Can't find a church where I feel like I belong

[AwakeAtLast]

I moved to a different area and decided I needed to change churches, too. The problem is that none of the ones around here seem to match me. I grew up Methodist, but I haven't clicked with the Methodist church here. I live in Central IN, so a lot of the churches here are straight up fundie. No UU that I can find near me.

I have a lot going on in my life right now and I would appreciate a church family for support.

How would you go about finding the right church for you? :shrug:

[TreasonousBastard]

1. Generally, just go church shopping...

try the ones that look like they might not be revival meetings and hang out for coffee hour. Talk to the people and see if things click.

Indiana is a center of the FUM Quaker universe-- Friends United Meeting is a branch that is more Christocentric, but still not terribly doctrinaire. It has actual churches and clergy, unlike most FGC Quakers.

http://www.fum.org/QL/meeting_directory.htm

Friends General Conference Quakers tend to be silent meetings without clergy...

http://www.quakerfinder.org/quaker/IN

If one of these is anywhere near you, you might drop in and see how you like it.

FWIW, we had a Methodist minister take a year off and came to our silent meeting. Said it helped him get his head back together.

[AwakeAtLast]

2. There are a few choices in you links - thanks!

I will have to check it out!

[TreasonousBastard]

3. If you have a contact number, or website, for the meeting, checking them out ...

before dropping in is always a good idea.

You just might find the spiritual community you're looking for in one of those meetings, but just so you have some idea what's going on, a "programmed" meeting or "Quaker church" is pretty much like a regular church service. An "unprogrammed" meeting is a silent meeting where everyone sits around "waiting on God." It's not as odd as you might think, once you've figured it out, but sometimes new attenders get a little wierded out by sitting in a group of people just seeming to stare into space. It's kind of like a group meditation. I prefer that, but it's not for everyone.

Some meetings have elements of both. And some are really, really small-- could be 6 people in someone's living room. You might want to avoid the really small ones.

Quakers have little doctrine, but we do have our testimonies-- Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, and Equality. We believe in supporting our community, and all that is asked of its members is that we live our lives according to these testimonies. (Oh, and there's a bill at the end of the year for members, but it's not that big.)

Good luck on your journey.

[Critters2]

4. UCCs in Indiana run the gamut from very liberal to conservative.

I could help you find one if I knew what cities are in your area. Or you can go to ucc.org, go to "411", then "find a church". Churches that call themselves "open and affirming" are glbt-friendly, which is a strong indicater that they're progressive in general. But some churches that aren't officially open and affirming are progressive as well.

Indiana is pretty much "ground zero" for the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Like the UCC, they can be very liberal, very conservative, and anything in between. There are TONS of DOC churches in Indiana. You might want to check some out.

Good luck!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

5. You might also check out the ELCA Lutherans and the Episcopalians

Call the synod (pronounced "sinnid") office for the Lutherans or the diocesan office for the Episcopalians and tell them what you're looking for in a church. They have a pretty good idea of the character of each parish in their area.

Or else just pick out a few likely churches and try attending the ones whose websites don't give you the creeps. There's no substitute for actually attending a service.

Before I moved here, I did some online "shopping" and thought I had found a church near the neighborhood I wanted to live in. When I came here to look for an apartment, I attended a service with my mother and stepfather. Two red flags came up: 1) No choir--music is an important part of my spirituality, 2) No one spoke to us at coffee hour, not even the clergy, even though the church was small enough that three strangers should be obvious.

The next Sunday (still apartment hunting), I attended a service at another church and knew immediately that I was "home." I joined once I was settled in my new apartment and have been a member for nearly six years.

[wryter2000]

6. Ask friends would be the best way

Have you met people in your new place? If you've met someone who's liberal and accepts science and hasn't made any anti-Christian noises, you might ask them. Even if they're athiest, they could be friendly toward people of faith. They might have a recommendation for you.

I just rediscovered my church afte 40 years and am loving it, so I can see how you'd feel bereft.

BTW, my church is Episcopalian, and they're a generally liberal church, although they do have conservative parishes.

[shimmergal]

7. There are UU churches in

Indianapolis, Bloomington, and Lafayette at least, if any of these cities is near you.

I also second the suggestions of other posters here. Good luck with your church search!

[clear eye]

8. First Congregational United Church of Christ in Indianapolis calls itself

"A progressive, inclusive, spiritually alive servant community"

Contact info:
7171 N. Pennsylvania St.
Indianapolis, IN 46240
Phone Number
317-257-5397
E-mail address
[e-mail]

[dcsmart]

9. if there is a catholic worker house in your area

drop in and volunteer. the Workers are usually very interesting people and have strong supportive communities. the opportunity to do something for others may be a way to clear your head and put "church" in perspective. you do not have to be catholic.


http://www.catholicworker.com/cwweb.htm

http://www.catholicworker.com/

http://southbendcatholicworker.org/


i think their server is down right now....their website has a directory and other resources. the sites above might help. hope you find something.

[Jamastiene]

10. I don't consider myself Christian but

one option you might could look into is an online church.

Years ago, I went through a period where I needed to reconcile and put my extreme fundamentalist upbringing (and some severe damage from that) behind me. I connected with a minister of a UU church online and we emailed back and forth for while. He really helped me see that not all Christians are like the extremists where I live. I benefited from the exchange.

Granted, my situation was different than yours, but maybe you could benefit some from an online community until you find a church to call home. It could give you a sense of community until you do find a place that is right for you.

[Divine Discontent]

11. great post! and there are some mainstream denominations that have very progressive churches

you just gotta look around. I have a mostly Gay worshiping crowd at the one I occasionally go to, so that works for me.

God bless!