Church was only 2/3 full.

What you describe is a real problem. Indeed, why bother if that's the only time you show up.

Still, this mechanical, stiff approach is not the way to pastor. There's got to be a better way.

Good luck with your classes.

[Gman]

7. You got that right

The Church even has studies that confirm what you observed. The next time most of those infants being baptized will be back in church semi-regularly will be for First Communion prep, then a few years later for Confirmation prep, then a few years later for marriage classes, then to get their kids baptized, and so goes the cycle.

Thanks.

[hedgehog]

8. My mother's comment on this is "many are called, few are chosen"

It's rather typical of every denomination. I've come around to the notion that maybe some of us are just yeastier (Matthew 13:33)than others. We keep things running so that the Church is here when other people need it the most.

[Joe Chi Minh]

9. I once heard it described as religion on wheels. If I remember correctly, it went

something like: Pram for the baptism, limo for the wedding and hearse for the funeral. Though it was probably longer and better than that.

Still, not every daily communicant is one God's own; and not every backslider, a renegade. I'm not even sure Damon Runyan's pithy saw could be adapted to conclude the previous sentences with the words, 'But that's the way to bet' - which, however, is not to disparage the obligation to regular Sunday attendance.