The anger......how do you cope??

[OnionPatch]

I have been working on becoming a more spiritual person in the face of all the horrible stuff that's going on in the world right now. My main problem is the anger. When I see people driving huge SUVs with W stickers on them, I want to throw them the bird, I even fantasize about running them off the road. When I am confronted with freeper-like behavior I become outraged. From what I've learned about spirituality, you must get rid of all this anger and project LOVE out to the world. I'm having such a hard time with this. Even though I know I should do this, there's something inside of me that fears giving up the anger. Something inside of me is afraid that if I give up the anger, I will stop caring about the problem. Something inside me fears that if people aren't angry, they will not work so hard for justice. I want to get rid of the anger, but I'm afraid to. Does this make sense?

I know anger is a problem with many of you. How do you cope?

[cally]

1. I'm struggling with this, also.

I don't have answers. I know I need to give up the anger and forgive but it's a constant struggle for me.

[RevCheesehead]

2. actually, Paul says "be angry but do not sin."

So feeling angry is different from acting on your anger. The trick is finding creative ways of dealing with the anger we all feel from time-to-time.

Great book: "Don't Forgive Too Soon" talks about understanding the nature of forgiveness as a proactive response, rather than an invitation to be a doormat. It takes the passages from the Sermon on the Mount, and gives a good exegesis on the real meanings of the texts... such as "turn the other cheek." It doesn't mean letting people continually beat you up. Actually, it's a passive form of confrontation.

[OnionPatch]

4. Yes, I had heard that

about "turn the other cheek" being a passive form of confrontation. Thom Hartmann, I think. He also said the one about walking another mile was the same thing.

[lavenderdiva]

11. Who is the author of this book?

this sounds like something I need to read. I have been struggling with the issue of forgiveness for many years. From what you share, the viewpoint taken by this book, is exactly what I have been looking for, to learn more. I am tired of people telling me to forgive, and have things be exactly as they were before the incident. Essentially, it turns me into a doormat. I don't want that, but I also don't want to harbor the resentment.

Is this in a christian bookstore, or would Barnes & Nobles have it?

[RevCheesehead]

12. Dennis and Sheila Linn

Here's the link to Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0809137046/ref=pd_ir_imp90/104-9292160-1814351?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance

[elshiva]

15. That's awesome. Rev.

Also, St Thomas Aquinas said that anger can be good if at the time and at right people. I try to focus my righteous indignantion at Bush and not people with the Dubya signs. Right now it's just protest and letter writing. But what else is there?

[Maat]

19. Wow, very insightful post, Rev.

[RevCheesehead]

20. Maat!!

How are ya, darlin? I've missed you! :hug:

[Maat]

21. Good. Waiting for the results of the bar exam I took in July 2005.

They will not be ready the end of November.

Doing a little law-clerking (pre-lawyering).

Take care!

[OnionPatch]

3. I used to be better at this

Four or five years ago, before the Bush cartel took charge, I could be forgiving or at least not be angry toward right-wing, freeper-type mentality, but that was before I realized how quickly and totally they're ruining our country. That was before their leaders started (blatantly) waging war on thousands of innocent people around the world and they began mindlessly falling in line to cheer it on. That was before I saw how they warped the words of Jesus to support these horrible things. I have all this anger and wonder what to do with it. A co-worker and I talked about anger in the context of being a Christian. She mentioned that Jesus was mad with the money-changers at the temple, etc. so maybe it's alright for us to get really POd sometimes. I'm not happy with this, though. She's a conservative and they seem to think Jesus is some rambo-style warrior of vengeance or something. The Jesus I learned about was all-loving and all forgiving.

[RevCheesehead]

5. Well, JC had some nasty fights with his religious leaders.

But he never stopped confronting them, either.

[OnionPatch]

6. You're making me feel a wee bit better

It's true, he did confront them. But in such a calm manner.... I want to lunge for someone's throat. :mad:

[RevCheesehead]

7. Hey - if he wanted to,

he could have said "My dad can kick your ass."
Maybe it's all in knowing who's ultimately in charge. :)

[OnionPatch]

8. Lol!

n/t

[cally]

10. Thanks for the book suggestion

I'll get it. :hi:

[AirmensMom]

22. Calm?

He overturned the tables ... when's the last time you did that?

:shrug:

This was meant as a reply to post #6. Now it should make more sense.

[RevCheesehead]

9. Laughter.

Good natured, heartfelt laughter.

[Old Mouse]

13. Anger is natural

and therefore difficult to manage. When it hits it sets off complex triggers for fight and defense, triggers that are primal tied into your feelings of self worth.

I try to remember that very rarely do people do anything they personally believe is morally wrong. They may have rationalized the hell out of a feeble excuse, but they truly believe at that moment what they have done is somehow justifiable. usually these people are actually at spiritual capacity, and are not capable of understanding a larger view of existence.

Then after I remember that, I still get mad...

[Wheezy]

14. I think

Anger should be productive, rather than destructive.
Oh yes, I am very angry -- steaming. But acting in a destructive manner doesn't do my reputation well, nor my rep as a Christian. I'm a democrat in a sea of republicans in the thirteenth most conservative region of the US (according to my senior pastor). I know I can scream at these people, but what good will that do? None at all.

Instead, I recently started to engage in political conversation socially with some of these folks. I have two church friends with whom I have friendly and humorous debates. We've gotten to the point where we can tease each other--I gave them each a "Republicans for Voldemort" bumper sticker and they both had a good laugh. Throughout our conversations, both have admitted that they are not die-hard republicans. One even confessed once that he thought Clinton was a pretty good president. And then he said, 'Don't tell anyone I said that!' Which makes him seem almost human, lol.

Basically, instead of yelling (like I really want to do), I ask questions. 'Why do you believe that?' or 'But did you know about this?' When they say 'The Katrina mess was all Ray Nagin's fault' I come back with 'Fema thought the best case scenario was to get 60% out. Mr. Nagin managed to evacuate 80%. What do you think about that?' Usually I get a baffled look...hopefully it makes them think about it.

I don't know how to say this without sounding condescending, but if I go about these conversations in the same way I would address my children, my patience is much higher and I can control that anger so much easier. They need to be taught, not screamed at.

*sigh* It doesn't always work. But it seems like the best way for me personally to actually feel like I'm accomplishing something, rather than screaming at empty minds and getting pegged as another 'extremist', and written off as not credible.

[RevCheesehead]

16. Great thoughts.

Hi, Wheezy - I don't think we've met before. Welcome to our group! :hi:

[Wheezy]

17. Hiya!

I read more than I write. Thanks for the welcome!

[I_Make_Mistakes]

18. My way to turn it around. I used to get so ticked when people

would not return their shopping carts (victim of many SC dents). So, I started returning the carts of other people, and if the abuser was still there, right in front of them to show them their digressions. I even did it with a broken foot on crutches, just to really send the message home, but I did it with great anger.

Then, I figured, this anger (which consumed me) was not pleasing God, the action perhaps was, but not my hostility.

So, now, when I do it, I do it with God, humbly, and am working on the anger (small now). I also go out of my way to thank others when they return their carts. This is a small ex. to show that turn the other cheek, doesn't mean, hate the messenger, but send the message.