I hate weddings!!!

[Critters2]

:rant: So, tonight, I'm supposed to meet with a couple to begin counseling and planning for their wedding. I turned down an invitation to dinner with some colleagues to do this, because they were insistent they needed to start on things this week (the wedding is in March). I was at the church, doing other things, but with the doors unlocked, for a good hour and a half ahead of time, and stayed for a full hour waiting. I tried to call, but got a message that the "unit is turned off or out of the service area".

Sure, they're predicting an apocalyptic snow storm later tonight, but if that (or something else) is the reason they didn't show, they could have called (and no, there are no messages in the voicemail at the church, my house, or my cell).

Weddings are the biggest pain in the butt in this profession, and I needed to rant.

Thank you.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

1. Ooh, they sound like typical modern flakes

When I was teaching, I learned that if I was organizing an outing for the students, I had to ask them to pay upfront, because otherwise, I could make arrangements and half of them wouldn't show up, even if they had said they would. I'd ask them about it the next day, and they'd say, "Oh, one of my friends asked me to go bowling" or "I just didn't feel like it."

And it wasn't just the students. The college president used to invite six to eight faculty members at a time over for dinner with the various guest speakers who came to campus. His wife was so tired of having professors fail to RSVP or just fail to show up that one day, I saw her in the college mailroom, putting notes in faculty members' mailboxes. She explained that since she hadn't heard back from three of that week's invited guests, she was writing "uninvitations," telling them that since they had not responded, she would not set a place for them. (She complimented me on always RSVPing O8) )

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. It's not a profession, it's a vocation. Remember that.

It will help you through the bad times, like doing *#&%*$#& weddings.

I would - and I am quite serious here - charge them for the time that they did not show up.

You can be damned sure that their caterers and everyone else they're hiring will charge them for overtime, no-shows, and other miscellaneous. Though if they are members of the church, that might be tougher to charge them for it.

The best way to get through the wedding process is not to care about it. Have the secretary (or preferably, someone at the church who is willing to take the role of "Wedding Coordinator") do all the paperwork, fee outlays, rules and regulations, and communication with the couple. Then, meet with the couple just once to go over the service, get to know their faces, and learn a little bit about them. The next time you see them is at the rehearsal (if you feel like doing that), and then about fifteen minutes before the actual wedding.

And everything gets paid in advance. EVERYTHING. Including your (mandatory) honorarium. And if you are asking for anything less than $150, you are crazy. Personally, I think ministers should start at $500 for weddings - the pain and suffering of the goddamn things should be worth at least 3-4 times a funeral honorarium.