Angry

[Tux]

I have intermittent explosive disorder. In short, I get angry very quickly and intensely. I haven't need meds for it in 2 years. Lately, I have been feeling angry at how jobs are scarce here, Bush is in office, faith-based anything everywhere, and Christians bitching how I'm not one of them (family as well). I used Buddhism to help maintain my anger but it isn't working right. Before I have to get meds (no job either, yay), can anyone recommend anything that may help and is cheap to free?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Anger is a tough one

One thing that's helped me is Glenda Green's book, "Love Without End". Realize it is basically a channelized being giving messages to the world and calling himself Jesus-but the teachings are universal, and not specifically Christian in nature.

The practices from the book I've found most helpful in dealing with anger, depression, and fear are these:

When confronted with a situation where I start feeling "bad" (seeds of anger or other emotion) I say, "I forgive myself my misperception." I then visualize releasing my attachment to whatever triggered the emotion, give thanks for the opportunity to do this, and then send out love and trust that what needs to happen will happen. Sometimes I've had to do this practice over and over; but I've found that it has helped.

One other thing you might find helpful is to call a friend of mine. She's a healer, one of the most powerful ones I've met. She walks her talk, and can help with emotional as well as physical problems. She doesn't charge (though she would accept donations I'm sure), and is willing to listen. If you're interested in more details, including her phone number, pm me.

[wildflower]

2. Here are two books that may be of help to you:

Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames
by Thich Nhat Hahn
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/B00006I4PE/102-5261603-4018531?%5Fencoding=UTF8
(I believe this is a downloadable .PDF; reviews at this link too.)

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend: Embracing Anger to Heal Your Life
by Isaac Steven, MD Herschkopf
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1401086047/qid=1117819028/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/104-1515456-4147132?v=glance&s=books

These two books are also at Barnes & Noble:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=gW4ZmzUB1v&isbn=1573229377&itm=1

and

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=gW4ZmzUB1v&isbn=1401086039&itm=2

and you may be able to find them at your local library.

I hope you find what you need.

-wildflower

[intheflow]

4. Ha! I posted the Thich Nhat Hanh book at the same time!

:hug: :hi:

[intheflow]

3. I also have had anger issues in the past.

You say you tried Buddhism. Have you read Thich Nhat Hanh's book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames? I discovered it the last time my anger got really bad (about 8 years ago, now), and it helped me a great deal.

But even as much as that book helped me, I think what has helped me the most is mellowing with age and being in a stable relationship with someone who doesn't spend huge amounts of energy trying to fuck with my head.

So I guess my secondary advice is to not allow people to fuck with your beliefs, which is the same thing as fucking with your head. Thoreau's essay Civil Disobedience speaks to this in a round-about way. Thoreau was imprisoned for not paying taxes he believed to be unjust. In his essay he wrote,

I saw that, if there was a wall of stone between me and my townsmen, there was a still more difficult one to climb or break through before they could get to be as free as I was. I did not for a moment feel confined, and the walls seemed a great waste of stone and mortar. I felt as if I alone of all my townsmen had paid my tax. They plainly did not know how to treat me, but behaved like persons who are underbred. In every threat and in every compliment there was a blunder; for they thought that my chief desire was to stand the other side of that stone wall. I could not but smile to see how industriously they locked the door on my meditations, which followed them out again without let or hindrance, and they were really all that was dangerous.

In other words, Thoreau had a transcendent experience where he felt more free for his beliefs, and felt a kind of pity for the sheeple outside of prison.

You are in a kind of "belief prison," but never forget your mind and conscience and soul are still free. Revel in that freedom, in spite of persecutions from those around you. They are the enslaved, they are the angry ones because you won't play by their rules. You are the truly free person of faith.

Take care of yourself, Tux. :hug:

[Tux]

5. Damn

Seems like I have to go on my meds again. Serotonin levels are low and I can barely manage my anger. This is what happens when my anger gets bad with my condition (no cure, thanks Republicans):
http://intl.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/abstract/289/5479/591?rbfvrToken=904d96121b07214f4089e425a356e580508e80ab
http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/full/99/12/8448
Basically, the frontal lobe decreases in activity while the mid-brain region increases in activity resulting in anger, aggression, possible violence, and increased use of mammalian instincts (think feral humans or animals).

I have no idea what to do. I found help 3 years ago, things were going good, but my area is heavy with religious nuts and some demand I become Christian (assuming I get a job) before I can get a schedule to enter grad school. Been at it for 5 years, never had a psych job, PC certifications are worthless as jobs go to India, and no one wants to hire me. I can barely control my impulses to yell at Christians for destroying this nation over a book and a dead man. I just want treatment, a job, a home, and health/dental insurance. But that is too much to ask.

I am just lost, confused, and want it all to end.

[Maat]

6. Oh, please take care.

On one side of the coin is anger; the other side is fear.

Deep in my heart, I know that you are a very special piece of God, or Spirit. You are on a perfect path, even though it does not seem perfect now. Sending healing energy to you, as well as "good news" energy (that last one - I just am praying you will receive extremely good news soon and will see the positive).

One thing that I learned while studying psychology (Master's) was that our own self-statements are what impact our brain chemicals the most. I'm praying (affirmative prayer) that you realize and deeply feel that you are on your right and perfect path, and that peace is within you - it begins there ("Yes, there is peace on Earth, and it has begin with me .. within me").

Take care!

P.S. Now, that I think about it, when I was in my 20's, kind of the same thing happened to me, only I experienced it as depression. I went to the university counselor. It disappeared as soon as I learned to set boundaries with my family. Your faith (or lack thereof) is your own personal business. I believe that you have to be firm about that.

Please don't hesitate to seek professional help if you need it - but with a person you TRUST.

[Tux]

7. Thanks

My gf is one I can trust. I just get too angry to see that at times. I have a simple faith, more like spiritual exploration like science. I hope you're right about being on a perfect path. I'm 30, BS in psych, never had a psych job, no job now, live with my dad, and have to fight like heck for a job that might allow me to attend grad school (had fights with employers since 2 wanted me to change religions). I'll give your advice a try and I am seeing my doctor Monday.

[Maat]

8. Take care of yourself.

Whenever you notice that a self-statement (something that pops into your head, so-to-speak) calms you down, write it down. That's what you are going to be picturing or saying, in order to adjust, when you feel that anger.

I thought I wasn't going to get a job in psych. either, and that was after an extensive accounting career, and chancing my family's future by going back to get a Master's in Psych. I got one as an MFCC/MFT intern; the supervisor and I didn't get along, and he let me go - he could WITHOUT reason. The solution lay where I didn't expect. I wrote out a job application kind of on a dare from a friend; I got the job. It was as a social services practitioner (social worker), and got to go out with law enforcement to the methamphetamine labs, in addition to helping families. I wouldn't have been blessed with my daughter without that odd turn-of-events (we adopted her through the county system - out of another county). So, blessings can come when we least expect it.

I go to my Unitarian-Universalist church, which is non-judgmental, welcoming, liberal and socially activist.

I also go to Church of Religious Science (Unity is similar). And I read everything by Neal Donald Walshe (starting with "Conversations with God" about how Spirit made science, evolution, is non-judgmental, and just wants us to experience). So, exploring other spiritualities and philosophies and religious beliefs has been a great thing for me.

I call myself a Unitarian-Universalist of the New Thought variety (Religious Science and Unity are New Thought philosophies).

Spend as much type as you can with your grandfather, and record down his good advice (just advice coming from a 47-year-old who has been around the block a few times). Videotape or record time with him. You won't regret it.

And read a book called, "Your Perfect Right." You are too neat a person, judging by your posts, to be reacting to dimwits.

I'm praying you will be economically empowered soon.

I'm also praying that you will find another couple of professions to combine that psych. knowledge with.

I retired from social work, and went back to law school - in order to have a more manageable schedule in part. Everything I learned in Psych. has been a godsend in terms of being successful in law school and in law clerking.

Take care (building things one step at a time)!

[sam sarrha]

9. Buddhism is based on Meditation Practice.. if you are not meditating and

you dont have an active relationship with a qualified teacher.. that may be what isn't working for you.

and i mean by meditating .. regular daily practice. when you are standing in line at the grocery store, or doing dishes.. whenever you can.. in little bits in addition to regular cushion time.

I have ADD and Meditation is the best thing that has ever happened to me.. I quit drinking after 30 years of alcoholism with meditation.

You probably need to watch your diet also.. sugars, and I would suggest you NEVER drink alcohol.. if you cant do that, maybe better wonder why.

there are some good Tibetan teachers Thubten Chodron, and another very well respected Teacher..Thich Nhat Hanh..'Anger:cooling the flames.' tape and book for sale used on Amazon.com. I really suggest Pemma Chodron, 'When things fall Apart' i still listen to that tape set 5 years later..about every month. I play the tapes while i commute in the car.. All The Time..!! I also have an anger problem...

[Tux]

10. Good

I did find a Zen group at my UU church. I do meditate when waiting in lines, waiting at stop lights, watching TV (very little), and just before I go to sleep. While I have no formal teacher, I do feel better now. I just needed o focus on my feelings and what was causing them. I feel much better but still unemployed. I have applied at several places so I should hear something soon, hopefully.

[sam sarrha]

11. you need to read the book 'Buddhism with an Attitude' by B Allen Wallace'

it really explains what meditation is and how it works. My Chenrezig Group started a book group one night a week.. we had meetings on Monday/Wednesday and meditation on Sat Morning.. so Wed night after the meeting we spent an hour discussing the book, which was suggested reading before a public talk by H.H. the Dalai Lama. this book is sooo wonderful the word got out and we went from 6 people in it to 40 people.. and there were only abut 12 regular members to begin with..

You might want to check out a Tibetan group if you can.. Their system of meditation is Very much different than Zen. It is designed to accommodate the various different mental dispositions.. I tend to be more Intellectual/Visual and Zen didn't work for me at all. Our group was based on the Galupa tradition.. it was really facinating...

there is one used at http://www.Amazon.com for $8.48 used

I now live in western TN and have been fired form a job because i had a Free Tibet bumper sticker.. I was fired for beng a Buddhist.. it happened twice in Texas.. but this place is REALLY oppressive!!

[Maat]

13. You'll get the job that is perfect for you.

I just know it.

I'm going to meditate tonight. I need it.

[AutumnMist]

12. I would create a space for yourself that isn't

intruded upon by the triggers that make you angry. I am not over simplifying anything that you have gone through or continue to go through. My brother had a very explosive anger problem growing up. This is all just advice from what I myself have seen with my brother. My brother was told by a counselor when he was younger to create a pace just for him. A place that could not or cannot be intruded upon for an hour or two a day. No music, no news, no friends that pissed him off. Just solitude. My brother hated meditation sitting in a room, so he started running. Not at any pace or for any other reason outside of the fact that he loved to be outdoors. He learned to pace himself through the running/walking and learned to push himself to achieve certain goals for himself. It was amazing. He is now 32 and has won many medals via triathlons and even trained for the iron man stuff. He never did it for the medals...he did it because it worked the kinks out for him. Without medication. I hope this helps you. He is a happy and pretty well adjusted man now. He still runs, everyday, just for him. :)

[undergroundpanther]

14. Calming tea

My recipie here...


Hops flowers 1 part
Valerian root 1 part (reduce valerian if you feel tired)
catnip 1 part
mugwort 1 part
kava kava 1 part
cinnamon,lemon,honey, orange peel for taste(it tastes kinda funky)
Steep the herbs in a teaball swirl it around in a cup of hot water for around ten minutes or more.

Drink it warm or cold.

Sip tea intermittently to soothe anxiety and ward off anger when you know you will be under stress.
Kava Kava can help soothe anger because it has a de stressing effect..as in helping you feel less irritated.

It doesen't cost too much to get a bit of these herbs in a bag at a health food store where they sell bulk dry herbs.You may get quite a suppply for 4 or 5 bucks.You only need about a half teaspoon for a "part" and it can make two strong cups for 1 cup use the teaball as the meassure and fill it in 5ths. .For a whole pitcher to store in the fridge ,use a tablespoon and a half at least of each of the herbs listed.Add more if you want strionger tea. Put the Tea in a sport bottle with some ice and sip.

Don't drink it if you are allegic to the herbs in it, or it gives you the shits or a bellyache use common sense.
Good luck.

[LiberalEsto]

15. Get a couple of other people

and start a support group.
When I was unemployed for 13 months, my church had an unemployment support group that was a real lifesaver. Just being able to vent and share with others who were in the same boat was immensely helpful.

[Maat]

16. This is great advice, LiberalEsto.

Happy Holidays!

[LiberalEsto]

17. Happy holidays to you too, Maat

and thanks.

I'm a big fan of support groups. Years ago I ran a PMS support group. Often the biggest relief that our members got was just from realizing that they were not alone or crazy.

Once in a while someone would bring their husband to the group so he could listen to other women who were having similar issues. This helped them learn not to blame their wives for being "crazy" and to accept that PMS was a legitimate problem.

Lots of Americans are suffering from job losses and the inability to get decent-paying work and health coverage. Too often, they suffer alone. By getting together and sharing, they can vent, realize they are not alone, and share strategies for overcoming their problems.

[Maat]

18. I was a social worker for seven years ..

and a therapist-intern for two.

If I learned anything, it is that support groups are VERY effective; in fact, they are what is effective.

Nobody helps better than someone who has walked in your moccasins.

[Pharaoh]

19. did you get back on meds?

I suffer from depression/chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia

and antidepressants are a helpful tool in coping in this insane world

I highly recommend "A New Earth" by eckhart Tolle

depression is just part of your path and anger is a form of it, It comes from a feeling of powerlessness over people and events, truly the only POWER you hold is in how you react to these things.

[Flying Dream Blues]

21. Pharoah, I heard of a relatively new medication that is

apparently very successful in treating depression with fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue. It's called Cymbalta, and I've heard of one person who is completely pain free after years of crippling fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. You may not be into taking meds, but thought I would throw it out there, especially after just reading the synchronicity thread.
:)

[crikkett]

20. Calcium & protein help, how's your diet?

My Gyn Doctor swears that PMS is a calcium deficiency. Taking calcium myself mitigated every and all PMS symptom I experienced, including moodiness and irrational anger.

Even if you're not a girl, guys need calcium too. One sign of deficiency is weak fingernails.

Protein also helps mental fogs and unease.