Mean minister made my sisterin-law-to-be cry

[GreenPartyVoter]

She and my bro have been living together for several years and are getting married next summer.

She wanted to get married in the church where her parents got married (dad passed away when she was 16).

1) the minister said they had to be active members of the church and take the church pledge to get married there

2) He told her that her dad is not in heaven.

Can you freaking believe that?!?

I wish I had his name and number. I's call him and give him a piece of my mind.

[lavenderdiva]

1. why on earth would any minister, in his right mind, make such

a statement? Also, what does he mean by a 'church pledge'? What denomination is this happening in?

I am so sorry that you and your sister-in-law-to-be and your brother are going thru this...

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. I don't know the details.. and I am not sure but maybe the pledge thing

is just becoming a member.

I hope they can find another church. I tried to talk them into looking for a liberal one in the first place, knowing that the fact they've lived together for years might stick in a few conservative pastors' craws. But she had her heart set on _that_ church.

[lavenderdiva]

5. Did anyone say anything to this minister when he made such an outrageous

statement about your Dad? I too, hope they find another church, but let this pastor know exactly WHY they are leaving. He should be fully aware, as should his staff and if there is one, the deacon committee, of exactly what transpired and why this church is losing members. I am sure your brother and sister-in-law-to-be were not the first people he has been so rude with, and if I was a betting person, would bet that this church has a declining membership?

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. I don't know is they said anything or not. I am tempted to call my lil bro

and ask him about all this since I got it secondhand from dad, but I don't want to be pushy.

I might just call and ask if they want help finding a better church.

[lavenderdiva]

7. That's probably a good idea, especially since the incident

was so upsetting for your sister-in-law-to-be... Good Luck!! :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. He's coming down to dad's over the weekend, so I just emailed Dad

a list of UCC, UMC, UU, and MCC churches in the area where they want to have the wedding. Hopefully they will find one they like from that group. :D

[lavenderdiva]

9. Mr. Lavenderdiva and I go to a UMC and love it...

reading their brochure that cited their church stance on social issues, I was pleasingly surprised to find how liberal they are! Our Sunday School class is full of liberal lawyers, city councilmen, and even the mayor! very refreshing indeed!

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. Cool :^D

[elshiva]

2. Sorry! What right has he to judge where dad is now?

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. Exactly! Moreover, how could he, a mere mortal, possibly know?!

[Momgonepostal]

11. The second part is inexcusable

I can't imagine any circumstances under which telling someone that would be appropriate.

I don't think the first part is that unusual, though. I know lots of churches will perform ceremonies for there own members only, or make couple take a class or something.

[realisticphish]

12. Not only is that uncalled for

but confusing, and kind of bizarre. I mean, how the HELL does this guy know what her Dad was like, or even what religion he was?

[RevCheesehead]

13. That's just cold. Like the center of hell.

I wonder if this was a casual conversation (like after church), or if he had them come in to see him in person. Usually, when a church has a "members only" policy, the secretary (or whomever) screens out the calls from people seeking the "rent the building" thing.

Although I can understand the "members only" wedding policy (and have had churches that practiced that policy), the second part about her Dad was just cruel.

If they'd like a wedding in Wisconsin (just south of Door County), let me know. We could work out something. :)