Well..

[undergroundpanther]

The ex is leaving. He said today he's moving out in a month.He will do next months rent than pouf. Somehow knowing I could face really tough times financially, it isn't freaking me out right now.Delayed reaction?

Or relief this controlling, soul crushing albattross is out of my life?

It's funny I stasyed with this guy ten years and he tells me how he wants to be freinds..*snort*
After he called me a c*nt and b*tch, last week in a tempertantrum and right after saying all that ,he was than demanding my therapist's # in case "I got suicidal" WTF was THAT?
I am so GLAD he's leaving. No more of his clutter and slop, no more of his snotty comments,and snide remarrks and verbal abuse. No more of his invalidation and superiority trips. no more of him invading my space, no more demands for silence,no more of his TV phobic crap,No more of his stinky bean water drifting up from the kitchen drain! No more papers,boxes and his messes to clean up! no more of HIM.
(being called a c*nt is a hidious degrading insult already ,being transgender it is also invalidating of MY identity on top of that I cannpot be freinds with anyone who uses words likeb*tch and c*nt as words to hurt me with,,..He has not respected my boundaries repeatedly and has continued to provoke me with insults even after I asked him to not speak to me.

Here's to freedom.

Wonder what happens next?

Invisible Sun

I don't want to spend the rest of my life
Looking at the barrel of an Armalite
I don't want to spend the rest of my days
Keeping out of trouble like the soldiers say
I don't want to spend my time in hell
Looking at the walls of a prison cell
I don't ever want to play the part
Of a statistic on a government chart

There has to be an invisible sun
It gives its heat to everyone
There has to be an invisible sun
That gives us hope when the whole day's done

It's dark all day and it glows all night
Factory smoke and acetylene light
I face the day with me head caved in
Looking like something that the cat brought in

There has to be an invisible sun
It gives its heat to everyone
There has to be an invisible sun
That gives us hope when the whole day's done

And they're only going to change this place
By killing everybody in the human race
They would kill me for a cigarette
But I don't even wanna die just yet

There has to be an invisible sun
It gives its heat to everyone
There has to be an invisible sun
That gives us hope when the whole day's done

[mrgorth]

1. Great song

God bless.

[knowbody0]

2. may your days be filled with sun!

After being "alone" and celibate for three plus years now, I can testify that being alone is 100% better than being "with" the wrong person.

Butterfly wings on a cat, that's you. Good Luck my friend.

I am Kate

[undergroundpanther]

3. Actually it's my cat Sparkle,

I photoshopped him..

This.. Is me..


Or this,

Or this,

Or this...


I think you get the idea... ;)

[knowbody0]

4. gotcha!

I been feelin like that lately as well. Like I could just send some people some of MY volts and get them out of MY orbit. That's good.

I'm hoping the actual moving out process goes smoothly for you, and that after he's gone your creative forces are set truly free. I like your style.

[mopinko]

5. what she said, only

more. good luck, kiddo. you can do it. i know it is scary, but you will find a way, and it will be YOUR way.
hope you are sleeping well still. that will fuel a lot of those flames. you go girl, just go!!
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :headbang: :headbang: :yourock: :yourock: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[undergroundpanther]

6. I stay up really late still

But when I go to bed, I am OUT.
I think the trauma issues have inverted my slepp rythm to nocturnal.
It's been this way for many years. My therapist thinks it has been nocturnal for so long it may be impossible to make it dirnal.

[shanti]

7. you got that right, kate!

i'm three years celibate too. being with the wrong person is MUCH worse than being without a SO! i'm not totally "alone" tho, cause my teen son, K, lives with me, 18 more months till college. it feels good. all my energy goes into K, his school, and his sports. don't have enough energy for anything or anyone else now, and so it goes...

peace